Saturday Skull Session

By D.J. Byrnes on September 5, 2015 at 4:59 am
148 Comments

Today's slate isn't one for the record book, but it's not bad for a schedule that can't produce a Buckeye W or a Michigan L.

TIME (ET PM) GAME FAVORITE TELEVISION
12:00 No. 21 STANFORD at NORTHWESTERN STAN (-11½) ESPN
3:30 LOUISVILLE at No. 6 AUBURN AUB (-11) CBS
3:30 VIRGINIA at No. 13 UCLA UCLA (-19½) FOX
3:30 PENN STATE at TEMPLE PSU (-7) ESPN
4:00 BOWLING GREEN vs. No. 25 TENNESSEE TENN (-21½) SEC
7:00 No. 15 ARIZONA STATE at TEXAS A&M TAMU (-3½) ESPN
7:30 TEXAS at No. 11 NOTRE DAME ND (-10) NBC
8:00 No. 20 WISCONSIN vs. No. 3 ALABAMA BAMA (-13) ABC
8:00 EASTERN WASHINGTON at No. 7 OREGON N/A PAC12

The main course, obviously, is the 8 p.m. slot featuring two teams that got bullied by Ohio State in the playoffs. (Don't let Alabama start the season by getting dumped...)

My upset pick: Temple over Penn State.

Reminder: Sunday Skull Sessions are on the shelf until April. Tim takes over the 6 a.m. Sunday slot as of tomorrow. Don't cry for me, Internet. Just don't forget the keg of illicit FourLoko on Monday.

MIKE THOMAS: THE MOST IMPORTANT BUCKEYE? I've been a member of the Mike Thomas swagwagon since January 2014. That's long before 98 percent of Buckeye fans, but not good enough to beat Thomas' Uncle Keyshawn.

From CampusRush.com:

"Coaching Mike is what I would imagine coaching a guy like Peyton Manning would be like," Ohio State receivers coach Zach Smith says. "As a coach, if you aren't an expert in your trade, you will get exposed in a second. He demands the best coaching, and his drive is to be the best receiver in America."

[...]

Nothing could have seemed more unlikely just a few years ago, when Thomas was struggling for attention coming as a senior at Taft High. Johnson says that his nephew's only offers were from such remote schools as Oregon State and Oklahoma State. "Lane Kiffin didn't want to pull the trigger at USC and Steve Sarkisian didn't want to at Washington," Johnson says. "Same with Jeff Tedford at Cal. I told them, 'Either I'm stupid or I'm dumb. I don't know you all [aren't] seeing.' "

[...]

Johnson, who starred at USC in 1994 and '95, pleaded with then-Trojans coach Lane Kiffin to recruit Thomas. Kiffin instead chose three highly touted Southern California wideouts (George Farmer, Victor Blackwell and Junior Pomee) who never lived up to their hype. Kiffin, now the Crimson Tide's offensive coordinator, got an up-close look at his mistake in the Sugar Bowl last January, when Thomas torched Bama for seven catches and 66 yards. "See," Johnson says he told Kiffin later, "you would still have your job at USC if you'd have listened."

Thomas' stock couldn't be higher for a guy who has never produced a 100-yard game in Columbus, but he could prove he's worth it by posting his first one in Blacksburg. I have him tabbed for an Amari-Cooper-against-OSU impact that includes a backbreaking catch-and-run TD. Fave this Tweet.

BEATING THE BUCKEYES IN BLACKSBURG. french60wasp, the film study guru of TheKeyPlay.com, put together a ~3,000 word opus on how the Hokies can go about attacking Ohio State (on both sides of the ball):

No matter what look Foster uses, he will make sure that the Hokies have a numerical advantage around the line of scrimmage. The Hokies must contain running back Ezekiel Elliott. Ohio State's national championship run last season was built on Elliott getting downhill and opening things up in the play-action passing game. If the Hokies can contain Elliott, the chances of stopping the Buckeye passing game increase exponentially. The Buckeyes return two preseason All-American offensive lineman, Taylor Decker (SR, 6-8, 315) and Pat Effelin (R-JR, 6-3, 300), as well as two other starters from last year's group. Even though the twitch of the Hokies' defensive line was too much for them to handle last season, Ohio State's front five have a year of experience under their belts. However, Tech is bigger and more experienced at defensive end, have a lighter and determined Luther Maddy back on the inside, and now have more dependable depth at the defensive tackle spot with Woody Baron's improvement during fall camp. The Buckeyes played teams that used the Bear front, yet none had the quick front that the Hokies have. I expect that the Bear front will still cause significant problems on the interior of the Ohio State offensive attack.

[...]

Given the lack of proven pass catchers, Foster will likely place even more emphasis on stopping the run while counting on the Hokies' talented secondary to contain Thomas, Miller and the young Buckeye receivers. Kendall Fuller, Brandon Facyson and Chuck Clark all are proven in man coverage and in run support. Georgia Tech may give Coach Foster the blueprint for the Bear, however recent history shows that when Coach Foster is faced with a terrific running back and teams with one great receiver that lack other options in the passing game, he tends to break tendencies in his secondary. I suspect we may see some of those curveballs against Ohio State.

As of Monday, Greg Stroman is listed as the primary nickel corner. I am very high on Stroman; however the Tech's wide receivers beat him badly on double moves in the spring. Stroman's small stature may make him a liability in run support near the line of scrimmage. Instead of seeing Stroman as the nickel, I expect Foster to have Donovan Riley as his fifth defensive back. Riley has been outstanding in fall camp and has the experience to play multiple roles.

If strategy is your thing, then that's a link worth checking out. My plan of attack is to start by watching Ohio State's interior Slobs. Pat Elflein and Billy Price were swapped last year against Virginia Tech, and I want to see how much push they generate. If the interior Slobs start moving blockers early then it's going to be a long night for Virginia Tech. If they can't... it'll get real real quick in Blacksburg.

THANKS, BUT I'M LOOKING FOR A DIFFERENT CUBAN. One of the many controversial takes I harbor to obfuscate my lack of talent is that I'm not a big "cold cuts" guy. What's the deal with lunchmeat? I don't get it — especially ham. Ham looks like flayed flesh, and why would I want to eat flayed flesh? These are just some of the things I think about when I look at ham.

So put me down as a "hard pass" on this:

I assume the price on that is $43. (Who has $43? Not me.)

HAPPY 50TH TO THAT SONG WE ALL LOVE TO KNOW. Hang On Sloopy turned 50 on Friday, and it wouldn't have happened without the vision of one brave man who refused to accept the status quo's bullshit.

From OSU.edu:

John Tatgenhorst was just a student when he began arranging rock ’n’ roll music for the marching band.

His first was “A Hard Day’s Night.” His most enduring was “Hang on Sloopy.”

His mentor, Charles “Charlie” Spohn, believed in giving School of Music students opportunities to shine in the classroom and on the field. He trusted Tatgenhorst’s sense of what songs would resonate best with crowds in Ohio Stadium.

Tatgenhorst, who became a professional composer for clients including Coca-Cola and Warner Bros., is proud that generations of Buckeyes have embraced “Sloopy.”

“I like it a lot – particularly when the team needs another kick,” he says. “It seems to put adrenaline into the team and crowd somehow.”

Allow me to clue Mr. Tatgenhorst into the game: That "somehow" has a name, and it's "alcohol." Doubt me? Go on and play the first few keys of Hang on Sloopy in your head, and see where your mind's eye takes you.

I don't know where it took you, but I know this: You were smashed, just like everyone else in 1965. Hang On Sloopy is a classic, but the booze unlock its final form.

Props to Tatgenhorse.

THOSE WMDs. Columbus' Kroger bakery brings sweet smells to downtown... How Montana's fun and lethal offense works... Why Chinese drivers intentionally kill the pedestrians they hit... E-books are costing more and selling less... How two mediocre criminals created their own legend.

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