AARP Tweets at Urban Meyer on His 50th Birthday, Likely Ruins It

By DJ Byrnes on July 10, 2014 at 2:20p

I remember when my mom turned 50 and how mortified she was when she found a mile-marker-to-her-grave in the form of a "happy birthday" letter from the American Association of Retired People. You know, because she was old and all.

Urban Meyer is a lot more famous than my mom, so naturally he's getting the VIP treatment on his 50th birthday.

Why are you celebrating, AARP? Because Urban Meyer is one year closer to joining your ranks? THERE IS STILL UNFINISHED BUSINESS AT OHIO STATE, YOU GUYS.

Hopefully Urban isn't readying his retirement paperwork until 2358. (I'm a bit higher on the future of medicine than most.)


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Ajake15's picture

Most bad ass 50 year old I've ever met.......

Buster Tillman was underrated

+6 HS
DaveStephens's picture

Old people are dicks.

The Dude abides.

-10 HS
BierStube's picture

"No matter where you go, there you are." B. Banzai

+33 HS
causeicouldntgo43's picture

Brady Hoke...get off of my lawn! (prescription field turf that is)

+1 HS
Oldschoolbuck's picture

Apparently, so are some younger folk (unless you forgot the sarcasm font)!

+11 HS
DaveStephens's picture

Yea, yea I did.  And I was so close to 100!  Womp womp.

Seriously though, my grandma is mean.

The Dude abides.

+22 HS
Oldschoolbuck's picture

I'll give you a UV for your act of contrition :-)

+3 HS
irishfury's picture

I love learning new words.  Thank you adding contrition to my repertoire.

+1 HS
Oldschoolbuck's picture

Lol! That degree from tOSU certainly pays dividends!

buckskin's picture

Every ND fan should know the definition of contrition.

+1 HS
buckeyemanda's picture

Everyone is (see: can be) a dick. That's what makes us human.

Sniff...isn't life beautiful?

+4 HS
DaveStephens's picture

That's deep.

The Dude abides.

+2 HS
Jabba the Hoke's picture

That's why I can't wait until I'm like 80. I'll say and do whatever I want.

+1 HS
RBuck's picture

From a 66 year old, all I can can say is...gee thanks (#@!&*&#!)

Long live the southend.

buckeyemanda's picture

AARP throwing some someone from up north encouraged this!

JK but happy birthday to a bad ass 50 year old!

+1 HS
jamesrbrown322's picture

I love the AARP b/c I always get crazy offers from them since my dad and I have the same name.

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." - Winston Churchill

+2 HS
buckeyedude's picture

Urban and I were born in the same hospital, just 2 months and 11 days apart. Just so u know. We took different paths.



+9 HS
osu407's picture

ESPN paid AARP to do it

+7 HS
TatumRuled's picture

Some computer genius needs to post a 5-O-spelled-out-in-(fake)-bacon-for-Walter-White GIF...

"Hell, Woody didn't recruit me; he recruited my mother!" -Jack Tatum                       

TatumRuled's picture

::slaps forehead:: Shoulda asked for a million dollars...

"Hell, Woody didn't recruit me; he recruited my mother!" -Jack Tatum                       

Earle's picture

Urban had a chat with AARP, and now that he is eligible for their organization, they have agreed to change their name to the American Association of Recruiting People in his honor.

In related news, AARP has committed to The Ohio State University.

Snarkies gonna snark. 

+3 HS
THEOSUfan's picture

Urban and I turned 50 this year.  I can't lie.  It stinks - except being a grandpa is a pretty good deal.  You remember how it felt to be young, but you know you aren't that any longer.  Through your 40's you feel your body changing, but you join with Toby Keith and sing with gusto "but I'm as good once, as I ever was."  I'm not near as good, even once, as I once was.  But I'm wiser, so I hide how far I've slipped.

I hate the AARP because of all the crap they send me (I don't need Viagra yet), and for reasons that are forbidden to be discussed on here.

I work some long days, but I have to cut it shorter than I used to and I have to go to bed earlier, or I don't do too well.  You turn 50 and you start thinking, "Man, if I live a normal lifespan, I've got another 25 years before I'm out of here.  I'd better get focused on what's most important."  I bet Urban is thinking exactly that way (hint: he won't think Ohio State football is most important).  And that has an impact on how you prioritize your work vs. home.  How will that affect his coaching performance?  It might help, but he needs to be a good delegator. Lots of guys have been huge successes in coaching in their 50's and 60's, but they didn't do it by acting like they were 30.

+8 HS
Idaho Helga's picture

If you want to read a very funny book, read Bill Geist's "The Big FIve -OH!".   His chapter on AARP is the funniest one in it.

He went to an AARP meeting and quickly figured out they didn't want anything from him except his money until he would turn 65.

+3 HS
airbuckeye's picture

I remember my 50th yearssss ago and what was pulled on me by my sister and daughter. They gave me a cake that was all done in Black and White with black ballons and the Grim Ripper on it. The cake read im just here for the party ot you. They thought that was funny as hell LOL it was ok because i always out top people on jokes.have no idea what 65 will be like in a few years but i refuse to slow down bad heart and all.

+1 HS
Phillips.449's picture

Well we can all tell Sammy Silverman did NOT produce that AARP The Magazine cover!

+1 HS
CentralFloridaBuckeye's picture

Happy Birthday Coach! 

Go Bucks!

whiskeyjuice's picture

Happy B Day!!!

"Championships are not won on Saturdays in November. Championships are won on Tuesdays in August." -- Kerry Combs

CowCat's picture

Cue Florida reporters in 3 ... 2 ... 1 ...

"Urban Meyer celebrates 50th. Bill Muschamp not given cake or ice cream"

"We get paid to score touchdowns, not kick field goals"
-- Urban Meyer

+2 HS
Menexenus's picture

Dude, that is harsh! You just turn 50, and you're on the COVER of an AARP magazine.  That's bad news that you can't ignore.

Real fans stay for Carmen.

Canukbuck's picture

Interesting coincidence - Today is my 60th birthday, while my mother-in-law (who passed away two years ago), also has the same birth date as me.  July 10th - only the best of the best were born on that day (it was also the day the Allies invaded Sicily and my sister was born on June 6th (D-Day)) .... Happy Birthday, Urban !!


+1 HS
VintonCountyBuck's picture

You were lucky.  All I ever get for my birthdays are stupid cards.

Man.. I invaded Sicily once.  She still hasn't forgave me for that.

“Right now, Michigan is not at the pinnacle of college football, and that’s all Urban Meyer cares about...He’s been there and knows what it takes to get there.” 

+1 HS
nm_buck's picture

Happy birthday Urbs, from a fellow five decader.  Just remember two things:

50 is the new 47.


The older you get, the better you were.

That is all.

"The future is bright at Ohio State."  - Urban Meyer 1/1/15

+1 HS
Jabba1977's picture

Happy birthday Urban! You are the man!!


ShowThemOhiosHere's picture

Go away AARP, he's not retiring anytime soon.  It's not gone happen.

Class of 2010.