Fiinnaally, the local team returns to the playoffs. What a long, brutish, two-loss trudge through the shadows of Hell these last two years were.
Actually, strike that.
It included two wins over Michigan, a dumping of Notre Dame, a rolling of Oklahoma, and an okie doke on Wisconsin. If this is the golden era, please let the record show I lived my best life.
Almost equally important, however, is Michigan will be watching the playoffs from IKEA futon mattresses on the floor of their two-bedroom Ann Arbor flats. If only their coach handled reality as well as freshman linebacker Devin Bush:
What we crying for? We didn't do the things necessary to make it in the top 4 don't blame it on the College football rankings.
— Devin Bush Jr (@_Dbush11) December 4, 2016
But enough about the fourth-best Big Ten team. A trip to Miami is more than a 1-2 finish deserves, but there's also a 14% chance the FBI arrests Jim Harbaugh for a string of felonies committed in South Beach.
DON'T HATE THE PLAYER. Folks, I didn't give myself the nickname "No. 1 local football insider" because I don't have the pulse of the team. Some writers tried to shake the souls of Buckeye faithful with tales of the Big Ten champion leapfrogging Ohio State.
That's the downside to a subjective committee: Anyone can speak with an imaginative air of authority until the committee releases its findings. However, when those chips fall down, the insiders are separated from the outsiders.
— Danny Kanell (@dannykanell) December 4, 2016
We live in a world where a picture with some text is all it takes to appear wise. But just because you make it a meme, doesn't mean Urban Meyer coached Ohio State in 2006.
It also doesn't mean they rolled the CFP in 2006. But if they did, I doubt Meyer's words would have changed the outcome of the fancy computer algorithms that once ruled the sport:
All six original #BCS computers are now out here's a look at how they ranked the top 12 teams on average pic.twitter.com/brgtclDhzl
— BCSKnowHow.com (@BCSKnowHow) December 4, 2016
I would've lost my mind if Alabama and Ohio State swapped spots, but since it happened to the local team it's all extremely good with me. We can just skip to the Alabama and Ohio State prize fight if that's what the people want.
TIGERS ON TILT. Clemson! Would much rather play the team that beat Urban Meyer than a wild card like Chris Petersen (who only ages by losing the color in his hair).
It sucks in that it means tons of highlights from the Orange Bowl debacle and rehashes of Woody Hayes assaulting Charlie Bauman, even though that was fair because Bauman's ancestors killed Woody's in the Civil War.
But as far as first-round draws go, Clemson isn't as formidable as Alabama. From my preliminary scouting, they have the air of the 2015 OSU team that was never as great as its individual parts suggested it should be (until it lost to Michigan State).
Though the Tigers won the ACC championship Saturday night, it wasn't a perfect outing.
From foxsports.com:
For starters, the Tigers fell victim to several big plays over the course of the game, including a fake punt to set up the Hokies’ first touchdown, a 53-yard pass to set up their second and a 42-yard pass to set up their third. Against a better team -- like, any of the teams they’re apt to face in the playoff -- that would have been more than enough to do them in.
Additionally, Clemson allowed Virginia Tech to complete 7 of 15 third-down chances, including 4 of 5 in the fourth quarter alone. That’s an unacceptable number for a team that entered the game ranked fifth nationally in third-down defense, and an area where they’ll need to improve with a return trip to the national championship on the line.
There were other issues, too -- the eight penalties chief among them -- but the Clemson defense, a rebuilt unit that ranked No. 2 nationally in tackles for loss and No. 4 in sacks, did what it does best just often enough to balance out its numerous mistakes. And that, combined with the brilliance of Deshaun Watson was enough to get by.
I couldn't be happier with the draw.
Clemson is the perfect opening-round foe. Talented but flawed (like Ohio State). But if the Buckeyes can't win, they weren't going to beat Alabama or Washington, either. Idiots yelping about conference titles would get their tweets off, but it won't hurt the 2017 team that comes back older, stronger, and wiser.
DAMN YOU, JAMES FRANKLIN. As much as I love being 100% right about the local team, I do not enjoy being wrong about other, lesser teams.
But so I was wrong about "Big Game" James Franklin and the Penn State Nittany Lions.
From offtackleempire.com:
At one point this year, I referred to Penn State as “the 3rd best FBS team in Pennsylvania”. Guess what? I was wrong. Not only did the Nits avenge last year’s loss to Temple, but they cemented themselves as the 2nd best FBS team in Pennsylvania.
Meanwhile, James Franklin has long been criticized on OTE as “Coach Hype”; the loudmouthed dude who is good at recruiting, but would rather tweet recruits and slam Monster energy drink than make halftime adjustments. Well would a bad coach beat Tracy Claeys by nearly 4 points, I ask you? Would a bad coach hold a team with Jabrill Peppers on it to under 50 points?
Back to our preseason poll though. 8th place. We had Penn State in 8th damn place. Now here we sit in December, and Penn State is at least the 5th best team in the conference, if not the 4th best.
I was wrong about PSU up until their second-half comeback against Wisconsin. It was more surreal than watching a corpse climb out of the ground and jaunt into a neighborhood barbecue.
What's worse is I can't say mean things about Franklin until at least Oct. 28, 2017.
So let me just say giving Franklin, who has as many B1G titles as Urban Meyer, two and a half weeks to game plan sounds like a death sentence for Southern California.
LET ME HOLD A TUBMAN, BUTCHIE. Folks love to bag Millennials about participation trophies (I've never seen a Millennial boast about one), but we weren't the ones that allowed Butch Jones' agent to slide this clause into his contract:
A reminder, Butch Jones gets a $200,000 bonus for a berth in either the Citrus or Outback Bowls, $100,000 for any other bowl outside NY6.
— Rhiannon Potkey (@TennesseeBeat) December 6, 2015
Tennessee plays Nebraska in the Music City Bowl, which qualifies.
Six-figure bonuses and Mercedes. Butch Jones is the finesse king of college football.
THOSE WMDs. The taxi unicorn's new clothes... Oakland warehouse was a cluttered death trap... Fake US embassy in Ghana shut down after 10 years issuing visas... The last diplomat... Campus press vs. colleges... Oregon man allowed to take mugshot with parrot.
