Ohio State guaranteed itself a spot in Super Bowl 50 over the weekend.
No offense to Nate Ebner or Bradley Roby, but I hope it ends with the Buckeye cartel out of North Carolina dabbing on New England and running off with Tom Brady's ashes.
Also: 365 days from today the Browns will be closing in on their first championship since 1964. If you live within a 150 1,000 mile radius of Cleveland, it's best to start planning for that reckoning now.
ICYMI:
- Report: Four-star 2016 linebacker Keandre Jones flipped from Maryland to Ohio State.
- The No. 5 women's basketball team thrashed Purdue by 20.
SHAKEUP NEEDED. We all know the Buckeye offense struggled throughout most of the season. The numbers, however, are less kind.
From foxsports.com:
The Buckeyes ranked lower in every major statistical category on offense, from rushing yards (264.5 per game to 245.2) to passing (247.1 to 188.8) to passing efficiency rating (167.7 to 139.9).
[...]
Overall, Ohio State went from the No. 1 offense in the country to No. 14 according to offensive S&P+, a measure that combines play-by-play efficiency and ability to create big plays.
Urban Meyer and Bob Stoops are boys, and I think Urban saw the offensive rebirth Oklahoma underwent after Stoops trimmed some fat from his staff last January.
Nick Vannett made it clear (in my mind) Tim Hinton's bump to an "administrative role" wasn't mutual. This distinction matters to some, but not to me.
Hinton's 2015 review recommended he improve his "value to staff," and Meyer isn't running a charity. That's often the drawback to big salaries: They come with big expectations.
WHAT THE HELL, BASKETBUCKS? I trotted out the "Get Dumped Then, Maryland" headline on Saturday. It was the first time I used it for a basketball game, and it will be the last until at least March 2017.
Maryland mugged the Bucks on Saturday. Worse yet, the team quit (again). So what's the deal?
From sportsrappup.com:
The Big Picture – I couldn’t help but sense a little irony that Ohio State’s latest spanking came on a court named after Gary Williams, who had three years as OSU head coach before returning to his alma mater and solidifying the Maryland program.
Williams was a fighter and often challenged the hearts of his players. He was just the kind of coach who could turn a six-point loss into a three-point win and a 25-point loss into a six-point loss. Matta isn’t quite the same personality. He’s an outstanding feel coach who understands preparation, adjustments and game momentum. Give him an honest effort and he’ll guide you to the winner’s circle or pretty damn close to it.
But he’s not the kind of guy who is going to burn all of his timeouts to scream at a young team that is still trying to figure out how to compete and, sometimes, save face. Sure, we’ve seen “Purple Thad” during a timeout or two, but at Maryland it was clear his team didn’t have any clue and he wasn’t going to put all of his energy and rancor into helping his baby Buckeyes find one.
The Buckeyes show flashes of the talent, but one of the young guys has to take control of the locker room because, as noted, Purple Thad Matta can only scream at the parched horse while it neglects the glistening oasis at its hoofs.
Marc Loving, who I expected to fill that role by now, responded to adversity by punching a chair. (I remain flummoxed why us dudes love punching inanimate objects during moments of frustration like something besides us is going to get hurt. It's why I stopped playing video games.)
After the game, Daniel Giddens logged into Twitter and sent his first Tweets since December 19th:
To our whole fanbase I apologize
— D. Giddens (@DGOOD__) January 17, 2016
This won't happen again...
— D. Giddens (@DGOOD__) January 17, 2016
Tweets are wind, but it's good to see somebody in that locker room take these ass-kickings personally.
GUY NAMED "CUTLER" WANTED FOR JACK-ASSERY. Ohio State's men's ice hockey team gutted Michigan Saturday night with an epic nine-shootout win.
On Sunday night, It led Michigan 6-3 entering the third period before the Wolverines unleashed five unanswered goals for the win. They then started a rumble:
That's No. 39, Dexter Dancs, with the always-brilliant "punching a man wearing a full helmet" hustle. At least he was wearing gloves while doing so.
No. 4, Cutler Martin, is the true villain. After getting subdued like an unruly dog by two Buckeyes who clearly weren't about to risk their scholarships over end-of-game baboonery, he goes ballistic, takes down Brendon Kearney and a ref, and then takes a bunch of cheap shots at Kearney's protected head.
Both those clowns should be suspended, because if they pulled something like that at a bar they'd be in jail waiting to see a judge this morning.
LEERY JAMARCO. I'm glad I was too busy playing EverQuest (the greatest video game in history) to be concerned with being "cool" at the ruins of the Marion Mall when I was in middle school:
Little kids at the mall be so bad man
— Jamarco Jones (@jjones_74) January 17, 2016
If these #teens are striking fear into Jamarco's soul then what hope is there for us mortals?
This is why I only go to Easton's Bibibop during school hours. I'm not trying to take a chair to the skull from some young tough who thinks smoking cigarettes is cool.
NOAH SPENCE LOOKS HEALTHY. This year's Khalil Mack and worthy of a Top 10 pick? So says Noah Spence's trainer:
"@nspence94 is a Top 10 Pick. 6'3 258 With quickness of a Rb. Is this years Khalil Mack Comparison in the Draft. pic.twitter.com/fDdOZD90YX
— Chuck Smith NFL (@chucksmithnfl) January 17, 2016
Not sure what's more incredible: A 258-pound man that can move like that or that an opponent didn't die this season.
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