Eleven Warriors

On the last installment of Ye Olde Youtube Theatre Friday, we explored the dark and sinister world of transcriber bots, whose ability to peer into the depths of the souls of Brent Musburger and Kirk Herbstreit and expose the secrets of the Illuminati's connection to NCAA football left us all shocked and appalled. But that was months ago, when we were still submerged in the horrible horrible quagmire that we call the offseason. Now, with but a few short weeks until football begins for realsies, I think maybe it's time to think about all of the good that Youtube can do in terms of Ohio State football. I'm speaking of course of the time honored tradition of the HIGHLIGHT VIDEO. I absolutely love highlight videos, because oftentimes they speak more about the person making the video than the actual topic of said video. Though it has become easier and easier to throw a highlight video together, a lot of times they are a labor of love. Each stylistic choice can become a life or death decision. Which game highlights should I use? Who should I focus on? Should I use a Disturbed song, or a Drowning Pool song? How many times should I reverse the video to show off a really sick stiff-arm? 8 times? 12 times? Should I spell check my intro textahahah of course not. After the process is complete, the masterpiece is added to the great eternal multitude of timewasting beauty known as the Youtube library. After the cut is a small selection of my favorite Ohio State Youtube highlight videos; in addition, the overall purpose of this post is to create something of a library of great OSU highlight videos, so if you have any to add, please feel free to do so in the comments.

Usually I'm somewhat wary of videos that take an idea and then find a song that exactly expresses that idea (eg, a video about big hits that uses BOOM HERE COMES THE BOOM HERE COMES THE BOOM etc) but this one works perfectly and, intentional or not, the timing is sublime. Yes. Momma will knock you out.

This video contains no music and little special editing, but it holds a spot very near to my heart, as this was the first Michigan game I ever attended. Also the thrill of watching one man completely wreck a highly favored Wolverine team never ever gets old.

Sometimes a highlight video can make every mistake (and this one certainly does, from a cliche choice of music, to poor spelling, to hastily added difficult to read red text), and I'll still love it. Also has anyone brought up how weirdly homoerotic that Penn State "Cryor" shirt is?

A lot of people like this video because of the use of Black Betty, which I am kind of down with despite wishing they had used the Ram Jam version. But what really makes this video shine  is Andrew WK (or is it Steev Mike?) on the back end of things. Because truthfully, when I saw Teddy running flat out with no one in front of him, I definitely felt like partying hard.

NSFW Lyrics

Definitely my favorite video of all time. Rage makes everything great, and though I guess the implication is that we (Ohio State) are the abhorrent and amoral explorers and conquistadors who raped and pillaged their way through the New World (Ann Arbor), something about Sleep Now In The Fire works perfectly for that last drive against Michigan in 2005.

Anyway, that's what I've got, so I hope you enjoy this little side track before we get to the nitty-gritty here in the coming weeks.