TTUN Scandal CCCXVI

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Amidst a flurry of takes on Petitti's letter to the COI, PremierDrum offers some reassurance:

My friends.

I implore you to stop worrying about Petitti's letter: It was as run-of-the-mill, part-of-the-job and expected as possible.

The facts of this case are air tight. The COI's punishment rubric is well-established. The list of aggravating factors could fill a Cheesecake Factory menu.

While Boob Salsa flaunts and flails about "wHiStLeBlOwEr" conspiracy theories so violently his nipples are chafing, the NCAA's legal team will soon - if they haven't already - sign off on the COI panel's decision to be readied for publication.

We aren't months away from the end of this: A week or two, maybe 3, are all that separates us from the truth.

We're here because UM couldn't stomach the NCAA's minimum ask.

That aggravated Failure to Monitor charge - with its 1 to 3 year postseason ban - looms large.

Stay the course.

Brohio lets us in on how silly we look to certain fans up north whenever we use the term "vacation." It's weird that the NCAA also talks about recreational travel whenever they try and talk about adjusting records.

I have a newer guilty pleasure that I need to confess. I may not think any wins are going to be vacated as a result of the NCAA investigation but that doesn’t mean I don’t love seeing the topic discussed on 11W. Why? Any time 11W talks about a “vacation” of records, I now immediately run to my favorite Michigan 11W fan club site and watch the unfiltered confident ignorance of them joking about the word “vacation”. A few weeks ago, I noticed that these dolts actually don’t know the alternative definition of the word, but more importantly they don’t know this term is pulled directly from the NCAA bylaws. It’s not a gag or a bit over there. The hive mind as a whole legitimately doesn’t know. The dictionaries in Ann Arbor seemingly have everything past the first sentence of the definition of the word vacation redacted. The train arrives right on schedule over there whenever anyone uses the term over here. I’m probably ruining my own fun by posting this and making them self-aware, but it is probably my favorite thing about their thread. “Pack your bags honey! They’re going on VACATION” is always a huge hit over there and met with a chorus of laughs. "They must not teach grammar in Ohio" they scoff, pushing up their glasses with the smug, displaced blind confidence of an 65 year old crosseyed drunkard attempting to make a pass at Sydney Sweeney after 15 margaritas at the all inclusive resort. It’s absolutely fascinating. No one steps in to say “Hey fellas. The NCAA handbook uses the exact term ‘vacation of records’ a lot… like a hundred times actually. Sure maybe the 11W & RCMB guys look crazy with their wacky conspiracy theories but maybe we as a collective should attempt grasp concepts from a 4th grade copy of Merriam-Webster before we start talking shit”

Here’s a sample from the handbook boys. If you need me to post a few Ms. Rachel videos to help you get through the first few 5+ letter words, just let me know. I got you! You can do it guys. We believe in you.