Ladies and gentlemen, we have a volunteer!With all of this talk of expansion, there is one thing that no one has suggested, at least not lately: the idea of eliminating one of the current Big (eleven)Ten teams while adding another. In the good old days before Penn State joined the conference, there was always speculation about adding Notre Dame or some other midwestern school.
But that speculation always came with the additional thought that the conference would kick out one of the "lowly" schools (usually Northwestern) so as to maintain the perfect number of 10 members. But ever since the Nittany Lions joined up, the Big Ten has accommodated itself to the idea of an odd number of teams, and so the talk of conference excommunication has ceased.
But what if that idea was back on the table? What if, in the course of adding the likes of Texas, Notre Dame, Missouri, Syracuse, Pitt, and any other team you had in mind, the conference took advantage of the realignment to rid itself of a "non-performing" member school? If such things are permitted for our consideration, I have just the school for the job.
It is a melancholy object to those who pay attention to Big Ten football year after year when they must look upon the recent record of the University of Michigan in football. Over the past few years, this team has endured severe beatings, surprising reversals, unexpected betrayals, and scandal upon scandal. Whoever could find out a fair, cheap, and easy method of making this program a sound, useful member of the conference, would deserve so well of the public as to have his statue set up for a preserver of Big Ten pride.
But can it really be done? The man who was expected to restore the fortunes of this once-proud institution has only brought it lower. As to my own part, having turned my thoughts for many years upon this important subject, and maturely weighed the several schemes of the current head coach, I have always found them grossly mistaken in the computation. The question therefore is, how this member school shall be repaired and restored to respectability, which, as I have already said, under the present situation of affairs, is utterly impossible by all the methods hitherto proposed.
I shall now therefore humbly propose my own thoughts, which I hope will not be liable to the least objection. I have been assured by a very knowing college football fan of my acquaintance, that a former football power well outfitted is a most a most attractive candidate for a second-tier conference trying to increase their stature in the FBS world. I propose, therefore, that the Big Ten should drop the University of Michigan from the ranks of conference teams and facilitate its entry to one of the lesser conferences for the good of all involved.
I have reckoned upon a medium that a team of such formerly high stature, if given an annual slate of conference foes such as that offered by someone like the Mountain West or the WAC, would prosper greatly in both the number and the margin of victories. At the same time, the conference that acquires this former power will prosper by including U of M in their ranks in both the athletic and academic realms. Meanwhile, the Big Ten prospers by adding higher quality programs that are not currenly engulfed in scandals and beset by numerous transfers. This to me appears to be a win-win situation.
So, 11W readers, what thinkest thou of my proposal? (submitted with many apologies to Jonathan Swift)
Comments
(checks calendar) wasn't april fools' like 2 months and some change ago?
Hilarious - notgonnahappenandsuggestingitisblasphemy, but hilarious.
At least UM will bounce back (at some point post-RichRod). I nominate we give IU the boot. Terrible in football, lost much of its luster in bball, and nobody, not even alums can tell me what the fuck a Hoosier is.
I miss the rivalry, can't we just give 'em some players or something? Maybe they could bus the team down for a week of camp at Woody Hayes?
LOL... I think Michigan will be in world of crap when they lose 6-7 more games this season. Michigan will be good again (when they get rid of DickRod).... I agree that the Hoosiers are the chief candidates for ex-communication from the Big-10.
Right, I miss the rivalry too ... b/c UM fans were complaining when they were cleaning our clocks for years.
Get real. Enjoy it while it lasts.
EXACTLY!!!! I don't miss it at all. In fact, I l ove when they pan out over the croud in the big house and it's mostly scarlet now. I love seeing them down and struggle, and I'd love to beat them soundly for the next 5 or 6 years as well. They'll be back, and I want to even the score from the Cooper years.
it's a tire used in drag racing i think.
I enjoy the teabagging that we have given the past 9 years. it's been awesome. never want this to end.
100% agree. Don't let your foot of of their collective lame-ass throats ever.
Go ahead and kick em out. It would indeed be for the good of all involved. I do think though that we should allow them a slot on our OOC schedule to keep that secure W.
"there is one thing that no one has suggested, at least not lately: the idea of eliminating one of the current Big (eleven)Ten teams "
i've been saying to get rid of PSU since this whole talk started, haha. They're the ones who started up all this expansion nonsense. If they don't like the way the B10 is right now, they can go start their own conference. It'd bring us back to a normal 10, allowing us a round-robin schedule, and it'd get rid of their complaining and give us back our illinois rivalry
We always supplied them with players. Ever watch an old game between Woody and Bo? Half the Michigan roster would be from Ohio. Since Tressel moved in, the pipeline has been cut off, and RR has been running off everyone else.
It is blasphemy to suggest dropping them - they deserve no mercy for what's happening. I'm glad we kick the cr*p out of them every year. This will teach them to NEVER utter the phrases "Michigan State is our true rival," or "the game with Notre Dame is bigger" again like they did in the late 1990s. I was recently in Vegas, and a woman from Michigan at a black jack table tried to tell me it's bigger for us than it is for them. I told her, "you're only saying that because we're kicking the shit out of you every year, but that kind of attitude is why you keep losing."
Michigan's national title hopes run through Columbus, Ohio - always have and always will.
Re: Good Shizzy NCAA 11 demo
pro-combat uniforms in the demo? I'm tempted not to dl it just for that reason, despite it being free, lol
I rekon its a small hole.....
Isn't Michigan getting rid of themselves by not getting any better?
I can feel the testosterone levels increase as he wrote that.
That comment was @ whoever published that comment with the story from deadspin.
If I thought they were capable of such complex scheming, I'd say RR had been working with WVU to find a way to get legitimacy for the Big East by bringing over "an historic" program. Tear a program down, alienate the boosters, incur some mid-tier violations...
Something like this... http://sports.espn.go.com/espn...
"Hoosier" is what other Big 10 player's say to Indiana players right before they say the word, "daddy". This question has been asked by so many other teams in so many Indiana losses that the name just sort of stuck.
This article is mean spirited, derogatory and disrespectful at best, Nice job! Go Bucks!
I have said much of the same to the turds up here. Real easy not to care when the Papa John's Bowl would be an improvement.
We can't kick them out, they would join the MAC and Central Michigan would get all the glory of beating scUM in the MAC Championship every year.
Why get rid of anyone? Just add Notre Dame and end this nonsense already...
As much as I hate to admit it(and as much as it contradicts my earlier writing) I'm starting to think this may all be a scheme to get Notre Dame, not the big 12 schoolcs..
Notre Dame, Pitt, West Virginia.
Bang. Done.
Joel Hale is a Buckeye.
Quite the defensive haul for OSU.
I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU THE DUMBEST PERSON ALIVE!!!
Why would you propose an option that inherently puts your own school at a disadvantage? How can The Rivalry continue without half the rivalry itself you f'n idiot?
You're such an idiot that I refuse to visit this blog ever again. No need to bash me or anything like that. I couldn't leave this page without giving you this distinguished honor. Your own kind said it was "the most absurd thing he's ever heard."
My buckeye friends had me starting to believe you guys were actually decent gentlemen, but you my friend have destroyed 10 years of progress to that end.
Lighten up, Francis!
Joe - Well done. You'll no doubt know this:
"Satire is a sort of glass, wherein beholders do generally discover everybody's face but their own; which is the chief reason for that kind of reception it meets in the world, and so very few are offended with it. But if it should happen otherwise, the danger is not great; and I have learned from long experience never to apprehend mischief from those understandings I have been able to provoke; for anger and fury, though they add strength to the sinews of the body, yet are found to relax those of the mind, and to render all its efforts feeble and impotent.
"There is a brain that will endure but on scumming; let the owner gather it with discretion, and manage his little stock with husbandry; but of all things, let him beware of bringing it under the lash of his betters, because that will make it bubble up into impertinence, and he will find no new supply. Wit, without knowledge, being a sort of cream, which gathers in a night to the top, and by a skillful hand may soon be whipped into froth; but once scummed away, what appears underneath will be fit for nothing but to be thrown to the hogs."
We didn't want ALL of Ohio's players. Just the really, really good ones. Heisman winners, if possible. That's worked out pretty good for us, a couple of times.
As for "true rivals," I'd readily list The Ohio State University first among our list of "true rivals." At least since Chicago left the Western Conference.
Still, I don't want to offend you or any of the quality readership of 11W; but honest to God, we hate Notre Dame more than you guys can imagine. We hate Notre Dame the way you hate us, except it is not quite so all-consuming because, well, we seem to be everybody's big game, and we can't afford that kind of monomania.
"At least since Chicago left the Western Conference."
haha, love it
LOL! That is funny as shit!
But, you're wrong about Michigan joining the WAC or Mountain West. It would never happen as they don't fit geographically. Similar to the problem with Texas joining the Big Ten. It will never happen.
Michigan would fit more nicely into the MAC. But don't put it in the same division as the Toledo Rockets.
ROFL!
Amen brotha! I'd like to keep beating them to the point where they are no longer "the winningest team in history" as they like to exclaim, and also where we lead the series.
The pricks padded their numbers in the pre-Woody, leather helmet years.
I've enjoyed some of the PSU/Ohio State and UM/PSU matchups. I part ways with you on that one, partner.
Nebraska, Missouri and Notre Dame. Forget Rutgers, UConn, Temple and Pitt.
"My buckeye friends had me starting to believe you guys were actually decent gentlemen" rabid_wolverine
LOL! Decent gentlemen? You obviously have never sat in the stands in the Big Shit House as an opposing fan, as I did in 1995, and will never do a again. The taunts, food throwing and bad sportsmanship were appalling to me.
I agree with rabid_wolverine...dumbest...post...ever...
"I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU THE DUMBEST PERSON ALIVE!!!"
Ahh...the sweet sound of a Michigan fan taking this post seriously. I knew it would happen eventually. It took a while, but it was worth the wait. You see Southbay, it was not a wasted effort.
Mr. rabid_wolverine,
I accuse you of not being a true Michigan man/woman. Any graduate of the U of M, a very prestigious academic institution, will no doubt have been schooled in all of the great classics of literature, which would include at least a modest helping of Swift. Since you missed the obvious references to such, you cannot have attended this great university. I hereby declare you to be a fraud, and I insist that you cease from claiming to be a "wolverine", rabid or otherwise.
Regards,
Joe
You may forget Rutgers. The B10 cash commandos, will not.
FYI, I'm pretty sure M Man was not joking in pointing that out. And it's an accurate point.
What do I think? I think you're about 10 miles over the head of any reader on this blog...
You have too much free time.
I agree that Nebraska and Missou could be in there when it's all said and done - but I see that in a 16 team "Big Ten" scenario.
It's getting to the point that unless Notre Dame is in the mix it's almost kind of pointless (in my humble opinion). Note: That comment is made with the assumption that Texas is not, and was never seriously considering coming.
P.S. I don't get the Rutgers love - they have had what, one notable season in my lifetime? Schiano should have taken the Miami or Michigan job when he had something to hang his hat on.
Rutgers sucks. Up until about five years ago, I believe they were the all time "losingest" team in cfb history, were they not?
I was joking, but in a wistful sort of way. The pictures of Michigan-Chicago games from that era look like true combat; much like pictures fromt the fornt in the Great War. (Before we started numbering them.)
But back to The Ohio State University; I'd never bother posting any messages at a Purdue blog. Not even a Penn State or a Michigan State blog. Like, why bother? What's the point?
But you guys GET IT. You guys, with your current program and Coach Tressel, you are the real deal. I respect you. You've damn sure earned our respect, and more, lately. But it's not just Tressel, either. You're Ohio State. You've got the script Ohio (after we taught you how to do it); you've got Carmen Ohio which is one of the great songs in all of college sport (written after a particularly bad loss to Michigan); you've got Jack Tatum; and you've got us, in your annual death-struggle.
Anyway, you guys are absolutely the best rivals to have.
are you suggesting that we eat the children of michigan?
Seeing as this is an OSU blog site I will say as a Michigan fan you can't get rid of the Wolverines because of two shitty years. 2007 was successful in my opinion despite App St. and Oregon. We ended up 9-4, killed Notre Dame in a shut out, Beat the hell out of PSU and ended the season with a bowl win over the Gators in the Capital One Bowl and sacked Tebow at least 7 times. 2006 ended up being #2 in the nation. We have too much history in the Bo and Carr era to leave this conference. The team that needs to leave is Indiana. They are a complete joke. They have never won a national championship in football, usually finish last in the Big Ten, get slaughtered by everyone they play except if it's schools like Youngstown St, Akron or Kent. Michigan makes the Big Ten the Big Ten. Number of wins, ticket sales, mechandise, national championships, professional names, conference titles and all time rivalry wins against MSU, ND and OSU. Dropping Michigan would kill this conference.
Sacked Tebow, you say? According to ESPN, CBS, and any other major network, that's not possible.
I'm pretty sure it was a joke. I hate Michigan, but not being able to play them every year would hurt my head.
I would never seriously consider dropping Michigan from the conference. This post was completely satirical, and was intended to express my boredom with this whole expansion process. Since there doesn't seem to be anything else to talk about, I decided to deal with the issue in my own way. The fact that some people actually took it seriously is part of the fun.
Rumor has it Nebraska just got their invite...
That's the last time Jim Delaney ever uses the US Postal Service.
Now that the Nebraska thing appears to be real - I like it. They are a great addition to the B10... Now bring on ND!