The Fake Lantern Campus Week in Review: September 1-7

By The Fake Lantern on September 8, 2013 at 9:00 pm
Ohio State's new and improved Numbers Garden.


Students across campus panicked at the unexpected lack of the weekly Buckeye Net News email.


OSU Student Wellness began offering free diapers and daycare.

A 7th-year senior was just using a hoodie as a pillowcase at this point.

And a survey found 85% of students were using the "homework is technically labor" excuse.


Our TFL forecast showed a 100% chance of Ohio.

Jordan Hall spin-moved 14 times across a crosswalk on his way to class.

Ohio State loosened its jaywalking stance.

President Gee still wasn't quite sure what his new job is.

And two future divorcees really hit it off on a Tinder date.


A recitation was wasted on a quiz.

According to campus roommates, "Hump day."

And a PAD order from 2012 arrived still kind of warm actually.


Ohio State increased its Numbers Garden budget.

A mechanics professor used a moment at the start of class to make a terrible physics joke.

Smith-Steeb was reportedly somehow already full of volatile mold.

Park-Stradley was proud of itself for not blacking out yet this year.

Everyone else at the library was studying better.

And Ryan Lochte started off OUAB's 'Winning Gold' event with a booming "H-O!"


An anonymous donor purchased half the naming rights to the newly named 'Wexnershon Auditorium.'

A business major was unable to clearly distinguish between the week and the weekend.

And a Union Market applicant was denied for knowing English.


The weird roommate admitted to preferring noon games.

We asked readers, "What team does Ohio State play this week?"

Our extra ticket was sold at the last minute for $10.

A hot chocolate stadium vendor didn't do great.

And a "Ken-ny G!" chant slowly morphed into "M-V-P!"

For more fake news, check out The Fake Lantern and be sure to follow @TheFakeLantern on Twitter.

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