$25 Million Sexual Harassment Lawsuit Against Johnny Football is Insane, Likely Fake

May 23, 2014 at 10:52a    by DJ Byrnes    
25 Comments

Do you enjoy reading the ramblings of a person completely unhinged from reality? Then buddy, do I have the lawsuit for you.

Johnny Manziel was sued today for alleged sexual harassment in a Florida court. Manziel's agent is claiming it's fake, and after reading the filing, there's really no reason to doubt him.

Trigger warning: Adult languages and imagery peddled by an absolutely crazy person is ahead.

Samantha Schacher v Johnny Manziel

I guess, to be fair to the plaintiff, who amongst us hasn't fantasized about a ménage à trois with Doctor Phil?


Comments

blocko330's picture

I hate the SEC

“Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.”

- TruthTeller

-1 HS
OSUStu's picture

Absolute gold.  But...this is, at most, half true.

If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.  ~ Bruce Lee

aphill89's picture

left out at the end: Roll Damn Tide.

"The will to win is not as important as the will to prepare to win." - Wayne Woodrow Hayes 

+5 HS
Nappy's picture

Fantastic!

Fan of bacon since 1981

BierStube's picture

Is this the same Samantha Schacher that is on the Dr Drew show?

 

"No matter where you go, there you are." B. Banzai

+4 HS
Hovenaut's picture

No idea who that is, but the woman you've posted here is gorgeous. Wow.

bodast67's picture

No, I think it's this one ! 

 

 

 

     " I hope when I die, I die laughing"...                

mobboss1984's picture

This can't be real at all

Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.
Bruce Lee
 

toad1204's picture

Its probably just fantasy...

Nothing like dancing on the field in 02... 

Buckeye in Illini country's picture
But ...

Columbus to Pasadena: 35 hours.  We're on a road trip through the desert looking for strippers and cocaine... and Rose Bowl wins!

+3 HS
hit_the_couch's picture

White girls is crazy; who doesn't want a 3some with Dr. Drew? Ok maybe not now, but back when he was on MTV with Adam Carolla. I think that was MTV that still played videos circa some time ago.

And then I told her...i'm no weatherman, but tonight's forecast is calling for several inches!

-1 HS
Unky Buck's picture

What are these videos on TV of which you speak? Do you mean YouTube? Is this like the myth of the phone booth?

...

Ethos's picture

I think it's similar to that silly DVD myth.  Everybody knows movies are on Blue Ray or streaming.

"What do you need water for, Sunshine?!" - Coach Coombs, if you don't love this man, you have no soul.

jpbuckeye's picture

4.5 inches?

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

 

Even though bogus, he will be getting a good razzing on that note.

BierStube's picture

Is it me .. or does Johnny have vampire teeth??

"No matter where you go, there you are." B. Banzai

Urban Nation Army's picture

 

Bet you can't say "Bert Bielma is a bumbling buffoon" five times fast.

Whoa Nellie's picture

Trivisonno looks like a serial filer, or serial killer, or serial something. 

“Don’t fear criticism. The stands are full of critics. They play no ball. They fight no fights. They make no mistakes because they attempt nothing. Down on the field are the doers, they make mistakes because they attempt many things.”

WiliestBuckeye's picture

I got about halfway through the lawsuit before checking to make sure that this wasn't a Ginter article. After seeing this wasn't the case and being assured it was a real lawsuit, I am left wondering how many other lawsuits out there are as funny as this one. Whoever read that thing when it was first filled must of been in tears. There are probably many other lawsuits just as hilarious too, which makes it just that much better. Nice find.

"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment."

skid21's picture

I guess, to be fair to the plaintiff, who amongst us hasn't fantasized about a ménage à trois with Doctor Phil?

Dr. Phil is no Dr. Drew. One is a joke and the other is a bigger joke.

ScarletGray43157's picture

No wonder the court system is backlogged.  

In old Ohio there's a team that's known throughout the land...

wilkins0802's picture

When I read the part about Skype, this is what I imagine, haha!

 

ShowThemOhiosHere's picture

I started to lose it when the plaintiff alleged that Manziel has a small dick.  I really lost it at the "Long John Silver" comment.  One of the most hilarious things I've ever read.  It would take a SICK mind to make up allegations like this!  I imagine the filer actually does the same things that he alleges...and probably has a small dick. 

 

Class of 2010.

Knarcisi's picture

We knew he was a real hot dog, but that's a little much.