It's been a real long week over here in glorious Japan. I'm coming back home, permanently, in August, so I've had to start saying goodbye to a lot of the people I've enjoyed meeting and the things I've enjoyed doing while over here. The rainy season has started, meaning that when everything isn't sopping wet it is blazing hot. There are these two spiders that hang right over my apartment entrance, just waiting for me to ignore them so they can drop in my hair and cause me to shriek like Ned Flanders. And I've begun to realize that the little white round things inside the breaded mackerel we eat for lunch at school aren't some kind of super advanced Japanese protein supplement, as I've deluded myself into thinking. They're eggs. And also probably balls. Maybe mostly balls. Anyways, after a long week in the offseason filled with difficulties in Japan and attempted (conference) murder, intrigue, and scheming shadowy organizations stateside (see? Nostradamus was right), it's always good to end the week by kicking back and taking in some of our old favorites on the Youtubes. I'm speaking of course of our most recent victory over the mighty Ducks of Oregon, most of whom I think are now playing their football for the Mean Machine. Of course, I wouldn't mention that I live in Japan for the thousandth time for no reason (yes I would), and the second half of today's show comes with a Japanese style twist: robots. Or, to be more specific, transcriber robots. Not that anything is actually transcribed. That is to say, transcribed accurately. To elaborate, Youtube has a feature that allows the viewer to read subtitles automatically generated by a man sitting in a booth randomly pointing to words in a dictionary, an option our friends at Youtube describe as "Transcribe Audio." In its finished state, it will be a boon to the deaf and hard of hearing. Currently, it is a dark look into the murky subconscious where few dare to tread. The soothing tones of Brent Musberger and Kirk Herbstreit are still there, but now, finally, you can see the secret messages they've been relaying to the Trilateral Commission without having to remove your tinfoil hat (thank God). There are two parts to this game summary, the first without subtitles and the second that does have them. The more intrepid of you can simply click this link for the first video and this link for the second, select the "Transcribe Audio" option on the CC menu bar, and you're off! For those who are lazy and/or extremely excited to see more of my writing, I've summarized the second video below, with the special Illuminati robot commentary intact. Enjoy. Not a great start, robot overlords. Not. A. Great. Start.
Jean-Claude Van Damme, New World Order super spy.
This is where things start to get a little scary.
Kenyan? You don't think Brent is trying to tell us... OH MY GOD HE IS.
Brent begins to become exhausted from the constant revelations.
But he soldiers on, knowing the stakes.
Finally though, a ray of hope and truth parts the clouds.
Right on. Thanks to NWsports 200 on YouTube for facilitating this craziness. Also if the New World Order is in fact real, I would like to emphasize that I was only kidding here and after the coming revolution would like to avoid working in your salt mines if at all possible.
Comments
welp, wordpress is in full freakout mode here so if anyone is wondering why this posts ends so abruptly/you can't make comments/any other crazy thing, that is the reason why.
i for one welcome our new robot overlords.
ZOLTAN!
That Clay Travis write up on Fanhouse is epic. What a turd.
Just remember that this guy cheers for an entire conference like the rest down there. I like how he thinks Colt McCoy getting hurt is the result of superior SEC defense and not a "golden BB" striking on the opening offensive series. Nebraska's defense was 10x tougher than the 'Bama defense.
BTW...Anyone notice that today is day 2,400 since Michigan' last victory over Ohio State in football !!!!!!
It's also delicious when an SEC homer writer calls out other programs for being cowards, and SEC programs refuse to leave the South to play away games for the last several decades.
The guy is writing to his audience. He's no different than a religious or political person in the media who says outrageous things to spark a reaction. He like them, doesn't believe most of the crap he is saying, but he knew it would get people fired up on the Texas end and SEC people agreeing blindly.
haha, wow, i actually tried watching that second video and had to stop it cuz i was getting far too confused and yet amused while watching that.
Crazy but guns!!!
Can "we this all the time" be the new "all your base are belong to us"? F5
What's truly hilarious is that Travis is a fan of a team, Tennessee, that's gone 7-9 in the SEC over the last two years, and is staring down the barrel of a 5-7-at-best season next year. And he's talking about how Texas, one of the most talented teams in the country every single year, "can't compete" in the SEC. Because I'm sure Texas was quaking in its boots about the possibility of playing Auburn, Kentucky, Mississippi State and Ole Miss.
Or Oregon, Arizona, UCLA and Colorado for that matter.
What a massively hypocritical tool.
F5 and so forth....
Who's counting?
I rather continue to count how many times in a freeking row we've beaten those Crapperines! Soon to be seven!
This post reminds me of an old Japanese import 45 single I had of Led Zeppelin's "The Immigrant Song". I bought it because back then (circa 1981) it was the only way you could get a recorded version of the song "Hey Hey What Can I Do?" I found this Japanese import version at a local record store and bought it on the spot. When I looked at the cover sleeve, I could see that they had the lyrics to "The Immigrant Song" printed in both Japanese and English. But the English version was massively, hilariously wrong on almost every line. So for example "fighting the horde" became "fighting the haul", "our only goal will be the Western shore" became "I wanna go where there's rest and shore", and so forth. It was a riot.
http://www.musicstack.com/item...
Yeah, Travis is a failed lawyer out of Vanderbilt that loves all things Southern. The sort of Southern frat douche that we all love to hate.
To be fair, I do respect Tennessee for agreeing to a home and home with Ohio State. They are one of the few, if not only, SEC programs that is willing to take on a big-boy outside of their home turf.
Georgia's getting the right idea by scheduling teams like Arizona State, well outside their comfort zone. Same for Tennessee, who also has schedule a home-and-home series against Oregon. I give Bama half-credit for scheduling Penn State. The rest? Pretty much all cowards.
Bama, actually has gone out and played some tough teams non conference games. They took on Va Tech Last year, Clemson the year before, when they were ranked top 10 peseason, now the Penn State game. I've said for a while now that Bama, Tennessee, and Georgia were pretty respectable for doing that.
I can even understand some of the bottom and midling teams scheduling week non conference, how else would Kentucky get a bowl? But LSU, Florida, Auburn seriously, where you at for non conference? Florida played one legit tough team last year in Alabama, and they had one loss.
Its funny how everyone seems to forget how dominant the SEC has been. Hey buckeyes how many days since you have beaten an SEC opponent? You rip the article without understanding what he is saying. Texas did not save the Big 12/10 whatever you want to call it now they just got a better offer. That being said they will bolt as soon as they realize the TV money isn't really there. Keep fighting for second place because when you are honest with yourselves you know which conference has the best teams and the most talent. Enjoy your Nebraska Penn St game you can call it the has been bowl.
this guy sounds like a vandy fan chanting "SEC"
either that or he has a floppy haircut and wears jorts.
that doesn't make any sense, why would we call it a bowl if it's in the regular season? I know football is kinda new to you SEC folks, but come on, that's pretty basic
sec "education"
Lol seems realist is suffering from keyboard bravery and fantasies from recent success of a conference. Too bad the conference doesn't have a mascot, then we might consider you a team. Troll elsewhere. "Yawn"
Come on SouthBay. Doesn't Mr Realist deserve your trademark retarded sound?
You know what, he does. Maybe you can do the honors. Consider it me extending the olive branch.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...
40 sec mark
Larnin' aint got nothin ta do wit speeeeeeeeeeeeeeed feller
hoooo-weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Ah, realist you rascal. Which team in the SEC do you root for? All of them of course, just making conversation. It must be nice ignoring your teams loss while claiming victory for any of the teams in your conference that happen to be winning. That makes it much easier than rooting for a single team like everyone else, huh? But maybe someone will beat the entire SEC someday. Maybe the fans of that team will loudly and repeatedly chant the name of their conference even though 3/4 of that conference isn't special. And maybe the teams from their conference will stop traveling out of conference to play. And then all the bowl games can be held in their region of the country every year so they can have (more or less) home-field advantage (which will be conveniently ignored by those conference fans).
LOL!
Mr. realist gives retards a bad name. Derka Derb!
Why do those sec idiots even read OSU blogs in the first place?
Because of the genius writing, duh
No, it just makes them FEEL smart since we don't talk LIKEE THEEESEEE
You said "SEC" and "read" in the same sentence. You know better than that.
Big 10 leads the SEC 91-86-6 in bowl games. So what were we talking about?
Auburn would destroy Texas. Texas is soft.
that's pretty funny bc watching that clip, i could've sworn that those white trash unemployable dicktards were from the rust belt!
lol
i mean, it's not like the Southeast has trouble maintaining manufacturing jobs or opening (and keeping open) new auto plants...oh irony, i love when you molest such ignorance. just like tOSU loves to be molested by the SEC. (0-9)
it doesn't make sense to schedule away games with other football powerhouses bc we have conference games with talented teams. argue that we have a less dominant top 8 teams than any other conference...now
btw, UTennessee had a home and home w UCLA.
UGA also had one w Colorado. (in addition to beating the ACC champ or runner-up regularly, as have South Carolina, Alabama, and Florida) when's the last time any Big(integer) team beat another conference champion excepting last year's pitiful Oregon Ducks team (who had already lost to Boise State muahaha)
and the comment about the 'has-been' bowl was intended as humor, i'm sure. i know it's hard to laugh when your conference deserves to be relegated to a lower tier of CFB. :-)
i love how a few (9ish, depending on whether you include the 'stolen' title from Miami) years of football mediocrity have you midwest football fans trumpeting how CFB is all about quality education....derka derb.
use your Big(integer) 'education' to refute any of this, please.
-not trollin' just informing. :-)
I find it funny that this is a football blog and everyone wants to bring up education. Does the URL have an EDU at the end? I am sure Pryor is the next Rhodes Scholar.
hurr durr hurr durr hurr durr hurr durr.