Camp Cliches and Other Stuff

By Keith on August 15, 2010 at 7:00 am

Here we are about to embark on another season of college football following a team that most assurdely can be found in our genetic code. Scouring the internets and newspapers during preseason camp almost always lends itself to discovering a new tidbit or two. Unfortunately, it also uncovers many of the most tired quotes, some of which have crossed over into the realm of cliche.

The constant interview process no doubt turns mundane and clinical sometimes. As a result, players tend to provide less than insightful answers, opting instead for responses that provide the sound bite but also gets the mic or voice recorder out of their face.

I really can’t blame them.

But, being that it’s still relatively early in camp, we haven’t been subjected to the full gamet of cliches just yet. They will be here before too long. In thinking back, I’d thought it interesting to list some of my favorite camp cliches. Certainly game cliches are easier to come by but ones from camp are often just as ridiculous and comical. Here are are my favorites:

“Mr Such and Such added weight and he’s even faster!”

You rarely hear this one from coaches. It’s usually players on the team who talk up a someone who has made strides in the offseason. But, let’s be clear - while the player may have gained 15lbs, they definitely aren’t faster. Already this year, we’ve seen talk of Jaamal Berry edge dangerous close to this cliche.

“Every spot is up for grabs.”

Here’s one from coaches which makes you do everything in your power not to roll your eyes. I’m pretty sure Terrelle Pryor could throw two picks in every practice and he’ll still be under center against Marshall. He and Mike Brewster can have center-exchange issues all camp and Brewster will still be making line calls to start the season. What coaches really mean is they are evaluating all positions, but especially ones that are being hotly contested. So, say that.

“We are closer as a team this year”

Ah, isn’t that sweet? When you don’t have anything else to say, trot out this gem. Michigan’s Mike Martin did a few days ago.

“We are tired of hitting each other. It will be good to hit someone else.”

The zenith of all camp cliches. It’s used invariably by someone on the team every year and I laugh out loud everytime. I’m not sure how players say it with a straight face. I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if Marshall says the same things as they wind down camp and begin preparing for Ohio State.

Let me know the ones I forgot.

Travis Howard No Fan of Drama

Switching gears, decidedly not cliche would be Travis Howard’s Twitter bio. In an age where Twitter seems to cause more harm than good for athletes to the point some teams ban it completely, Howard’s offers a refreshing bit of quality unfiltered advice:

Travis Howard Twitter Bio

Bonus points for using the word ‘conversate’ in any way. Here’s to our young corner who looks for playing time and a drama free lifestyle.

Season Ticket Holders Rejoice

Slotting Colorado into the open 2011 schedule seems all but done as discussed yesterday. While the final dollar-dollar bills y'all are being worked out, the thought of Colorado coming to Columbus is welcome news to most anyone with season tickets. The current 2011 home schedule is one notch short of pathetic with Iowa being the only game even remotely exciting. Sorry Michigan State.

First Order of Business, Block this Guy.

Mike Adams and JB Shugarts, meet Miami defensive end, Allen Bailey.  (YouTubage)