A Letter to Coach Meyer From Any Ohio State Fan

By Jeff Beck on August 1, 2012 at 6:00p
41 Comments
Shakespearean

Dear Urban…I mean Meyer err…uh….Coach Meyer, 

With fall camp set to open in just a few days, I felt it would be best if I came clean on a few things I’ve wanted to share with you for a while. I apologize for waiting so long, it’s just that you were moving into your Muirfield home, then I was busy with some yard-work, then you were gearing up for the spring-game, then I had to watch it. Yada Yada Yada before we knew it you were at Big Ten Media Days, and I was crying over my hydrangeas (literally crying OVER them) in a last ditch effort to save them from this drought’s death grip. A man’s yard is his temple, amirite?

Anyway, the point is we were both busy, but now that we’ve got a few minutes…here it goes.

The truth is: I hated you.

Weirdly enough, the hate actually started out as love. Back in late 2006, I thought it was so endearing when you’d show up on ESPN to jockey for your #4 Gators to be included in the National Championship discussion. “Strength of schedule” you’d say, “No rematch” you’d proclaim. But that was idle talk. Michigan and Ohio State would be playing round two in the desert and you could take that to the bank. 

Well, along the way the bank failed (as they have a tendency to do) and you and your Gainesville ruffians were coming to Glendale with us.  Honestly, I couldn’t thank you enough. T-Smith and the boys were a mere formality away from hoisting the crystal football, and you made the road a little easier. Instead of having to play Mike (got no) Hart and Michigan for a second time, we just had to get by you. I mean honestly, who wins a National Championship with a two QB system?

Smith and the rest of the boys shared my enthusiasm. So much so that they ate and drank and ate and drank and ate and drank to your Gator’s selection. It was all lining up so perfectly. 

And then this happened.

In the course of an evening I went from mockingly screaming “SEC SPEED!” as Tedd Ginn raced into the end-zone to turning off the game in the beginning of the fourth quarter and heading to Little Caesar’s to forget.

I didn't stick around for this celebration.The night I chose hate.

It was that night, in the dining room of a Little Caesar’s that I chose to hate you.

I mean honestly Coach, can you blame me? You turned my world upside down. Your 2006 Gators catalyzed a string of conference success never seen in the BCS era. Meanwhile the Big Ten was being relegated to a cold, dark and mildewy place somewhere between Conference USA and the MAC. I hated you.

But you didn’t stop there. Just a season removed from your perfectly orchestrated BCS nightmare, you had the audacity to coach up a sophomore Heisman Trophy winner. At the time I felt you held nothing sacred. I was still seeing Florida D-linemen in my sleep and you were already gunning for the jugular: Archie’s two Heismans. You had taken my team’s pride and now you were going to take their place in history. I hated you.

Heading into the 2008 season, I was a broken man. Two straight National Championship losses left me despondent, hopeless and alone. Looking for anything to get me through the days, I took pleasure in seeing your Gators downed early in their schedule at home to an unranked Ole Miss. Frankly, I thought it was hilarious, and your QB’s post-game speech was even funnier. 

“You will never see any player in the entire country play as hard as I will play the rest of the season. You will never see someone push the rest of the team as hard as I will push everybody the rest of the season. You will never see a team play harder than we will the rest of the season”

Oh yeah? Well you will never see a fan laugh harder than I did at Florida that day. A loss in late September to an unranked opponent at home? Good luck going on ESPN to explain your way back into another championship game after that one. 

HAHAHA wait…what?

Not only did you go on to win another National Championship, but you also decided to have the speech I so ardently mocked immortalized on campus. Talk about kicking a guy while he’s down. I hated you.

You had one more good season, but after an 8-5 2010 outing you felt the press box suited you better. You said you were worn out. Well, who wouldn’t be after trolling Ohio State fans for 3 straight years? “Good riddance” I said, because of course, I hated you.

Well, then a few other things happened, and before I knew it your name was being bandied about as a potential Jim Tressel replacement.

Imagine my dilemma. The man I hated, possibly coaching the team I loved. It was Shakespearean.

I thought long and hard about it (at the only place a man can think: the dining room of a Little Caesar’s) and slowly began to realize what scientists have known for a while: hate and love are pretty similar. I must have missed that article in 2008. It’s hard to read with your head buried in the sand. Thanks LSU!

I guess what I’m trying to say is, it wasn’t you…it was me. 

That’s why I’m writing you: to apologize. During my years of hatred I had no idea your insufferable Florida success was just your way of saying “Hey Ohio State, I’d love to come home.”

You see, I like National Championships, Heisman Trophies and goose-bump inducing speeches as much as the next guy. Looking back on your years at Florida, I realize my undying scorn was the child of jealousy. I wanted everything you had given Florida and now, we have that chance.

So it’s true Urban, I hated you, but that’s only because you hadn’t come home.

Welcome home Coach Meyer.

Sincerely,
Any Ohio State Fan

41 Comments

Comments

Oakland Buckeye's picture

TOTALLY. CRUSHED. IT!

Oakland Buckeye's picture

Loved the Hart- less reference!

jestertcf's picture

Bravo sir, well done. I cracked up at the little ceasers referances.

~Because we couldn't go for three~

ShadyBuckeye's picture

Wow Jeff Beck, just wow. I mean that in a good way. Literally everything you wrote was EXACTLY as I have felt this entire time. EVERY SINGLE THING you said is exactly as I would have put it. Its almost as if I wrote this article (mine would be in text message form though with lots of errors haha.) But seriously, great article. You really touched on alot of things Im not articulate enough to... articulate. (see what I mean?)

Baroclinicity's picture

Yup.

When you're holding a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

BrewstersMillions's picture

HA! Creepy similarities in my own progression of feelings towards Urban. Man that 2006 game still chaps my ass. There are two comments I made about a week before the game that still ring in my head.
"Dude, they should rename the Thorpe Award the "Troy Smith let us live" award. He already kicked Hall and Ross' ass. He's going to WORK Reggie Nelson"
"SEC Speed? Doesn't matter how fast they are when you got large angry offensive linemen sitting on top of you".
I was in a dark place....

Do I come off as arrogant? Shame on me, I was hoping it would be more obvious.

Baroclinicity's picture

That game was the night before I started a new job in a new place.  I got up the next morning wondering if the move was a bad idea, and that game was the omen.

When you're holding a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

LadyBuck's picture

I applaud you for an excellent letter. I wonder what Coach Meyer would say in reply.

slicksickle's picture

"I was just padding my resume so I could come home."

buckeye76BHop's picture

Truth at it's best...I could only muster watching the TD Ginn scored (and thank the lord who ever made it took out him getting his ankle rolled by Roy Hall's help in celebrating).  Good one Jeff

"There's nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you."

"I love football. I think it is most wonderful game in world and I despise to lose."

Woody Hayes 1913 - 1987 

BuckeyeNation's picture

Standing ovation from the audience.
 
http://vimeo.com/4341142

Pam's picture

You are not going to believe this but I wrote to UFM saying almost exactly what you did but not as long and signed off with "welcome home coach"  I receieved a note from him thanking me and saying how glad he was to be back "home".  I will try to post a copy here.

Pam's picture

What I will do is send you the scanned letter I wrote him and his note to me. It shows the address.

avail31678's picture

Much appreciated! Saves me a bunch of searching, I'm sure. Go Bucks!

Pam's picture

Check yor email

bassplayer7770's picture

I would love to see that!

Crimson's picture

Seriously?  Little Sneezers?  The Ramen noodles of pizza?  If poor people can afford drugs, surely you can walk down the street to Adriatico's or take the bus to any other pizza place.

flipbuckeye's picture

I didn't even know Little Caesar's had a dining room.

qaid's picture

Except for the little Caesar's part, your experience and feelings were insanely similar to mine. I have decided to welcome Coach Meyer with open arms but my permanent hatred of Florida and its football/bball teams rivals that of my hatred of all things Michigan. It's pretty silly but I still boycott Gatorade haha

avail31678's picture

Yep, I "hated" Urban before too. I never did dislike Tebow. But the very minute UFM was a likely candidate for the best job in America, I was ridiculously giddy. Love Tressel, but possible upgrade? Yes, please! And then it happened and his inaugural press conference was chill-inducing. I love this coach who loves recruiting and loves hard work and loves winning BIG and loves Ohio and OSU.....

Go Bucks, and c'mon Sep. 1st!

bucknut24's picture

I have to admit I hated him too because to me he sounded like a used car salesmen.  When his name was circulating around as the next coach I told a buddy of mine that if they hire Meyer I will never watch another OSU game ever and I am a die hard fan.  Now, I LOVE THE GUY!

Maestro's picture

I just hope that he learned from his experiences at UF and doesn't flame out in 3-4 years.

vacuuming sucks

Devin1024's picture

I couldn't have written it better myself…

Ashtabula's picture

I couldn't agree more...except UFM is from my hometown and school-aged buddies with some of my friends, so I was always torn between love/hate/respect.  Now, it's all LOVE!

bedheadjc's picture

But...Little Caesars? We deserved the loss then.
 

headina's picture

So true.

GO BUCKS

Poison nuts's picture

Home Run.

"Do not pass me, just slow down - I can move right through you" Superchunk - Precision Auto.

BUCKtuckian's picture

2006, what a dark place.
My Buckeyes and Bears both lost the pinnacle of their sport.
Both eerily started with opening kickoffs for TDs
First Ginn then Hester. Same result. DEFEAT!

By the time OSU back doored from the clubhouse in 2007 I was still numb from 2006. FML

It's really been a continuation from 2006 forward. Pryor in ill fitting offenses/ Walrusball to Tatgate to Fickle damage control.

I have the same hate / now LOVE for UFM cause he really bleeds scarlet & grey!

People are saying that I'm an alcoholic, and that's not true, because I only drink when I work, and I'm a workaholic.
Ron White

Baroclinicity's picture

Ha!  I remember watching the Super Bowl with Hester taking it all the way at the opening and thinking:  "I've seen this before... Bears will lose."
(I'm not hating on the Bears)

When you're holding a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

Pam's picture

2006 forward to 2010 also had a Rose and Sugar Bowl victories, no losses to UM and 4 outright/co BIG champs.

BrewstersMillions's picture

HAHAHA you and me both brother. When Devin broke his run off, I was thinking "This can't be happening again". Hell we had them in that game at least....up until Daniel Manning blowing a zone coverage read....God that was a rough two months.

Do I come off as arrogant? Shame on me, I was hoping it would be more obvious.

Crimson's picture

After the game, we all thought, UFML.

Menexenus's picture

Mr. Beck, you can't hear it or see it, but your article has evoked a standing slow-clap from me.

Real fans stay for Carmen.

Nuts4Bucks's picture

I have actually admired Urban his whole career as a head coach. I went to school at BGSU when he was there. (Josh Harris anyone?) It was only for those 60 minutes in Tempe that I couldn't stand Urban Meyer...by far the worst and most disappointing game I have ever watched as a Buckeye fan, the 1998 Michigan St game is a close second. (Nick Saban was head coach...)

Buckeyeneer's picture

Those are my worst two games ever as well.

"Because the rules won't let you go for three." - Woody Hayes

THE Ohio State University

buckeyeEddie27's picture

  So this buddy of mine who i have grown up with is a scum fan, bgsu grad and UFM supporter to boot. 
  He loved talking up urban while he was at utah..."you know he coached at bgsu right?"..."he's awesome" 
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.  Good for him.  
~Then he got the florida job.~
"Dude did you hear about urban?"  "he got the florida job!"  ..."you know he coached at bg right?"    "He's awesome!"
A heisman, 2 mnc's (and an me ready to give up football), later, this guy cant get enough of urban f'n meyer.  he's the best ever, he cant be beat, he owns Ohio State, and somehow I can tell this friend of mine feels some kind of participation in the success of urban meyer because of course "you know he coached at bg right?"  "I was there. He's awesome"
skip to present day.
friend: so how do you feel about urban being hired? 
me:  i dunno man, honestly, somewhat confilcted.  i mean, i used to really hate the guy.
friend: uh-huh.   he's a good coach though, i mean he did coach at...
me:  bg, i know dude.  jesus.   you were there.   i get it. 
me:  it's kinda weird but the more i learn about him the more i like him.  Did you know his     first gig was at OSU as an assistant?  thats pretty awesome.
friend:  oh, thats cool.  I haden't heard that.
me:  yeah, his mentor was actually earle bruce.  and man does he love woody hayes.
friend:  hmm, so what about getting curb stomped in 06? how can you root for him after that?  isnt there still a little resentment?  i mean he beat you guys ugly. 
me:  of course.  but the way i see it is, with the way everything ended up - who is there that would be a better fit? i mean he's got ohio ties, a bad-ass record, he DOMINATES RIVALS, wins nation championships, coaches hiesman winners and he wanted to come back to osu.  I dont have any control over it anyway, so if it means eating a little humble pie, i can do that.
friend: yeah, thats all sounds good but.. wait, what was that part about dominating rivals?
me: heh,heh,   yeah.   

I know there's a game Saturday, and my ass will be there.

bassplayer7770's picture

friend: yeah, thats all sounds good but.. wait, what was that part about dominating rivals?
me: heh,heh,   yeah.  

Nice.  He'll find out on November 24th (or Nov. 27th on Kyle Kalis's calendar).  Mark it.

Dougger's picture

All of this is incredibly true I'm getting goosebumps.
A friend of mine was going to play for him at BG, and urban told him he was definitely going to stay, that BG was a place to raise his family...then he bolted for Utah. At the time I thought he was a huge jerk, but he wanted to make some bigger waves. 
As a freshmen in the dorms in 2006, everybody thought we were going to roll florida, bad. I did, and that night was probably the worsrt night of my life... I can remember watching with despair in my friends room across the hall and thinking is this for real? in spite immediately afterwards i made a facebook group that was titled "Urban Meyer is a liar and a cheat". One of the security questions for a website i use is "what sports team do you love to see lose?" and i put florida because they hurt deep down so bad.
I hated him...seriously hated his guts. and for so long people said he would be the next head coach and i thought nah not gonna happen no way... but when it came to fruition I was giddy.... this guy is the bomb.com, as far as his work ethic, record, and recruiting goes. If there's any way he could get us a crystal ball to pay back for 2006 that'd be nice, and maybe one more for the hell of it... no pressure urban. 

I like football

Et_Tu_OSU's picture

Nice piece, Jeff.  Meant to write that a few days ago, but can't post at work...

"The revolution will be televised."