ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD
Dobroye utro, comrades! It is another glorious morning and I, for one, cannot wait for the Scarlet People's Buckeyes to destroy the capitalist Badgers and their imperialist coach, Bo Ryan. Comrades Sullinger, Buford, Lighty, and Diebler will have their hands full dealing with the Wisconsin pig-dogs and their slowed down attack. I'm sure Commisar Matta has a plan to deal with this menace. Hopefully it involves duct tape, a car battery, and a sexy double agent.
With the weekend fast upon us and the Game of the Decade of the Month of the Day tomorrow, I can't help but be optimistic. This team has some amazing chemistry, and if they have a weakness, it's at the line. I'll take bad free throw shooting as my weakness every single time. If the Buckeyes do win, they won't be in the clear by any stretch, but Wisconsin is certainly the biggest step on the ladder. I'm not one to believe in fate, so I'll just say it would be awesome if Ohio State was the first team in over 30 years to go undefeated. I should mention that I also don't believe in jinxes.
The Greatest Offense Ever Made. A College Football Legend passed away yesterday, taking with him the mind that created one of the most prolific and influential offenses in the game. Emory Ballard was part of a long tradition of coaches who played at a better university then they coached, starting his playing years at Texas and ending his coaching years at Texas A&M. During his time at A&M, Ballard invented the Wishbone offense. His offense went on to take over college football in the 70s and came to define college football in the Southwestern Conference. While no modern team runs the Wishbone, the Flexbone-spread at Georgia Tech and the service academies carry on the legacy of the triple option and prove that it's just as capable of confusing the hell out of cameramen today as it was when Mr. Ballard was stalking the sidelines of Texas A&M. Best wishes to all of his friends and family from Buckeye nation.
Recruiting is so hot right now. Expired equine cudgel engaged. Rivals.com came out with a list of each state's DI recruit output yesterday. Definitely interesting to look at, but 80% of players sign locally and the SEC, Sun Belt, and Big XII are certainly not shy about recruiting way more kids then they can take and cutting the ones who don't pan out. It's difficult to say, just from the recruits hauled in, whether this shows what Rivals thinks it shows. Sure, Alabama has a high ratio of kids sign by a DI school every year, but is that because they have more talent or because the schools in the area all sign 5-10 more kids than everyone else in the country every year then cut the kids who don't make the grade?
Where there's smoke, there's Cecil Newton and a burning bus of orphans. Whether or not Cam Newton was actually eligible during the 2010 season, Auburn sure spent a lot of money making sure the NCAA said he was. Regardless of the results of last season, the investigation is still ongoing and it's possible that Newton and Auburn could lose the heisman and crystal trophy. I'm sure Auburn can use some of the Benjamins from their $17,000,000 BCS payout to dry their tears.
May the Forcier be with you, Miami. Tate Forcier, in an unsurprising move, has opted to transfer to Miami. While never the most gifted quarterback, he was one of the most talented players in football at the art of coaxing backhanded compliments from announcers. He's likely depending on Miami's long tradition of employing limp-armed Quarterbacks that are low on talent, but high on "moxie." Although he'll have to sit out for the Miami-Ohio State rematch, a sacrifice I'm sure he's more than willing to make, no doubt he'll give Jacory Harris and company plenty of pointers on which fake injuries garner the most sympathy.
Obiter dictum. Mr. Bill, I understand that you're excited, but this is just not the way things are done in Utah. While a certain level of acceptance of one's body is perfectly healthy, at some point the delicate sensibilities of the public at large must come first. Wild Bill, for the sake of the children and elderly among us, I must insist that it would be best if you took off your pants as well.