The Big Ten as Simpsons Characters

By Jason Priestas on March 14, 2013 at 11:45a

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Ralph Wiggum as the Gopher fan is freaking priceless!
I found a moonrock in my nose!

"Sherman ran an option play right through the south" - Greatest Civil War analogy EVER.

dumpus's picture

Barney = Brady Hoke.
why is this not reflected here?  pointless.

steensn's picture

I dont think it was about coaches but the universities themselves.

sharks's picture

I'd have went with Professor Frink for NWestern, but no real complaints.

Have to imagine the SEC version will all be Cletus the Slack Jawed Yokel

A man got to have a code...

penult's picture

I think Alabama would get dibs on Cletus.

Brutus's picture

Some folk'll never eat a skunk, but then again some folk'll......

dumpus's picture

oh, and Sideshow Bob should be sporting the blue and white...not Moe. 

frogbaby236's picture

We should have been Rainier Wolfcastle, Rutgers should have been Fat Tony, Nebraska should have been Cleetus.

BuckeyeW's picture

Good concept, execution is meh. It's Simpsons characters but none from the actual Simpsons family (aside from Grandpa). Huh?

penult's picture

Where can I get that red suit jacket with a buckeye leaf on the sleeve?

Gametime's picture

This is pretty damn cool.

Between goals and achievement is discipline and consistency. That fire you have inside to do whatever you love is placed there by God. Now go claim it. ~ Denzel Washington

Dean's picture

Embiggen - I never heard that word until I became an Ohio State fan...
Also... "AIRBHG? No es bueno..."

AndyVance's picture

Angry Iowa Running-Back-Hating God.
Dear Staff: This should probably be added to the 11W lingo page...

Nicholas Jervey's picture

That sounds like a great thing to submit as site feedback, but be advised that Angry Iowa Running Back Hating God originated from MGoBlog. I'm the guy who created the Urban Dictionary entry for AIRBHG, so certain people might be receptive to that feedback.

Ceci n'est pas une signature.

AndyVance's picture

To quote Johnny Carson, "I did not know that." Fascinating backstory...

Nicholas Jervey's picture

To quote Paul Harvey, "and now... you know the rest of the story."

Ceci n'est pas une signature.

AndyVance's picture

Have I ever mentioned how much I love Paul Harvey?

Dean's picture

I know, I was channeling the Iowa Hawkeye Bumblebee Man.  I suppose it should've been "No me gusta."
As for embiggen, since nobody else will: "I wonder why not? It's a perfectly cromulent word."  Sigh.

Grayskullsession's picture

Purdue as Millhouse just seems so right.

"if irony were made of strawberries, we' d all be drinking a lot of smoothies right now."

Michael Citro's picture

They really nailed it with that one.

Denny's picture

Everything is comin' up Milhouse


BrewstersMillions's picture

I guess I'm just going to take it upon myself to explain these-any long term fan of the Simpsons should get all of these, but I'll give it a go.
Bumble Bee Man as Iowa-Its easy to take the color scheme here but I'm going to say this has more to do with a line between Bumble Bee Man's series long misfortune and Iowa's Ferentz-era long blood feud with AIRBHG. Despite several attempts to fix the problem, Iowa always finds itself quoting the Bumble Bee man at some point in the year. "Ay! No Me Gusta!"
Disco Stu as Indiana-Like the dead music Stu loves so much, Indiana hasn't really been relevant for a really long time. They take their hoops so cereal, yet only this year (and last to a lesser extent) have they really mattered. Until Dwight Schrute 2 got there, it appeared that Indiana was destined for Disco level irrelevance.
Martin as Illinois-This one might be the best in the bunch. Few things are more annoying than the Martin-like way Illinois fans can't wait to tell you how smart they are. In the same vein, most Illinois football players physically resemble the pudgy little book worm.
Barney as Wisconsin-Could have gone another route here, Homer maybe, but few Simpsons characters would epitomize the drunkenness that is so central to Bucky's fandom's identity. Plus-he just looks like a Badger fan doesn't he?
Rainier Wolfcastle as Nebraska-this one had be scratching my head a little but if I had to venture a guess-The stern, do it, do it now attitude Mr. Wolfcastle portrays in his movies seems like an attitude to fine folks in corn country would have as well.
The Tortoise as Maryland. This one is easy on the surface too, Turtles\Terapins...right? Also-This character was a figment of Homer's imagination. Maryland's chances of impacting the Big Ten are equally fictitious.
Fat Tony as Ohio State-I would have gone Dr. Hibbert on this one. The way he just easily laughs off everything anyone suggests to him really reminds me of the way I feel as an OSU fan when people take their pot shots at us. Alas-Its Fat Tony-reputed crime boss who does little to hide his affiliations to organized crime-supposedly mirroring the way Ohio State does little to mask their disdain for the way the rest of the Big Ten does business. I can see it, I still like the Dr. better.
Smithers as Michigan State\Burns as Michigan. These have to work together. I would have taken the Bart\Lisa angle myself given their constant competition but that means you are making one of those schools Bart, and people like Bart, but no one likes the Mitten State schools. Here, they are going with the idea that pure evil Burns mimmicks the pure evil that is Michigan and his lap dog is their lapdog-Michigan State Smithers. I know Sparty fans will be quick to point out recent history but lets not be those guys-Michigan owns those fools.
Moe as Penn State-Just like Moe is stuck and married to the idea that his old dingy bar is a way to make a living, Penn State is stuck and married to the idea that their program wins with integrity and is above any scrutinity lobbed its direction....I don't know, this one is a reach and I just wanted to take a pot shot at Penn State.
Northwestern as Blue Haired Lawyer-He's a nerd. They are nerds. This one writes itself.
Grandpa Simpson as Rutgers-A lot of Simpsons fans can probably conjure up a quote Grandpa Simpson has about the old times-wearing the twine as a belt because that was the fashion of the time is my personal favorite. Grandpa is an old man. Rutgers is the oldest football program in the Big Ten.
**Got out of order a little, sorry**
Ralph as Minnesota. Anyone who watched the Illinois\Minny game and saw the events that lead to the game winning shot can see why this one fits so well. Minnesota is so bad at the major sports that you can't even be mad at them-you just have to laugh because they don't know any better. Much the way Ralph's antics can't even be made fun of-just enjoyed for their stupidity.
Millhouse as Purdue.....I'm totally out of gas here guys. I get it, but can't explain it. So if you want to take a crack at it-knock yourselves out.

hodge's picture

Millhouse's ever-fruitless pursuit of Lisa mimics Purdue's ever-fruitless pursuit of greatness at anything other than engineering alumni.

AndyVance's picture

...and because you can't imagine the storyline without him, although nothing good will ever come of his quasi-annoying annals.

DetroitBuckeye's picture

I actually see the Fat Tony reference as a rip on Ohio State.

Denny's picture

From now on I'm going to refer to Illinois as "Team Discovery Channel!!"


captain obvious's picture

Got the SEC correct

I'm a friend of thunder is it any wonder lightning strikes me

AndyVance's picture

Vanderbilt and 'Bama were pretty awesome given the theme...

Bucksfan's picture

The SECletus one was funny at least.