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'Twas the night before Blacksburg,

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OldSchoolBuckeyefan's picture
August 27, 2015 at 11:37am
41 Comments

'Twas the night before Blacksburg, where the Bucks from O’ State
planned to rout the Hokies by at least 48.
College Gameday was there with Corso and Herbie,
in hopes that Coach Meyer would announce his QB.

The players were nestled all snug in their beds,
with visions of 9 touchdowns danced in their heads.
And Big Nut in face paint, and Buck Guy with his cape
were being scalped for tickets on yard-line eight.

When out on the team bus there arose such a clatter,
Urban sprang from his throne to see what’s the matter.
Running to the bus painted in Scarlet and Gray,
Urban knocked over the hated Anti-Buck, Mark May.

“What the Eff ?” swore Urban at the dazed announcer.
He quickly bound him and demanded an answer.
“We were bugging the bus so we might discover,
which way we should bet the over/under”

May had a companion, a porky old bloke,
Urban knew in a moment it was Brady Hoke.
More rapid than Ted Ginn, his Buckeyes then came,
and he whistled and shouted and called them by name:

"Now Decker! Now Boren!
Now, Elfein and Farris!
On, Braxton! On, Barrett!
On, Cardale and Paris!
Show Mark he’s dead wrong!
Make him sing our school song!!
Now Dash away! Smash away!
Nine units strong!"

And then, ‘twas heard past a small grassy knoll,
Bucks raised May’s pants up Lane Stadium’s flagpole!
As Urban rubbed his head and was turning around,
Hoke jumped off the Game Day stage with a bound.

His outfit was dirty, from his head to his shoe,
and his clothes were all uglyfied with Maize and Blue.
A bag of donuts he had flung on his back,
as if he was courting his first heart attack.

He was chubbier and plumper, than Urban remembered,
who smiled as he recalled Hoke’s teams he dismembered.
A twitch of his head that was nodding and red
made Brady look like a giant bobblehead.

Hoke spoke not a word, but scarfed down a stale donut,
never offering Urban one (what a cheap opponent!)
And pulling his own finger, then holding his nose,
he cut a huge fart, and up the hill he rose.

Hoke sprang to his pickup, and flipped Urban a bird,
His pants badly stained (the fart held a turd.)
But I heard him shout, 'ere he sped past some trucks,

"Don’t Eff this up, Urban.  I bet on the Bucks."

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