Ebola Isn't In Columbus

August 5, 2014 at 12:47p    by DJ Byrnes    
EBOLA [Flickr]

UPDATE (12:55): We're not going to die of Ebola just yet, you guys.

Ebola has maybe, quite possibly, found its way to Columbus:

 Does this mean we're all going to die?

Trick question. We're already dying.

(Here's why you shouldn't freak out about Ebola patients in the US.)


Earle's picture

Today's wide-scale panic and looting have been cancelled.  We now return you to your regular programming.

You're gonna miss me when I'm gone.

+6 HS
Habu71's picture

Great, any suggestions on what I do with this unused molitov cocktail now?

+2 HS
Earle's picture

Is it lit?

You're gonna miss me when I'm gone.

+4 HS
BucksfanXC's picture

This is time sensitive. Please respond soon or ignore.

“Any time you give a man something he doesn't earn, you cheapen him. Our kids earn what they get, and that includes respect.”  - Woody

+3 HS
Earle's picture

How fast can you get to Ann Arbor?

You're gonna miss me when I'm gone.

+6 HS
Habu71's picture

It was, but the urgency of the situation required that I move rather quickly. So, I tossed it into a dumpster in ann arbor, nobody even seemed to notice.

Edit: Sorry, I failed to notice the other AA reference before mine. Great minds...

+4 HS
buckeyeotaku's picture

it may have been overshadowed by the dumpster fire called *ichigan football

We don't give a damn for the whole state of Bichigan

+4 HS
Oyster's picture

(Here's why you shouldn't freak out about Ebola patients in the US.)

If it's so easy to contain, how come two Americans contracted it then? 

Just because you are paranoid doesn't mean the PGA is out to get you.

Scarlet_Lutefisk's picture

Because they were treating people with the disease for months on end in a non-developed country.

+9 HS
Oyster's picture

But they had their protective gear on, which was from a developed country.  The best gear in the world, yet they still got it.  That is my point, it is not as simple as the article portrays it to be.

Just because you are paranoid doesn't mean the PGA is out to get you.

Scarlet_Lutefisk's picture

They're wearing tyvek jumpers & basic respirators. The 'best' gear in the world consists of positive pressure oversuits with their own air supply. Entries contain airlocks that alternate chemical showers, UV radiation & vacuum to kill any potential microbes. in Liberia they're hosing off their boots & aprons in dirt lots and letting them dry outdoors.



No they're not wearing state of the art PPE. Even if they were they're still working long hours in primitive conditions dealing with hundreds of patients, many of whom are not uncooperative. It's easy to screw up under those conditions.

BierStube's picture

Ebola has UM colors ... who'd of thunk.

"No matter where you go, there you are." B. Banzai

+11 HS
Phillips.449's picture

Is it possible that Ebola is UM are the same entity, Much like Uncle9er and all of his alter egos? Look at the symptoms Ebola causes.  I get many of the same symptoms when I think of UM

Symptoms of Ebola HF typically include:

Headache. <------
Joint and muscle aches.
Diarrhea. <------
Stomach pain. <------
Lack of appetite. <----

+4 HS
Buckeyevstheworld's picture

Perfectly describes Mgo during the Akron game.

"YOLO" = I'm about to do something extremely ignorant/stupid & I need an excuse to do it.

cinserious's picture

At first glance I thought the picture was some kind of new cannabis strain with blue hairs.

One day I will valiantly become a political prisoner of 11W jail.

+1 HS
MN Buckeye's picture

While I am sure that the image is a color-coded electron micrograph, whomever added the colors must have had MI in mind.

11UrbzAndSpices's picture

Technically, the headline should read something like "No one in Columbus has tested positive for Ebola." You can't say definitively that there is not even one single Ebola organism floating around. You've got to get these things right if you ever want to be a reporter or a journalist.

Troll hunter

-2 HS
ToetotheFace's picture

Not true, Ebola doesn't transmit through air(only through body fluids) or survive well outside of the body. So it is highly unlikely that it is present at all in Columbus, which would take somebody who is infected coming in to the city. So the title is completely fine.

+2 HS
DJ Byrnes's picture

rack 'em urbz

Californian by birth, Marionaire by the Grace of President Warren G. Harding.