Wednesday Skull Session

By D.J. Byrnes on May 6, 2015 at 4:59 am
Malik Hooker
129 Comments

ICYMI: Jim Tressel definitely got saucy on Cinco de Mayo; the nation's No. 1 punting prospect committed to Ohio State yesterday.

DOLO AND BOSA... AS BASEBALLERS!? Here's an idea produced in Lucifer's most hellacious laboratory: Cardale Jones... but a baseballer.

Dale swears it used to be a thing, and also claims he had Clayton Kershaw-like pitches as a #teen.

From Jeff Svoboda of Scout.com:

“Coach Ginn was like, ‘Come here, come here, throw the football,’ ” he said. “I didn’t play quarterback. I was in the sixth or seventh grade at the time. He was like, ‘Throw the ball, throw the ball.’ He saw something in me I didn’t see in myself at a young age.”

The last time he seriously played baseball, he was in eighth grade, but he clearly had skills.

“I was throwing like 79 mph curveballs,” he said. “I thought baseball was going to be it for me, but football came out of nowhere.”

I knew Coach Ginn was a lifeline to 12 during a rough time in his life... but I didn't know things were that rough.

I tremble at the thought of Irondale subjugated to the "unwritten rules" of baseball's stodgy ruling and chattering classes, but I will confess the idea of him mauling a fool for rushing the mound delights me.

Yet, Airdale wasn't the only impressionable youth under baseball's gypsy spell. Shoutout to Joey Bosa's shitty middle school baseball team:

“I was on such a horrible team my seventh grade year that I played tennis just so I wouldn’t have to play baseball because I hated my team so much,” [Bosa] said.

I think even baseball jihadists would concede tennis is a much better sport for developing defensive end to play. We owe those kids a tip of the cap.

PRYOR RELEASED. It's a cold world, man. Here's Terrelle Pryor on Monday:

And then yesterday, from NFL.com's Mark Sessler:

The Chiefs announced on Tuesday that they have released the fifth-year quarterback less than four months after signing with Kansas City.

Pryor is no guarantee to find another job. Completing just 56.3 percent of his throws over 16 appearances in Oakland, the former Ohio State star is a backup project at best. After fizzling out with the Raiders, Seahawks and Chiefs, the shine is off this athletic specimen with questionable arm talent.

[...]

As for landing spots: The 49ers and Colts have just two quarterbacks, but they've already passed on plenty of chances to sign Pryor before.

I hope Pryor catches on as another team, but I wouldn't bet on it. Judging by his Instagram, Pryor was an ace representative of the Chiefs, and I think it's clear he's grown up since his time in Columbus.

I hope Ohio State fans let him come home. It's been time. Plus, without Pryor and Tatgate, we don't get Urban Meyer as Ohio State coach. (Now, if only we could've watched Meyer and Pryor on the same team.)

THE SADDEST HUMBLEBRAG. I could sit here and roast this picture for six paragraphs, but none of it would be as funny as the actual picture/caption:

Watching Penn State get dumped in primetime won't be the crown jewel of the 2015 regular season, but it will still glisten (though never as much as the historically prestigious Pinstripe Bowl trophy).

EGW LEARNS A HARD LESSON. This would not be a fun epiphany to have while running in a track meet:

In his youth, Glover-Williams breezed by the true lesson here: Never eat Taco Bell. It's not even real food, mate.

THOSE WMDs. Herman: You can't build a culture by being Mr. Nice Coach... Hardworking raccoons actually enjoy doing laundry... The Onion is not a joke... When You Are Ready To Have A Serious Conversation About Green Lantern, You Have My E-Mail Address... America’s oldest veteran celebrates 109th birthday with milkshakes and cigars... ずっと見てるよ.

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