Urban Meyer was sitting in a golf cart in the bowels of Lucas Oil Stadium with a Papa John's pizza in his lap.
He hadn't prepared for this moment. During the previous four hours he watched his team, which entered the game a 6.5-point favorite, get thoroughly outplayed for a majority of the evening.
It took him by surprise. His Ohio State teams hadn't lost a single game in his first 24 sideline appearances, and a win that night over Michigan State would have sent his Buckeyes to Pasadena, California for a showdown against Florida State in the BCS National Championship Game.
But there he was, surrounded by concerned family members who forced him to eat a pizza that had probably been pulled from the oven an hour before.
Post-game Urban Meyer eating some sad pizza. pic.twitter.com/ReboUClavf— Johnny Cobbler (@TopekaTalls) December 8, 2013
It wasn't a bad move. Though the moment was instantly immortalized, food often times provides comfort. We all have to do what we can to move on.
Fast forward to 2019. Ohio State has a new coach at the helm with a perfect 3-0 record as an acting head coach on his resume. How should Buckeye fans react to his inevitable first loss?
Heck, Order Yourself a Pizza
Pizza and that gut-punch feeling after defeat has to be the saddest, yet strongest marriage in the universe. I can remember that 2013 loss to the Spartans, and in a strange two trains passing in the night moment, I found myself picking up the phone and ordering a pizza right around the time Meyer was sitting on that golf cart.
It wasn't Papa John's. Although a solid option (I will not tolerate any Papa J's slander in the comments section), my favorite pizza place is Kraus', a tiny little building that is literally one-third pizza oven, one-third counter and one-third customer area cramped with chip and soda options.
I ordered a large pepperoni pizza — Kraus' uses those pepperoni's that turn into little bowls of grease in the oven — and a dozen wings. I ate the entirety of that order and spent the following two days painfully aware of my kidneys.
I needed that though. You need that too, just like Meyer's family knew he needed it. Get yourself a pizza after Day's first loss. It can be your favorite pizza. It can be Papa John's. All pizza is good — if you put enough sauce and cheese on a piece of cardboard I'd probably eat it — and there's a magic to it that helps you move on.
The Other, Less-Effective Options
If you're still reading that means you don't like pizza or happiness. That's fine.
Queue up a game and watch one of your favorite sports moments. I recommend anything non-Buckeye football related, because that'll inevitably bring you back to the evening at hand. My go-to is Game 7 of the 2016 NBA finals. A fellow you may have heard of named LeBron James gave me the greatest sporting moment of my life going up against a team called the Golden State Warriors, whom you also may have heard of.
There's bourbon, or other inferior drinking options. If you do this, you give up your keys for the day. Don't be an asshole.
It'll be Saturday, so do something fun with friends or family. Go golfing or hiking. Get your heart going. Endorphins are a hell of a drug.
Or just order the pizza. Let that cheese bring you peace.