Some folks of a haughtier nature like to refer to Michigan State fans as juggalos as if "Juggalos" is a slur in the Year 2015 (Wario).
Riddle me this though; what's more intimidating: A dipshit, beady-eyed mountain weasel that's been hunted to borderline extinction or a man that unironically listens to ICP and has a bucket of bath salts coursing through his veins?
Truth be told, I respect the juggalos and their free-wheeling nature. I've often dreamed of letting my receding hairline down and running wild with them for a 72-hour hallucination hustle — most recently this summer during the Gathering of Juggalos at Legend Valley — but as a retired family man I now lack the required constitution to return to my natural feral state.
So for that, I'm choosing not to antagonize this menacing fiend. Instead, I'm going to silently grip the taser in callous anticipation of when this mangy fella inevitably bum-rushes anyway.
|12:00||No. 21 MEMPHIS at TEMPLE||UM (-1½)||ESPNU|
|12:00||FLORIDA ATLANTIC at No. 8 FLORIDA||UF (-31)||SEC|
|12:00||PURDUE at No. 5 UNDEFEATED IOWA||IOWA (-22)||ESPN2|
|12:00||No. 12 MICHIGAN at PENN STATE||UM (-3½))||ABC|
|3:00||CHATTANOOGA at No. 12 FLORIDA STATE||OFF||ESPN3|
|3:30||No. 19 HOUSTON at CONNECTICUT||UH (-10)||ESPNU|
|3:30||No. 15 LOUISIANA STATE at No. 22 MISSISSIPPI||MISS (-6)||CBS|
|3:30||WAKE FOREST at No. 1 CLEMSON||CLEM (-29)||ESPN2|
|3:30||No. 24 SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA at No. 23 OREGON||UO (-4½)||EPSN|
|3:30||UCLA at No. 13 UTAH||UTES (-2)||FOX|
|4:00||CHARLESTON at No. 2 ALABAMA||OFF||SEC|
|7:00||No. 16 NAVY at TULSA||NAVY (-13)||CBSSN|
|7:30||BOSTON COLLEGE at No. 4 NOTRE DAME||ND (-15)||NBCSN|
|7:30||No. 10 BAYLOR at No. 6 OKLAHOMA STATE||OSU (-1)||FOX|
|8:00||No. 18 TEXAS CHRISTIAN at No. 7 OKLAHOMA||OU (-11)||ABC|
|10:30||CALIFORNIA at No. 11 STANFORD||STAN (-11)||ESPN|
THE SPARTAN DOSSIER. Here's everything you need to know about No. 9 Michigan State ahead of its 3:30 p.m. trip into the Horseshoe:
- Going to GameDay? Don't forget the 11W sign challenge.
- Film Study: Scouting Michigan State's defense.
- Film Study: Stopping Connor Cook and Aaron Burbridge.
- Roundtable, featuring Ramzy, Chris, and Andrew.
- MSU-OSU a goldmine for NFL scouts.
- On the Recruiting Front: Meyer vs. Dantonio.
- Michigan State is the only football power fueled by a grudge, and that makes it dangerous.
COOP SURVIVORS: SKIP TO THE NEXT PART. I was more worried about Ohio State losing one of its last ten games than I am the next three. That said, when dealing with the aforementioned salts connoisseur who hasn't slept in 50 hours, there's always a chance things could go wrong.
For survivors of the Cooper years, they already know where this is headed.
Seventeen years ago doesn’t sound all that long ago coming from Renaldo Hill. He recalls the details of Ohio State’s final drive and the series of plays that led to his fourth-down interception in the end zone as if he were doing a postgame interview.
“They were moving the ball pretty well that drive. I recall coach (Nick) Saban calling a time out,” said Hill, now the cornerbacks coach for former MSU defensive coordinator Pat Narduzzi at Pittsburgh. “(Saban) pretty much said, ‘That’s it, you (corners) are on your own. You’ve got to hold up on the back end. I’m bringing pressure.”
“During that point, all those things that they teach you just kind of click in in those moments, habits you create. The teachings that coach Saban and coach Dantonio had instilled in us throughout the whole year, it clicked in — how to play in the red zone, how to play with technique.”
This game is always mentioned whenever a high-ranked Ohio State hosts Sparty. How successful is this trope? Well, they're throwing it back to dialup's heyday.
That said, a Sparty dope fiend bid would require Connor Cook to post a career day and Ohio State's defense to be bad. The runes don't see it happening.
MOMENT OF SILENCE TO THE RUTGERS DIEHARDS. If you're doing that thing today where you stand in a parking lot and drink Loko out of red cups with pals, don't forget to pour some out for the souls condemned to a life of caring about Rutgers football.
"Obviously, I'm frustrated," the 36-year old said. "Everyone is frustrated. Regardless of that frustration, I'm still going for my love of football and for the guys out there on the field.
"All the other stuff and the nonsense going on, it'll take care of itself. The important thing to remember is that we have these 18- to 23-year-olds out there that deserve the support of the community."
He finds support from the other fans in what he calls "the roving crew" that go to road games. He also finds it from the opposing fans, because they can appreciate what it takes to travel several hundred miles to a game ... and then to sit in the stadium as your team gets clobbered.
Rutgers is 3-7 and is at West Point today.
I was prepared to really have a go, but then I realized I'm a Cleveland Browns fan who's watched 90% of snaps since 2007. The worst thing is it's been 20 minutes and I can't which fate is worse.
A BEAUTIFUL MIND. If they renovated my apartment and found something that looked like this I'd be labeled insane.
When they renovated Ohio Stadium, they found this old blackboard full of Woody Hayes' writing. pic.twitter.com/WDr57GdIs2— College GameDay (@CollegeGameDay) November 20, 2015
#PERTINENTHEISENBERG. There's only one way to deal with a man wearing psychotic chip on his shoulder:
FINAL SCORE PREDICTION: 31-13.
THOSE WMDs. I wanna party with this dude... My favorite Gary Pinkel story... Farmer removes molehill, finds cache of Roman coins... The Coventry Blitz: Hysteria, terror and neurosis... The murders next door... What in the world is this whale-sized tubular sea monster?