11W Weekend Update Sponsored By Rebirth

By Luke on September 3, 2010 at 2:00p

Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends. It's time for yet another season of Weekend Update, which profiles a handful of games to keep your eyes on (as well as some friendly random guesses as to what may go down with respect to the ol' Vegas line). Yours truly served up a bowl of awesome last season (albeit in an abbreviated slate) going 58-19-1 for the regular season and 20-11-1 in the post-season. Despite that being 71%, we repeat as always: your child's college savings fund is more important than the uber-improbable 4-team parlay. P.S.: There is no way the 2010 college football season is anywhere near as bad as the album depicted to the right. None.

National Games

Washington at BYU (-2.5) 7:00 p.m. - CBSCS
Jake Locker and trendy buzz pick Washington head to Provo to take on the recently declared independent women 25-year olds of Brigham Young. BYU coach Bronco Mendenhall says he plans to play 2 QBs against the Huskies to try and make up for the departure of all-Mountain West selection Max Hall while UDub DC Nick Holt (late of the 2008 SC squad that brought the paintrain to Todd Boeckman and co.) plans on bringing an aggressive attack to keep both on their toes. After Utah's win yesterday evening it would certainly seem easy to keep riding the MWC waves, but take Washington and the points, 27-24.

Cincinnati at Fresno State (-2.5) 10:00 p.m. - ESPN2
New Cincy coach Butch Jones (late of Central Michigan) makes his UC debut as the Bearcats travel west to take on Pat Hill and the Fresno State Bulldogs. Anywhere, anytime = a return trip by the Bearcats in this instance. New Cincy QB Zach Collaros looked brilliant in small stretches last season and Fresno State loses 1st round running back Ryan Matthews. Despite the home field advantage and the first game of the season sloppiness sure to ensue, take the road dogs (outright if you must) 30-21.

SMU at Texas Tech (-13.5) 3:30 p.m. (Sunday) - ESPN
What do you get when you combine an Air Raid (for now) club and a Run n Shoot in a bizarre Sunday afternoon opener? The recipe for offenses that are anything but crisp. Fortunately for new Tech coach Tommy Tuberville and SMU headman June Jones, neither of these defenses bring much to the table either. Expect these 2 to get out of the gates slowly but ultimately find their rhythm and make things watchable. Tech wins, but SMU makes gamblor happy 35-28.

#3 Boise State vs. #8 Virginia Tech (+2) 8:00 p.m. (Monday) - ESPN
In the game fo the weekend, Boise State travels across country to Landover Maryland to take on Virginia Tech in their Tron pro combat gear. Virginia Tech has lingering questions at safety (which against a Boise arial attack could prove doom) but does bring a vaunted rushing assault that could make all the defense. Boise State could make a statement even in a loss but bet on their national title hopes coming to a premature, crashing start as VT holds on 38-28.

Big Ten Games

Connecticut at Michigan (-2.5) 3:30 p.m. - ABC
What could be the final voyage of the S.S. Rich Rodriguez faces highly regarded (and potential future UM coaching candidate?) Randy Edsall and the Connecticut Huskies. Michigan enters the game as slight favorites, but as to what actually transpires in this one is anyone's guess. Edsall's team will be disciplined, focused, Michigan will be... Well we'll see. Michigan has to be better, right? Right?! Maybe it's the optimist in me that wants The Game to ring true again, but I'll give Michigan the benefit of a doubt. UM takes it 17-14.

Illinois vs. Missouri (-12) 12:30 p.m. - FSN
A "rivalry" so heralded their own fan bases sing its praises from the mountain tops, the Fightin' Zooks (yes, he's still employed) take on border rivals Mizzou. Missouri brings in potentially the highest profile quarterback in the Big XII in Blaine Gabbert and Illinois brings in a surplus of Zookery. 12 is an awful lot, but given last year's debacles, I'm inclined to give it: go Mizzou 30-14.

Purdue at Notre Dame (-11) 3:30 p.m. - NBC
The Fightin' Moustache Rides travel upstate to Touchdown Jesus Land to take on the Irish. Brian Kelly makes his ND coaching display and does so with great applomb. Very rarely do you see first year head coaches get the courtesy of 11 points in their debuts. Assuming Kelly goes ham the same way his two predecessors did the coach that proceeded them's players, it's not out of the question for the high octane Irish to light up Purdue. With Ralph Bolden sideline for the year, it'll be up to transfer Robert Marve to make his presence known and in a big way. Despite Purdue arguably having more continuity, take the talent and the points: ND 31 - Purdue 17

#13 Wisconsin at UNLV (+20.5) 11:00 p.m. - Versus
Bucky Badger goes to Vegas to take on former Montana coach Bobby Hauck in his Nevada-Las vegas debut. Rebels QB Omar Clayton is a natural fit for Hauck's spreadtastic attack but Wisconsin rolls into town with arguably the best offensive line in the country. Despite being the considerably better side, expecting Team Jump Around to roll by almost 3 touchdowns is a bit much. Wisconsin wins, but UNLV steals the cover 42-24.


Comments Show All Comments

SouthBayBuckeye's picture

Even though we should be rooting for all big ten teams to win.... i'll be pulling for uconn. i just can't help it.


also, I agree with the VT pick over BSu.

Banned from ATO since June 3rd 2PMish PST

BuckeyeSki's picture

Ill be pulling for UConn. Why? Cuz eff scUM, thats why....The DickRod farewell tour begins tomorrow @ 3:30. At least he can always fall back on the real-estate industry right?

Banned from BlackShoeDiaries since 2008. Crime: Slander/Defamation of Character Judgement: Guilty

yrro's picture

I'm fine with rooting for all big ten teams except for Michigan. 

Luke's picture

Oh, don't get me wrong. I'm not rooting for them in any sense of the word. I'd just be willing to bet on them if I had the money to do so.

Run_Fido_Run's picture

"Boise State could make a statement even in a loss." What kind of statement would it make if, as the favorites in one of the two games on their 2010 schedule, they lose to a team that is perennially about the 15th best in the nation? Wouldn't the statement be that 2010 BSU are pretenders?   

btalbert25's picture

I don't feel that I'm supposed to be rooting for Michigan at all.  In fact, I think it's absurd.  Bucking a tradition of hatred for the good of the Big 10 is not something I'm going to do.  If the other 9 teams win their games that's fine the big 10 will be 10-1 for the weekend.  I don't see Michigan's D holding anyone to 14 though except for maybe UMass.

btalbert25's picture

I suppose if I must though, I'll root for them to get their asses whooped.

M Man's picture

Have a nice day!

buckeyedude's picture

Who left the door open?



Orlando Buckeye's picture

"but does bring a vaunted rushing assault that could make all the defense."  

I get it! like a pun, right?

The new victory song is glorious and I can't wait to hear it again next weekend.

Denny's picture

I'm just wondering if Tom Hammond will mention "Purdon't" on air.

If he does? Jerkwheat has us covered.



btalbert25's picture

Tom Hammond has always annoyed me.  I don't like his voice or his grey curly half mullet

Joe Beale's picture

Love the ELP reference, although that's never been my favorite song of theirs.  I'm kind of partial to "From the Beginning", but that's just me. 

I'll be rooting for UConn but I won't be upset if scUM pulls it out.  We all know what will happen in late November.

Denny's picture

Electric Light Porchestra?