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What are Brady Hoke and Mark Dantonio Talking About?

Brady Hoke and Mark Dantonio, best buds, taking in a game at the Breslin

What's Brady Hoke saying? What is Mark Dantonio thinking? America needs to know!

Leave a comment with your best caption for this photo. If your comment ends up with the most upvotes by Thursday, Feb. 14 at noon ET, you'll get your choice of a tee from Eleven Warriors Dry Goods.

Contest rules: Must be 18 or older and funny.

Comments

cbusbuckeye's picture
cbusbuckeye on 12 Feb 2013 - 10:35pm #

"Dinner date at Golden Corral later? I'll buy!"

DLB1276's picture
DLB1276 on 12 Feb 2013 - 10:36pm #

Come on, rub my belly.

Set your avi
Knarcisi on 12 Feb 2013 - 10:37pm #

"whaddya say you and me go kick the shit out of Meyer?"

Mi.Buckeye's picture
Mi.Buckeye on 12 Feb 2013 - 10:38pm #

Can you believe this Urban Meyer fellow, he's recruiting all these kids from Michigan and their committing to him. Who are we going to get to commit to us?

 

Urbanmania's picture
Urbanmania on 12 Feb 2013 - 10:38pm #

Please be joking about trying out for a Chippendales position.

b_pbucksfans's picture
b_pbucksfans on 13 Feb 2013 - 12:05am #

Urbanmania's picture
Urbanmania on 13 Feb 2013 - 12:32am #

Hahaha exactly!!! Nice find!

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chethammer on 12 Feb 2013 - 10:39pm #

I fed myself more than I fed Denard this year.  I put on some serious poundage!

Hovenaut's picture
Hovenaut on 12 Feb 2013 - 10:39pm #

"I'm going for a chili dog, you want any nachos or anything?"

"Success - it's what you do with what you got" - Woody Hayes

Alex Boones Liver's picture
Alex Boones Liver on 12 Feb 2013 - 10:39pm #

"You know we are all left to fight for second place right?"

 

Set your avi
Turtlebuster on 12 Feb 2013 - 10:40pm #

So....i heard about this turtle...

DJRoss926's picture
DJRoss926 on 12 Feb 2013 - 10:40pm #

"Matt Foley has really let himself go."

The Vest-er's picture
The Vest-er on 12 Feb 2013 - 10:41pm #

BH- "You got the rest of that cow where that jacket came from?"

MD- {inner monologue} If he gets drool on this thing, he's getting the cleaning bill.

Fundamentals are a crutch for the talentless.

almurray10's picture
almurray10 on 12 Feb 2013 - 10:42pm #

"10 bucks says you can't guess how many donuts I have stashed on me right now!"

Hoody Wayes's picture
Hoody Wayes on 12 Feb 2013 - 10:42pm #

"Don't forget who told'ya to buy that Eleven Warriors stock!"

Alex Boones Liver's picture
Alex Boones Liver on 12 Feb 2013 - 10:43pm #

"Do you know if you put your ear to my navel you can hear Hang on Sloopy?"

Culp's Freaking Hill's picture
Culp's Freaking Hill on 12 Feb 2013 - 10:44pm #

"I just don't know, Mike, it just seems like if I don't eat fast food at least once a day, I'm just not going to have a good day."

Twitter: @conquestnorman

osu_chris's picture
osu_chris on 12 Feb 2013 - 10:46pm #

Hoke: "Did you see what I wrote about Shelley Meyer in the Men's room? That oughta show him who's boss."

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gobucks5413 on 12 Feb 2013 - 10:44pm #

Hey there Brady...looks like you accidentally wore Denards shirt...

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gbdawg on 12 Feb 2013 - 10:44pm #

You ate how many cheeseburgers?

JeffCoBuck's picture
JeffCoBuck on 12 Feb 2013 - 10:45pm #

"And then I said, 'Speed is overrated!'"

Set your avi
Matt F on 12 Feb 2013 - 10:46pm #

MD:  "You know what I love about college athletes?  I keep gettin' older, and they keep staying the same age"

BH:  "Cheeseburger"

Chorkman's picture
Chorkman on 12 Feb 2013 - 10:46pm #

"Speed IS overrated, right?!?!"  "Sure Brady, whatever."

Brady Hoke is a Michigan MEN huh?  Yep, thought so.

TheBuckeyeBoard's picture
TheBuckeyeBoard on 12 Feb 2013 - 10:47pm #

Hoke, "Hey Mark, uhhh...that's my wife right there...ummm...you think Urban can flip her?"

"I have yet to be in a game where the most prepared team didn't win." -Coach Urban Meyer

Set your avi
CRAFTFORTHESTEAL on 12 Feb 2013 - 10:48pm #

Hoke: Mark, hey how's it going man, looks like a good matchup this evening. 

Mark: God you are pathetic, and put on some deodorant. You smell like a heavily used out house, if that camera wasn't on us, we would not be having this convo.

 

Pay It Forward!

Hovenaut's picture
Hovenaut on 12 Feb 2013 - 10:49pm #

"Well I tell you MD, snacking's not a sport, its a way of life. It's no hobby. It's a way of looking at that buffet and saying 'Hey Bud, let's party!'....Where'd you get this jacket?"

"Success - it's what you do with what you got" - Woody Hayes

Baroclinicity's picture
Baroclinicity on 12 Feb 2013 - 10:51pm #

BH:  "Seriously, you gotta call Ohio State 'Ohio'... it's hysterical!"

MD:  "Dumb ass."

LouGroza's picture
LouGroza on 13 Feb 2013 - 11:31am #

Funny and very possibly factual.

GoBucks917's picture
GoBucks917 on 12 Feb 2013 - 10:50pm #

Hoke: Hear the rumor Chick-Fil-A might be opening on Sundays now?

dharmabuckeye's picture
dharmabuckeye on 12 Feb 2013 - 10:50pm #

Hoke: 'Hey man, I've lost some weight since the season ended'...

Dantonio: 'Riiiightttt'

MotownBuck's picture
MotownBuck on 12 Feb 2013 - 10:52pm #

"So I tells Urban, look - take the recruits. leave the Cannoli."

Trotwood-Madison. Once a Ram, Always a Ram.

M Man's picture
M Man on 12 Feb 2013 - 10:55pm #

Hoke:  "I've seen zombies on tv, but this is the first time I've met one.  Put 'er there..."

ohiowhitesnake's picture
ohiowhitesnake on 12 Feb 2013 - 10:55pm #

Nice leather jacket. Where's the rest of the cow, I'm starving!

MotownBuck's picture
MotownBuck on 12 Feb 2013 - 10:57pm #

BH: So when are these folks going to learn that me, you and Urb all Ohio guys and that it's all going according to plan?

 

MD: Sooooon ... 

Trotwood-Madison. Once a Ram, Always a Ram.

Oakland Buckeye's picture
Oakland Buckeye on 12 Feb 2013 - 10:57pm #

Hoke: "Rub my belt stretcher & I'll grant you 3 wishes, and yes, all 3 can be the Urban leaves Ohio"

jestertcf's picture
jestertcf on 12 Feb 2013 - 10:58pm #

and then i said "oh yeah?? well I bet I can fit THREE pancakes in my mouth."

~Because we couldn't go for three~

Set your avi
NEB_Buck on 12 Feb 2013 - 10:58pm #

"Speaking of beastiality... I have this move I call the "HOKEy Pokey".

Set your avi
Knarcisi on 12 Feb 2013 - 10:58pm #

Mark, I've gotta tell ya, I haven't been this happy since ...

luckynutz's picture
luckynutz on 12 Feb 2013 - 11:04pm #

"I see you eyeing that hot dog vendor mark. And that's a bad idea bro. No one eats bradys hot dogs!"

ShadyBuckeye's picture
ShadyBuckeye on 12 Feb 2013 - 11:05pm #

Hoke: Hey hey hey shhh... Mike come here for a quick second! Wonn' know what I did? I had one of our guys pick meyer up at the airport and he's driving him in circles around East lansing!

                      MD: This recruit is all ours!

gravey's picture
gravey on 12 Feb 2013 - 11:05pm #

Dantonio: These cheerleaders are somethin' else.

Hoke:  I like pancakes.

BuckeyeRob's picture
BuckeyeRob on 12 Feb 2013 - 11:05pm #

Hoke - "How much would it cost for you to drink kool-aid out of my belly button?"

Rob Tackett

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porkchopexpress on 12 Feb 2013 - 11:06pm #

Hoke: "Waddya say, loser treats the winner to a Crave Case after the game?"

Dantonio: I'm going nowhere with this guy. He smells like Ke$ha looks

causeicouldntgo43's picture
causeicouldntgo43 on 12 Feb 2013 - 11:08pm #

Did you see that new OSU logo? What were they thinking? Yea, even Ramzy thinks it's lame. Those OH-IO losers!

causeicouldntgo43's picture
causeicouldntgo43 on 13 Feb 2013 - 9:51am #

This was an attempt to show how the only thing these guys can criticize OSU on is the new logo. They can't beat us, so all they can do is mock our new logo. They have been reduced to trivialization. I believe most of of the people on this site don't much care for the "new" logo either.

Carry on....

Set your avi
buckeye20 on 12 Feb 2013 - 11:09pm #

Did you see my titties bouncin' just now Mark?

causeicouldntgo43's picture
causeicouldntgo43 on 12 Feb 2013 - 11:09pm #

Speed kills? My ass. I'll take a punter any day!

causeicouldntgo43's picture
causeicouldntgo43 on 12 Feb 2013 - 11:10pm #

I just got AJ McCarron's mom's autograph - can you believe it?

Mi.Buckeye's picture
Mi.Buckeye on 12 Feb 2013 - 11:12pm #

Hoke: Ihop has all you can eat pancakes, what are we waiting for?

Set your avi
Knarcisi on 12 Feb 2013 - 11:13pm #

"Get in my belly !!!"

causeicouldntgo43's picture
causeicouldntgo43 on 12 Feb 2013 - 11:15pm #

 How about I trade you one of my 4 star recruits for those sweet looking nachos?

USMC11917's picture
USMC11917 on 12 Feb 2013 - 11:15pm #

"How much longer do I have to laugh at this idiots jokes before he gets hungry and leaves me alone for a buffet?" - /end inner dialogue

Set your avi
lnxbz on 12 Feb 2013 - 11:19pm #

"It's easy, Hoke, we kill the Urban"

"If it's so easy, then why haven't you done it?"

"Well, we had a Gentlemen's agreement"

brglr14's picture
brglr14 on 12 Feb 2013 - 11:16pm #

harry and lloyd all grown up.

I dont know karate but i do know crazy and i'm not afraid to use it.
                           &amp

brglr14's picture
brglr14 on 12 Feb 2013 - 11:17pm #

i ve got a baby in here and its name is urban.

I dont know karate but i do know crazy and i'm not afraid to use it.
                           &amp

BuckeyeNation's picture
BuckeyeNation on 12 Feb 2013 - 11:18pm #

Dantonio: Hey Brady, check out those thighs on that chick!

Hoke: Damn it Mark... I told you not to be bringing up food anytime soon. The concession stands won't re-open until halftime.

Dantonio: *sigh* smh, dumb ass michigan men!

dubjayfootball90's picture
dubjayfootball90 on 12 Feb 2013 - 11:18pm #

Dantonio: "I just put a whoopi cushion on Meyer's seat to get back at him for stealing my recruits. Look at him, he is about to sit on it."

 

Hoke: "You are a genious. I have been trying to get back at him for not letting me cross the 50 in the second half."

Seabass1974's picture
Seabass1974 on 12 Feb 2013 - 11:21pm #

"Kings play chess on fine glass stools."

The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender. - Woody Hayes

dubjayfootball90's picture
dubjayfootball90 on 12 Feb 2013 - 11:27pm #

Hoke: "Rats live on no evil star. Its the same forwards as it is backwards. Its amazing, just blows my mind, man. You know?"

Dantonio: (out the side of his mouth) "Holy hell this guy is an idiot"

Set your avi
@ndyBetz on 12 Feb 2013 - 11:33pm #

Hoke: I'm not Fat Tuesday I'm big boned!

We didn't land on 11w. 11w landed on us!
8 great years at tOSU and no I'm not a doctor. They just kept letting me get football tickets.

AngelHeartsBuckeyes's picture
AngelHeartsBuckeyes on 12 Feb 2013 - 11:34pm #

I got that Meyer dude right where we want him. Right here. That's right. I ate him.

Buckeye born and bred. Buckeye til I'm dead.

jkrk's picture
jkrk on 12 Feb 2013 - 11:35pm #

Hoke: MEEEEEEEEEEECHIGAN!

Dantonio: Can't believe I wasted my annual smile at a basketball game.

jfrank373's picture
jfrank373 on 12 Feb 2013 - 11:38pm #

We can always try to beat Ohio in basketball, right? Oh wait...

Unky Buck's picture
Unky Buck on 12 Feb 2013 - 11:39pm #

No, seriously, I ate the WHOLE wheel of cheese. I haven't pooped in 5 days.

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KillerNut on 12 Feb 2013 - 11:41pm #

Hoke: I'll tell you what Mr. Dantoneeooh, you buy me some Nachos and you can have all the Michigan recruits Urban doesn't take to Ohio

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740 on 12 Feb 2013 - 11:41pm #

"have you seen nebraska's basketball team?"

d1145fresh's picture
d1145fresh on 12 Feb 2013 - 11:42pm #

Only two more okay seasons and we'll get SEC job offers too. 

ohiowhitesnake's picture
ohiowhitesnake on 12 Feb 2013 - 11:42pm #

Dantonio "hey little brother"

Hoke "herp derp I'm big brother right?"

Set your avi
740 on 12 Feb 2013 - 11:44pm #

"haha title IX haha"

skiehl's picture
skiehl on 12 Feb 2013 - 11:44pm #

Go away manbearpig thing

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wibuckeye on 12 Feb 2013 - 11:45pm #

Hoke " Pull my finger"

Hoke "I'm confused, if I call you Michigan, who are we?"

WIBUCKEYE

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btalbert25 on 12 Feb 2013 - 11:48pm #

Mark! Mark! MARK!!!!! Can I have your ticket stub? MSU Scored 70, that means FREE TACOS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Scott's picture
Scott on 12 Feb 2013 - 11:52pm #

"We are so f*cked."

Gordon Gee's signature is on my diploma. I'm proud of that. Class of 2008

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btalbert25 on 12 Feb 2013 - 11:54pm #

Jaba:   Womp wa womp wa wa womp (in his finest Charlie Brown Teacher Voice)

Dantonio:  (laughing as he thinks to himself) How the fuck am I the one who had a heart attack????

Go8uck5's picture
Go8uck5 on 13 Feb 2013 - 12:03am #

Urban is really kicking our @$$, shouldn't we be on the phone?

Go8uck5!

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740 on 13 Feb 2013 - 12:04am #

brady: "mark, you DOGGGG! is that real LEATHER?"

mark: "it puts the lotion on its skin, or it gets the hose again. it puts the lotion on its skin, or it gets the hose again."

ShowThemOhiosHere's picture
ShowThemOhiosHere on 13 Feb 2013 - 12:05am #

Dantonio laughing at the potential jokes coming into his brain when Hoke says "speed is overrated"

Class of 2010.

Grant Edgell's picture
Grant Edgell on 13 Feb 2013 - 12:05am #

Hoke: "We're both going to beat Ohio this year, little buddy. Trust me. Here, shake on it."

Dantonio: [Ohhhhhhhhhhhh GOD this guy is a douche. Keep smiling to avoid Eleven Warriors running some damn caption contest on a photo op.]

OSUAndy07's picture
OSUAndy07 on 13 Feb 2013 - 12:06am #

I didn't know Dantonio smiles

"But I'm tryin' Ringo. I'm tryin', real hard, to be the shepherd"

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porkchopexpress on 13 Feb 2013 - 12:16am #

Hoke: "If you had to pick, who would you rather be...the Cookie Monster or the Hamburglar?"

Dantonio: If I make a pick it'll only start an argument.  When does this game start?

gosolow2000's picture
gosolow2000 on 13 Feb 2013 - 12:23am #

Mark: So, you wanna split a pizza?

Brady: What are you gonna eat then ?

bigbadbuck's picture
bigbadbuck on 13 Feb 2013 - 12:28am #

Brady: There once was a man from Nantucket, who had a cannoli so long he could suck it

 Dantonio: You said cannoli

Battles are sometimes won by generals; wars are nearly always won by sergeants and privates. Football is no different, the guys down in the trenches win the games, not the coach.            

nightmuse's picture
nightmuse on 13 Feb 2013 - 12:33am #

Hoke: So this is what it feels like to have both our teams ranked in the Top 10!

TheShookster's picture
TheShookster on 13 Feb 2013 - 12:42am #

Dantonio: Hey is that AJ McCarron's girlfriend over there?

Hoke: Hmmm? What about McDonalds?

hodge's picture
hodge on 13 Feb 2013 - 12:50am #

Brady Hoke and Mark Dantonio are not talking about anything.  Dantonio has clearly caught the gaze of the person snapping this photo, and his forced smile is barely containing the insatiable bloodlust that is now coursing through his veins at the mere idea that this photograph could suggest that he and Hoke are anything but mortal enemies.  The photographer's whereabouts are currently unknown, through the words "DIE YUPPIE SCUM" have been discovered on a nearby dumpster--written in blood; poor bastard.  Rumors are abound, but people have reported seeing a naked man in his mid-fifties running around campus with a chainsaw.

Frankly, Hoke's just relieved that he's avoided eye contact with the guy.  It's rumoured that the "Sparty" statue that adorns MSU's campus was actually a mascot that stared directly into Dantonio's soulless eyes.

Set your avi
Knarcisi on 13 Feb 2013 - 12:47am #

"hiya Mark.  Amazing, huh?  Michigan. Where Ohio men like us go to compete for the scraps".

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Miami of Brohio on 13 Feb 2013 - 12:47am #

I cant remember how our divisions are set up either

Hogan1's picture
Hogan1 on 13 Feb 2013 - 12:56am #

Brady Hoke telling Dantonio hes going on a diet.

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Knarcisi on 13 Feb 2013 - 12:58am #

"this isn't a bald spot forming on my head.  I've been rooting around under the seats for popcorn"

old_rasputin's picture
old_rasputin on 13 Feb 2013 - 1:00am #

"Remember that one time when we kicked Bert Beilema out of Wisconsin?"

"I think you mean Barry Alvarez"

"Nah, pretty sure his name was Bert"

"We hate to lose, but when we do, rest assured we'll be back, and someone will pay the price." Coach Hayes

hodge's picture
hodge on 13 Feb 2013 - 1:04am #

Hoke: "Man, I'm so hungry...I could eat my arm."

Dantonio: "Human flesh is quite tough, especially the arms.  You need to par-boil those f*ckers for at least a day before finishing them in the saute.  Reminds me of a time a census taker tried to quantify me, I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti."

Hoke: "See, I'm more of an Arbor Mist man, myself."

thePhilipJFry's picture
thePhilipJFry on 13 Feb 2013 - 1:04am #

BH:  I just read on Wikipedia that Ohio State is going independent in football NEXT SEASON!

MD:  Jesus, you'll believe anything you fat f@ck.

Set your avi
Knarcisi on 13 Feb 2013 - 1:08am #

MD ... Does he really think I think he reads?  More like ... Ate an encyclopedia. 

UrbanCulture's picture
UrbanCulture on 13 Feb 2013 - 1:08am #

Hoke: "Hey Mark, Guess what I'm giving up for Lent?"

Mark: "Your in-game coaching?...O wait."

kevinfrenchfry's picture
kevinfrenchfry on 13 Feb 2013 - 10:42am #

haha, has to be one of the top 5 captions

OurHonorDefend09's picture
OurHonorDefend09 on 13 Feb 2013 - 1:12am #

"If you can't beat him [Urban], kill him."

Don't give up... Don't ever give up.

dumpus's picture
dumpus on 13 Feb 2013 - 1:47am #

"I just met you,

and my name's Brady.

I'm just fat,

Its not a baby."

Bucks43201's picture
Bucks43201 on 13 Feb 2013 - 2:11am #

Hoke, (about to shake Dantonio's hand): "Put 'er there, little brother!"

Dantonio, (looking away & embarassed for this stranger talking to him): "Why the hell does this Artie Lange  look-alike think we're related?"

"You win with people." - Woody Hayes

Hockey Buck's picture
Hockey Buck on 13 Feb 2013 - 1:53am #

Just think. With playdough, er playboy Bret gone, all the bitches our ours!

UrbanWoodrowEarlTressel's picture
UrbanWoodrowEar... on 13 Feb 2013 - 1:54am #

BH: "hey bro!"

MD: "pride comes before the fall. literally." / then MD pushes BH, BH falls, and a crew of 5 grown-ass men with a dolley, have to pick him up

(accomanying video to help explain)

 

Set your avi
Adambob on 13 Feb 2013 - 1:57am #

Pull my finger

Bitch please

TNbuckeye91's picture
TNbuckeye91 on 13 Feb 2013 - 2:12am #

Hoke "dont say anything but I just ate the whole buffet, and the table, and urban, and his recruits."
Dantonio: "about time"

Buckeye Beast's picture
Buckeye Beast on 13 Feb 2013 - 2:56am #

Hoke: "I met this girl on twitter. Her name's Lennay, girls a dime bro"

Mark: "Haha, is that so?"

Hoke: "Yep. But anyways, long story short, it's getting pretty serious"

It's 5 o'clock somewhere, & Michigan still sucks

Seth4Bucks's picture
Seth4Bucks on 13 Feb 2013 - 3:30am #

Hoke: "What do you mean I'll EAT into the profits? I'm telling you, I'm opening up a side business selling girl scout cookies. Look, I'll pay for the cookies and eat them . . . and then I'll pay myself back as the worker. It's sheer genius, unlimited supplies of thin mints and money for the rest of my life!

Dantonio: Oh God, please someone rescue me . . . where's a nacho stand when I need one?

HighBallAce's picture
HighBallAce on 13 Feb 2013 - 5:10am #

Dude, if we put our teams together, we could totally beat Ohio State!

Poison nuts's picture
Poison nuts on 13 Feb 2013 - 5:26am #

Hoke - "You see that? Someone just took a picture of us -- I bet they'll turn this into another caption contest at 11W & 90% of the captions are about how overweight I am...Those Ohio people are so predictable.."

Dantonio - "Whatever fatty".

The world is full of kings & queens who'll blind your eyes & steal your dreams - it's heaven & hell - Ronnie James Dio.

JohnBoy's picture
JohnBoy on 13 Feb 2013 - 6:22am #

Hoke: Did you see how firm Urban's ass is?

MD: Yeah....he must workout.

Thank you sir! May I have another?

Sofa Kingdom's picture
Sofa Kingdom on 13 Feb 2013 - 6:55am #

BH: You’re it.

MD: You’re it.

BH: You’re it, quitsies!

MD: Anti-quitsies, you’re it, quitsies, no anti-quitsies, no startsies!

BH: You can’t do that!

MD: Can too!

BH: Cannot, stamp it!

MD: Can too, double stamp it, no erasies!

BH: Cannot, triple stamp, no erasies, Touch blue make it true.

MD: No, you can’t do that… you can’t triple stamp a double stamp, you can’t triple stamp a double stamp! Hoke!

BH: LA LA LA LA LA LA!

DMcDougal24's picture
DMcDougal24 on 13 Feb 2013 - 6:49am #

BH: "... So he says WE need to start recruiting better!"

MD: "That arrogant prick. Lets you and I form a gentleman's agreement to never recruit against each other. That will show him how things work around here"

LouGroza's picture
LouGroza on 13 Feb 2013 - 8:28am #

BH: So, then we decided to say that Urban was inferring that I had multiple offers to coach in the NFL to sway recruits and....Hey, Hey Mark! Stop laughing! I could possibly coach in the NFL someday! 

MD: Dude, PLEASE!

bowthrock's picture
bowthrock on 13 Feb 2013 - 8:34am #

BH- I wish Tressel was still their coach.

MD- He kicked our asses for an entire decade you dumb shit!

BH- That's better than what's going to happen for the next ten!

MD- God I miss Tressel!

BH- NOMNOMNOMNOMNOM

"Lets beat the shit out of Michigan".... Urban. Frank. Meyer.

Set your avi
Lincoln on 13 Feb 2013 - 8:41am #

BH " WELLLLL, Bo and a turtle walked into a MICHIGAN bar"

MD " Yah, I think I know where you are going with this one"

Hohnson's picture
Hohnson on 13 Feb 2013 - 8:44am #

Dantonio:  "Look at this f**king guy.  How is it possible I'm the one who had a f**king heart attack?"

Hohnson

Set your avi
shocker45886 on 13 Feb 2013 - 8:54am #

Hey look we are on fan cam

when were done, wanna share some nachos?

shortbus20's picture
shortbus20 on 13 Feb 2013 - 8:59am #

Hey Mark   Can you believe Arkansas was dumb enough to hire Bret Bielma...

 

shortbus20
 

 

brandonbauer87's picture
brandonbauer87 on 13 Feb 2013 - 9:05am #

"If we both tell Jim Delany that Meyer is paying recruits, he'll have to believe us."

brandonbauer87's picture
brandonbauer87 on 13 Feb 2013 - 9:11am #

"We'll let you win all the basketball games if you give us the football games. Deal?"

BrewstersMillions's picture
BrewstersMillions on 13 Feb 2013 - 9:27am #

Brady-"Mark...you see that kid over there...he's 8 and can throw a football. Here's the best part....Urban has no idea who he is...we might get one!"

Mark-"May the best recruiter win!"

 

4-6 seconds from point A to point B and when you get to point B, be pissed off

IBLEEDSCARLETANDGRAY's picture
IBLEEDSCARLETANDGRAY on 13 Feb 2013 - 9:36am #

"If I ask out that roast beef sandwich you think it'll say yes?"

"Sherman ran an option play right through the south" - Greatest.Civil.War.Analogy.Ever

acBuckeye's picture
acBuckeye on 13 Feb 2013 - 9:38am #

Hoke: "And then I says...... uhhh, uhh, i says...... uhhh, Ohio."

Dantonio: "Next question."

Optimistic Buckeye Pessimist's picture
Optimistic Buck... on 13 Feb 2013 - 9:44am #

HOKE:  ".. I'll tell you what, you can take a good look at a butcher's ass by sticking your head up there, but wouldn't you rather take his word for it?"

DANTONIO:  "... what, I am having trouble making the connection here ..."

HOKE:  "... no, I mean you can take a good look at a t-bone by sticking your head up a butcher's ass, but then ... no, it's got to be your bull ..."

DANTONIO: "... wow ..."

highwire's picture
highwire on 13 Feb 2013 - 9:44am #

So I said, "Dammit Bielema, that's my tit you're grabbing!"

Run_Fido_Run's picture
Run_Fido_Run on 13 Feb 2013 - 9:49am #

Hoke: "Hey, Mark. I see you staring at the blonde cheerleader down there. Hell, I can't blame you . . .  she's hot! But I got a surprise for you, buddy. That girl is not in love with you. She's not the girl you've been chatting online with these last three months - she's not Hot-to-Trot69. I'm Hot-to-Trot69! You got catfished. We hijacked a photo of the blonde cheerleader so that we could teach you a lesson on social media responsibility. Okay, the truth is, I was trying to distract you on the recruiting trail and now you got the 40th ranked recruiting class! But, you know what, I think I might be falling for you . . ."

Dantonio [silently thinking]: ". . .  What this fat f--- doesn't know is that we've been catfishing the top 2014 high school prospects in Michigan - sending out intimate texts to these kids on Hoke's behalf - haha! Now, half of them are convinced that Jabba desperately wants to go Ronaiah Tuiasosopo on their a--es! That's how we landed Drake Harris and Deon Drake while Urban Meyer stole Damon Webb and Lawrence Marshall. We'll see who gets the last laugh, you fat f---!"

hail2victors9's picture
hail2victors9 on 13 Feb 2013 - 10:00am #

MD:  I'm so sick of you talking about "Michigan Men."  We have Michigan Men, too. 
BH:  They're not Michigan Men.
MD:  More than half our roster is from Michigan.
BH:  They're not Michigan Men.
MD:  WHAAT?  They're from Michigan...they're men.
BH:  They're not Michigan Men.
MD:  You offered 15 of them.
BH:  They're not Michigan Men.
MD:  You have more players from Ohio than you do Michigan.  How can they be Michigan men?
BH:  We only take Michigan Men.
MD:  Oh. My. God.

Those who stay will be CHAMPIONS!
~Bo Schembechler

Set your avi
Lincoln on 13 Feb 2013 - 10:08am #

I think we should give this guy a t-shirt.

1. that is funny stuff

2. I vote 12-OH

Earle's picture
Earle on 13 Feb 2013 - 10:32am #

 

Good stuff, Hail.  Might I add:

MD:  Why aren't they Michigan Men?

BH:  They're too fast.

hail2victors9's picture
hail2victors9 on 13 Feb 2013 - 11:07am #

thanks.  Lol.

Those who stay will be CHAMPIONS!
~Bo Schembechler

brandonbauer87's picture
brandonbauer87 on 13 Feb 2013 - 11:16am #

You win the shirt and when The Game rolls around, when we win, you wear said shirt to watch your bowl game. 

hail2victors9's picture
hail2victors9 on 13 Feb 2013 - 11:25am #

Deal!  But you have to pay for my trip to said bowl game ;) 

My wife actually claims to be an OSU "Fan," so I'd probably let her pick it out.

Those who stay will be CHAMPIONS!
~Bo Schembechler

brandonbauer87's picture
brandonbauer87 on 13 Feb 2013 - 12:32pm #

Lol I never said anything about going to the game. Just watching it.

hail2victors9's picture
hail2victors9 on 14 Feb 2013 - 12:23pm #

bummer!

Those who stay will be CHAMPIONS!
~Bo Schembechler

Set your avi
legates54 on 13 Feb 2013 - 10:06am #

BH:  "Mark, Good luck in the race for 2nd place"

MD: "Yeah, I need a career change"

Set your avi
D-Buck on 13 Feb 2013 - 10:09am #

MD:Hi! Mark Dantonio, Head Coach.  Damn glad to meet ya!

BH: I'm a legacy!

Poison nuts's picture
Poison nuts on 13 Feb 2013 - 10:49am #

Brilliant!

The world is full of kings & queens who'll blind your eyes & steal your dreams - it's heaven & hell - Ronnie James Dio.

GABuckeye's picture
GABuckeye on 13 Feb 2013 - 10:11am #

MD: "What are going to do today Brain?"

BH: "Same thing we do every day Pinky - try and put Golden Corral out of business!"

 

David Sokol's picture
David Sokol on 13 Feb 2013 - 10:22am #

Hoke: Sigh

Dantonio: What's wrong, Brady?

Hoke: Denard - ESPN already told me that they're paying him to sit in the student section at every Michigan home game, so they can show him during every big play this football season.

Dantonio: That guy has gotta get a job. Why don't they just pan over the student section?

Hoke: Have you seen our students?....yeesh.

Set your avi
northcampus on 13 Feb 2013 - 10:29am #

"Dude!  That was a great "AYYY!!!" impersonation!  You sound just like the Fonz!"

Set your avi
northcampus on 13 Feb 2013 - 10:29am #

"Sweet jacket Dino!  I eat cows, you wear them!"

kevinfrenchfry's picture
kevinfrenchfry on 13 Feb 2013 - 10:38am #

Hoke: My wife and I have been experimenting with donuts in the bedroom.

Dantonio (to himself): Get me out of here.

Ahh Saturday's picture
Ahh Saturday on 13 Feb 2013 - 10:48am #

Hoke:  . . . and then Ferentz says to me, 375k per win isn't bad, but I got over 900k for each win last year.

Dantonio:  Ha ha ha, must kill agent.

toad1204's picture
toad1204 on 13 Feb 2013 - 11:20am #

BH: I usually eat the whole thing but thats a nice jacket. 

MD: (No wonder his breath smells like sh*t)

Nothing like dancing on the field in 02... 

GlueFingers Lavelli's picture
GlueFingers Lavelli on 13 Feb 2013 - 11:01am #

(Dantonio)  What'd you think of me getting that creep to stalk Meyer's recruits?? pretty good huh??

(Hoke)  Waugh what!?!?  That's my nephew you're talking about. He always won the trivia games. It's hard to press those buttons fast with wing sauce on your fingers.

Dustin Fox was our leading tackler as a corner.... because his guy always caught the ball.

GuidedByVoices's picture
GuidedByVoices on 13 Feb 2013 - 11:10am #

So, Harbaugh is screaming at the refs, right? I want cake! I want cake now! I was like, Is this guy serious? I mean I love cake, but I wouldn't even do that. And he was their first choice?! I'll send you the link.

Earle's picture
Earle on 13 Feb 2013 - 3:49pm #

That is a GREAT avatar!

Earle's picture
Earle on 13 Feb 2013 - 3:57pm #

Talk about mud flaps, Brady's got 'em.  There's a whole unexplored universe of Spinal Tap/Michigan humor out there ("Hell Hole" immediately springs to mind).

droessl's picture
droessl on 13 Feb 2013 - 11:13am #

FatTits: "Tickle your ass with a feather?"

MD: "what!?"

TubbsMcGee: "I said 'Particularly nice weather'"

harleymanjax's picture
harleymanjax on 13 Feb 2013 - 11:15am #

MD: Look at that chick, I think her boobs are actually bigger than yours!

BH: Yeah but my belly is still bigger............WINNING!

"Because I couldn't go for 3"

tennbuckeye19's picture
tennbuckeye19 on 13 Feb 2013 - 5:36pm #

Hoke: Man, Mark, that leather jacket is Su-weeeeeeet! I used to have one of those, but I....outgrew it.

Dantonio: Yeah, from the looks of you, I'm guessing you've outgrown a lot of things over the years.

rkylet83's picture
rkylet83 on 13 Feb 2013 - 11:25am #

BH - Boy this sure is a big crowd. (Mouthful)

MD - I know, there will be no way we could get you to the defibrillator in time!

gobucks96's picture
gobucks96 on 13 Feb 2013 - 11:30am #

heat miser and snow miser...

 

D. Anthony's picture
D. Anthony on 13 Feb 2013 - 11:31am #

Brady: Can you believe that they have nobody in this state capable of running a football program? Look around, these idiots hate Ohio, call it the worst state ever, then bring in a couple of Ohio raised guys like us and pay us millions to eat corndogs and do a little coach'n...hey Mark, you listening to me?

Mark: look at the butt on that cheerleader.

D. Anthony

Set your avi
rickyu22 on 13 Feb 2013 - 11:33am #

BH: Check out the butt on that...(talking about woman)

MD:Yeah he must work out...(talkin about Coach Meyer) 

IBleedSandG's picture
IBleedSandG on 13 Feb 2013 - 11:36am #

Hoke: Mark, you guys sure are lucky you don't have to play Ohio (State) next year!

Dantonio: Yeah, Frank Solich is a heck of a coach and they are coming of a nice year.

Hoke: No, the other Ohio...

Dantonio: Ohhhh, you mean Ohio State. {thinks to himself} I hate when he does his stupid Ohio thing.

Hoke: Yeah, them

Dantonio: Yeah, good luck with that buddy!

God damn that's a pretty f*cking good milkshake! I don't know if it's worth five dollars, but it's pretty f*cking good.
-Vincent Vega

Mush's picture
Mush on 13 Feb 2013 - 2:06pm #

BH: uh, oh, uh, uh...Did you hear, did you hear, did you hear ????

MD: Sure did. Urban Meyer leaves B1G to be anointed Pope !!!

 

 

Set your avi
northcampus on 13 Feb 2013 - 12:11pm #

Hoke: "That turtle joke Urban told was pretty freaking funny, wasn't it?"

Dino: "I actually got Narduzzi to latch a turtle on.  He was hurting afterwards"

MAVBuck's picture
MAVBuck on 13 Feb 2013 - 12:12pm #

Hoke: "Get ready, were on the kissing cam"

Mark: "God I hope he doesnt smell the sandwich I ate earlier..."

Set your avi
kalabuckzoo on 13 Feb 2013 - 12:41pm #

MD:  Looks like it's time to do what we were told back in college..."my advice to you is to start drinking heavily."

 

Tengauge's picture
Tengauge on 13 Feb 2013 - 12:50pm #

Brady: I just sent Meyer an alligator let's see him get that off his privates...

E2Brutus's picture
E2Brutus on 13 Feb 2013 - 12:56pm #

"I agree, Mark. If we both chipped in we could build a wall around the state but I'm not sure that would stop him."

E2Brutus's picture
E2Brutus on 13 Feb 2013 - 1:02pm #

Hoke: "What can I say, I'm a traditionalist. If there's no chocolate covered ham in Cupid diaper it's just not Valentine's Day!"

Dantonio: (Awkward laughing)

Hogan1's picture
Hogan1 on 13 Feb 2013 - 1:14pm #

Hoke: Joey Chestnut is going down this year.

Dantonio: The B1G is lucky to have such a competitive eater. 

Leanenaud's picture
Leanenaud on 13 Feb 2013 - 1:39pm #

Will you help me get this bracelet off my wrist? I've got some major sodium bloat going on and it's cutting off the circulation to my hand. 

bucknasty13's picture
bucknasty13 on 13 Feb 2013 - 1:43pm #

Okay...Urban stole both of our recruits...You club him and I'll eat him.

Ahh Saturday's picture
Ahh Saturday on 13 Feb 2013 - 2:27pm #

Hoke: Half an hour later, I'm still crawling around on my stomach. I thought he said low hanging fruit PIE!

Illibuck11's picture
Illibuck11 on 13 Feb 2013 - 2:34pm #

BH: "I love stirring the pot with rivals. I'm going to start calling you guys Michigan."

David Sokol's picture
David Sokol on 13 Feb 2013 - 3:12pm #

Hoke: I just had that new Indian spot on campus.

Dantonio: And..?

Hoke: Just crushed Izzo's private toilet in his office. Thing's built for midgets.

Dantonio: Oh, food's that bad?

Hoke: No, I sat on the toilet, it came off the wall and was crushed into pieces.

Buckeyeneer's picture
Buckeyeneer on 13 Feb 2013 - 3:14pm #

Remember, I get to finish second this year.

"Because the rules won't let you go for three." - Woody Hayes
THE Ohio State University

njclebuckeye5's picture
njclebuckeye5 on 13 Feb 2013 - 3:19pm #

Hoke "So I said to the waitress I ordered 3 slabs not 2"

Dantonio 'Wow is his hand sweaty. I'll just look at the floor and hope he walks away.'

NCBuck1's picture
NCBuck1 on 13 Feb 2013 - 3:25pm #

Hoke - .........and then when WE play Ohio, you send us YOUR best players!

MD - Yeah!    Jabba, You're a genious buddy!

 

WC Buckeye's picture
WC Buckeye on 13 Feb 2013 - 3:35pm #

Hoke: "It's awfully nice to meet you, Mr. Diamond. Nice haircut. Sweet Caroline's always been one of my favorites".

"You might outsmart me, but you'll never outwork me"

Wayne Woodrow Hayes

KateUptonsLowerBack's picture
KateUptonsLowerBack on 13 Feb 2013 - 5:27pm #

BH: "Does this shirt make me look fat, Mark?"
MD: "ehhhh no, it's your flabby manboobs, mainly"

UrbanWoodrowEarlTressel's picture
UrbanWoodrowEar... on 13 Feb 2013 - 5:32pm #

Hahaha
Winner in my book.

cajunbuckeye's picture
cajunbuckeye on 13 Feb 2013 - 7:29pm #

"Mark, ya see the hot dog vendor over there? You create a distraction and I'll grab all the dogs."

An angry fan...rooting for an angry team...led by angry coaches

faux_maestro's picture
faux_maestro on 13 Feb 2013 - 7:39pm #

MD: Hey Brady, where's my hotdog?

BH: I...uh...umm...accidentally...uhhh...the whole thing.

Set your avi
twalsh on 13 Feb 2013 - 9:49pm #

BH- Let's team up so we can beat OHIO next year!

MD- Do you mean OHIO Bobcats or do you mean OHIO STATE?

Buckeyeboy's picture
Buckeyeboy on 13 Feb 2013 - 11:23pm #

Hoke: "Hey Mark, your mascot passes our 'look test' for student-athlete recruits."

Dantonio: "Really?"

Go Bucks!

Haybucks's picture
Haybucks on 14 Feb 2013 - 12:49am #

Braidy Joke: Well? Are you losing your DC next year? Have you had time to review my resume?

Mad Dan: Could he be a bigger d-bag?

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

Set your avi
Buckeytrips on 14 Feb 2013 - 2:47am #

BH - Mark, if you push right here I will stick my tongue in your ear.

Kevbo714's picture
Kevbo714 on 14 Feb 2013 - 3:25am #

BH- "... The one who told me, 4,8,15,16,23,42...?"

MD- "Not THAT Desmond, you idiot..."

Tom Crean listens to Nickelback...

AJBor41's picture
AJBor41 on 14 Feb 2013 - 10:07am #

MD - "Did you see Appling's girlfriend down there?"

BH - "Yea, too bad Musberger already called 'dibs'."

blueinsconsin's picture
blueinsconsin on 14 Feb 2013 - 10:50am #

Mark:  So we work together to flip Marshall?

Brady: Yeah, that plan sounds good.

Mark: I'll take Marshall

Brady:  And I'll take Drake.

Mark: Deal

Brady: Deal

Not here to troll...Go Blue

Jason's picture
Jason Staff on 14 Feb 2013 - 4:40pm #

Looks like Baroclinicity is our winner. Be on the lookout for an email from us.

Thanks for participating and voting, everyone.

 

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