Glad I'll be working for ELEVEN WARRIORS WORLDWIDE LLC during next year's games. With the OSU-MSU banger being an 8 PM kickoff, I don't think my liver (or my freedom) would have been able to survive five night games. Especially so considering it will run parallel to the Almighty Cleveland Browns' march to the Super Bowl.
This week's NSFW ANTI-WORK #BANGERS:
- DJ Hylite's "I'm from Ohio"
- Germany's 7-1 victory over Brazil as narrated by Jim Ross.
- I think this five year-old Chinese kid is smarter than me.
JEROME BAKER'S JUDGMENT DAY. One of the top 2015 prospects in Ohio, Cleveland Benedictine's four-star LB/ATH, Jerome Baker, will make his decision at 10 AM today. Ohio State, Florida and Tennessee are seen as the three finalists.
Here's the requisite highlight film:
Jerome Baker was seen as an Ohio State lock as recently as last week, but apparently there's been some chatter about him pledging to Will Muschamp's Florida Gators.
In times like this, there's only one man to which I turn: The Lord of Whispers.
FWIW, I keep hearing the same "Baker to Florida" stuff and I still have a tough time believing it.
— Jeremy Birmingham (@Birm) July 10, 2014
*takes off sunglasses and switches to Batman voice* Get the GIFs ready, Alfred.
LJ SCOTT TO MSU CLEARS THE WAY FOR HARRIS TO OSU? Last night, Larry "LJ" Scott, teammate of 2016 Ohio State commit George Hill, committed to Michigan State.
While Scott was certainly a big fish, Urban Meyer is out there hunting a whale. Here's 2015 commit, Justin Hilliard (on the right), doing work on 2015's No. 1 running back (and former Michigan commit) Damien Harris.
Hopefully I can get my dude @Damien_D1Harris to be a Buckeye pic.twitter.com/5iy85hSQwH
— Justin Hilliard (@JHilliard47) July 11, 2014
(Here's another look.)
Harris told the Cleveland Plain Dealer he'll narrow his list to a final five by the end of August, and he hopes to reach a decision in December so he can early-enroll in the spring.
#TEEN MIGHT BE A ROBOT. You've probably never heard of 13-year-old quarterback Chase Griffin. I've followed the kid on Instagram for a couple months now, and I've started to suspect he's a robot. (Here he is playing violin, because WHY NOT?)
His parents also must have some money, because all this kid does is travel around the country to various football camps. It's as baffling as it is perturbing.
So, I wasn't surprised when an article about Chase appeared on NFL.com:
"He's been around Johnny (Manziel), he's been around Bryce (Petty), he's been around Braxton Miller, been around Everett Golson, Landry Jones and Logan Thomas. He's been around some guys and impactful athletes," quarterback guru George Whitfield Jr. said. "Whether they party with Justin Bieber or lead one of the nation's biggest teams, he's met them and they've embraced him."
[...]
"He's on a magic carpet ride," Whitfield said. "He's so charismatic and there's such a brightness about him. He's like a puppy with really big feet who loves football."
The Round Rock, Texas native started training with Whitfield almost four years ago in San Diego. The unlikely friendship between the two almost never happened had it not been for a clerical error that listed Griffin as a high school quarterback. Instead, it was the then-10 year old that showed up and impressed the coach with his affable nature and determination between the lines.
This either ends with Chase Griffin winning 10 Super Bowl rings or him dying penniless in the plains of Texas with a fiesta of drugs and alcohol in his system he originally ingested to dull the pain of the "failure" of not winning 10 Super Bowl rings.
CARDALE JONES: STILL THE BEST. I think Cardale and I have a different definition of "clutch."
How clutch would that be if you can take a baby outta one chick and out it into another
— Cordale Jones (@Twelve_Nem) July 11, 2014
Not going to lie, Cardale, I've got a lot of questions, here. A lot of questions.
Chiefly, why would any woman want another woman's baby put inside her?
JIM STILLWAGON IS SUING EVERYBODY. 1968 national champion and two-time All-American, Jim Stillwagon, went into business after his footballing career, and as it turns out, he was pretty good at that hustle as well. He's reportedly a millionaire.
It's not a good idea to mess with millionaires, because they have the means and wherewithal to sue the pants off you. From The Columbus Dispatch:
Then, an incident that Delaware Police described as road rage — and the resulting criminal felonious assault charges against Stillwagon — thrust him back in the spotlight in 2012.
The charges were dropped because there wasn't enough evidence that Stillwagon ever shot the man who engaged him in a 14-mile game of cat-and-mouse.
Now he's suing the city of Delaware, detective Benjamin Segaard, officer Adam Willauer, Detective Sgt. Jonathan Radabaugh, former detective Patrick Gerke and Richard Mattingly, the man involved.
A fourteen-mile game of cat-and-mouse? And I thought I was juvenile and reckless.
THOSE WMDs. Police officer shoots ‘aggressive’ tortoise dead...The LeBron James Profile That Nike Killed... So long, Reds... TIL: Ohio has a state soil... Great Lakes Brewery to honor Ohio's 25 astronauts with "Spacewalker" beer... Mo Williams hit LeBron with THAT ETHER... I'm going to pass on that one, Cheetos Arabia... How to make cocaine... Bill Murray's never-released 1984 sci-fi comedy is now online... Writing tips from the CIA's style manual... William Faulkner’s one-paragragh review of Hemingway’s The Old Man and the Sea... The tables have turned...
