Ohio Governor John Kasich Issues Annual “Scarlet Letter Saturday” Proclamation Ahead of The Game

By Dan Hope on November 24, 2017 at 11:34 am
Ohio Gov. John Kasich and Lt. Gov Mary Taylor released their annual Scarlet Letter Saturday proclamation on Saturday.

As has become an annual tradition since 2013 on the day before The Game, Ohio Gov. John Kasich and Lt. Gov. Mary Taylor made their annual "Scarlet Letter Saturday" proclamation on Friday morning, "urging all Ohioans to avoid using the alphabet's unlucky 13th letter" on Saturday.

This year's resolution takes notes of the fact that Michigan has not had a Heisman Trophy since Charles Woodson in 1997, leaving Ohio State with more than twice as many total winners of the award:

WHEREAS, Saturday’s edition of The Game marks 20 long years since that hapless northern school’s last Heisman Trophy winner, giving them three players to be so recognized, versus seven winners for the Buckeyes; and

The proclamation also takes note of the fact that Ohio State has won five straight games against the Wolverines, meaning that every player on the Buckeyes roster remains undefeated in The Game.

WHEREAS, not a single member of this year's Buckeye football team knows what it's like to lose to that team up north, and will fight on Saturday to continue to live in such ignorant bliss; and

Michigan coach Jim Harbaugh's khakis are not spared from the resolution:

WHEREAS, Buckeye fans find far more joy in supporting a coach who is more well known for championships and a string of victories over his team’s rival than the opposing coach whose notoriety comes primarily from his choice of pant; and

Finally, the proclamation reminded Michigan players, who said earlier this week that they felt as though they won last year's game, that the Buckeyes did, in fact, score more points than the Wolverines.

WHEREAS, players from that team up north have recently discovered facts, just like first downs, are difficult, including the fact that last year the Buckeyes most assuredly scored more points than their rival, and will do so again, and again, and again….

The proclamation also encourages the Buckeyes to "win this one for Terry Glenn," the former Ohio State wide receiver who will be honored by the Buckeyes on Saturday after being killed in a car accident on Monday. 

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