Skull Session: Urban Meyer's Favorite QB Coach, Cam Williams' Life in the NFL, and the Memphis Grizzlies Court Mike Conley

By D.J. Byrnes on June 28, 2016 at 4:59 am
Ed Warinner earned a Buckeye leaf in service of the June 28th 2016 Skull Session.

Go ahead and write it in blood: Ohio State (-5) vs. Michigan is money in the bank. Thank me when you're paying your December rent in fresh Harriet Tubmans.

 THIS ONE GURU URBZ LIKES. If I were a big-time college football coach (let's all take a moment to smirk at the stupidity of that thought), I wouldn't funnel my quarterbacks to quarterback gurus.

Sure, who doesn't love watching a quarterback drill while a man waves a broom in their face? But unless that coach was totally aligned with my offensive philosophy, it seems like it'd be easy for a QB to muddle the teachings. Besides, brooms are illegal in the game of football.

Yet Urban Meyer called freshman QB Dwayne Haskins, then a four-star prospect out of Maryland, the most advanced passer at that age. Bryson Spinner, a former collegiate QB turned trainer, had a lot to do with that.


"The quarterback coach, like I told you, we'll have him come in here and meet with us because he's that good," Meyer said. "The fundamentals that Dwayne Haskins possesses right now is as good as I've ever seen in a young quarterback." 

That coach is Spinner, a former college quarterback who played at Virginia and Richmond before a brief stint in the NFL. Spinner now runs Perfect Performance, a training business that helps prepare athletes for the next level. Spinner would hate this his business was even mentioned because he doesn't want financial gain. He doesn't. 

"He's not about all that stuff," Haskins said. 

This may be an opinion that shocks some, but if Meyer wants this one guru in his unit room, that's okay with me. (Poor Tim Beck. If Ohio State doesn't have an explosive offense by Week 3 there's going to be a forum post asking why Urban just won't hire Spinner instead.)

 CAM TALKS NFL ADJUSTMENT. Former Ohio State linebacker Cam Williams came to Columbus from West Roxbury, Mass. in 2012 as part of Urban Meyer's first recruiting class.

Though a former four-star prospect that lettered for an undefeated team his freshman year, Williams was eventually supplanted by more talented underclassmen. That never lessened his dedication to the team, though.

He beat those former teammates to the NFL, albeit with a different route from the NFL draft. Williams joined the New England Patriots front office back in February. 


Major props to Williams. He got his degree paid in full, saved his body from some damage, and is in the process of a football career with more longevity than playing.

One of his goals is to become the youngest GM in NFL history too... as if Urban Meyer and Ohio State need another kind of recruiting feather.

 MEMPHIS WANTS CONLEY TO STAY. Though Mike Conley suffered a season-ending Achilles tear with the Memphis Grizzlies in April, the new free agent point guard will only turn 29 in October.

Respect to Memphis, but 80% of NBA cities are more appealing to a young millionaire (or so I think).

In the Grizzlies' efforts to return their conductor, who averaged 15.3 points and 6.1 assists in 56 games last year, the franchise enlisted the services of the Memphis orchestra... and Justin Timberlake?

The only worse representative for grit than Justin Timberlake is a full-time "blogger" who has been shirtless for two weeks because the team he bandwagoned for two months won a world championship.

Yet if there were ever three men to redeem that selection, it'd be alleged Indianapolis weed boss Zach Randolph, Baby Gasol, and Tony Allen.

If Conley can look those three in the eye and say "thanks for the years in the trenches, lads, but I'm off to Miami!"—he's a colder customer than me.

 GO ON THEN. I don't even like shoes or care about them, and even I think the only thing missing from Cardale Jones' custom cleats is a 100 emoji.

Might be too much for some, but I like the touch of Nick Saban's blood dripping from the Nike logo.

 OSU INNOVATING IN THE SOAP GAME. It's a great time to be an Ohio State fan, which means it's a bad time to be an Ohio State hater.

Sure, there are sickening things like "50-4 Urban Meyer sitting on top of the nation's No. 1 recruiting class." Soon, though, Ohio State will also eliminate everyday nuisances that fuddled humanity for generations.

It will be a predicament for the naysayers. Will they credit Ohio State and pay the iron royalty tax or continue their Neanderthal ways?  


COLUMBUS, Ohio—It’s one of life’s little annoyances: that last bit of shampoo that won’t quite pour out of the bottle. Or the last bit of hand soap, or dish soap, or laundry detergent.

Now researchers at The Ohio State University have found a way to create the perfect texture inside plastic bottles to let soap products flow freely. They describe the patent-pending technology in a paper to appear in the journal Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society on June 27.

The technique involves lining a plastic bottle with microscopic y-shaped structures that cradle the droplets of soap aloft above tiny air pockets, so that the soap never actually touches the inside of the bottle. The “y” structures are built up using much smaller nanoparticles made of silica, or quartz—an ingredient in glass—which, when treated further, won’t stick to soap.

Ohio State only hires the brightest minds. Eat shit, haters:

 THOSE WMDs. "Spy house," a decrepit reminder of betrayal, sits empty in New Jersey... Tronc's data delusion... Birds of prey target swimmers' underwear to line nests... The high is always the pain and the pain is always the high... The Mexican actress who bedazzled El Chapo.

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