12. When Bret Bielema is fired from Arkansas, he is guaranteed a job at my Mercedes Benz dealership.
When Bret Bielema is fired at my Mercedes Benz dealership, he is is guaranteed a job cleaning my lakehouse.
When Bret Bielema is fired from his job cleaning my lakehouse, he will receive the Samford head coaching job for life.
*WARNING: THIS WAS WRITTEN BY CLAY TRAVIS. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK*
