Purdue Keys to Victory
Boiled Sports, Home of Sideboob FridaysWith another big conference game up this weekend, we checked in with the guys at Boiled Sports to get their keys to a victory over the Buckeyes. They’re not quite ready to call this one a lock for Purdue, but they do have a list of things Purdue should look to do to leave Columbus with the win.
The following are, in our opinion, a number of keys to potential victory for the Boilers. Okay, maybe not victory, but to a slightly increased chance of victory.
- Beanie Wells is run over by a cement mixer on his way to practice on Friday.
- Terrell Pryor gets his foot caught in a Jacuzzi motor and is unable to make the game. Understand, we’re not saying he would be unable to play due to injury – we’re saying he would need to be stuck and physically being unable to make it to the ‘shoe. Because, if he did, even with one foot we’re still a little afraid of him.
- aOSU’s locker room door is welded shut or at least jammed closed by an axe handle.
- Drew Brees, ever the prankster, arrives in Columbus and dons Curtis Painter’s uniform, helmet and blank stare.
- Brock Spack falls asleep after having a yummy pumpkin pie and in his absence, the team forgets that they’re not allowed to blitz – ever – and actually gets aggressive.
- A lawn mower gains AI and plows through the OSU sideline.
- A pretty girl shows up and the Ohio-based team is so flabbergasted that they lose focus on the game.
- Purdue comes out wearing USC jerseys. Especially effective with USC’s players.
- Maurice Clarett stumbles drunkenly onto the field, insisting he “still has eligibility” and proceeds to take the ball and run a sweep left while carrying his Grey Goose bottle(s), only his “sweep” looks like people look after they’ve done the “spin your head on a bat” thing and he falls down, fumbles and Purdue takes it to the house.
- The Boilers are able to literally bend the space-time continuum because that happens as frequently as the Boilers beating a top ten team… on the road.
Damn, Maurice does still have eligibility left, doesn’t he. That’d be a nice perk for all the doods that have kept their #13 Buckeye jerseys in storage since summer 2003.
What do you mean storage? We’ve been wearing it in honor of good ol’ Andre Amos! Represent!
This was a great list, guys. Thanks for the laughs =D
I’ve been waiting for any good #13 OSU player for years to bring mine out
oops, no offense andre amos
You think a cement mixer is going to stop Beanie Wells?
Actually, we sent those to Jason with formatting and a “Key 1″ through “Key 10″ style…. Jason, Jason, Jason. We’re going to have to work on your formatting. Much like Curtis Painter needs to work on reading formation.
Glad you all enjoyed.
Yeah that’s good stuff J Money, I was just a first time visitor to your blog and I like your style, especially the motivational purdue poster-pics, keep up the good work
#13 jersey — just add the name Janakievski to it. Vlade’s a legend.
#13, wears the Grey Goose got to get my goose on cheers to Maurice.
Amen Poe, that line should have read:
“Beanie Wells runs over a cement mixer on his way to practice Friday prompting both construction and medical personnel to spend the next two days trying to not only unwrap a mack truck drive shaft from the 20 yr old’s leg, but unearth the concrete mixer from the oblivion that number 28’s stiff arm had left it.”
You know, something like that is a little more believable. You remember the Marshall Faulk commercial a few years back when he was being chased by cars, trucks, choppers and planes? Think that but with Beanie running towards them…..
The closer we get to game day, the more and more I believe this game becomes more and more important.
Last weeks win over Wisconson couldn’t have been scripted any better for the coaching staff. We won a tight game in a harsh environment. It allowed the players and coaching staff to see that when the game is on the line, they can deliver. I think that win will pay HIGH dividends in the next coming weeks.
This week we need to do what everyone expects and win big and look good doing it. I think it’s really important that this team plays the best game they have played this season so they can carry that momentum against PSU, MSU and Illinois.
I know I may be stating the obveious, but a 14…hell even a 21 point game, isn’t going to be good enough. We need to look crisp. We need a HUGE “stat” game from every individual player. I really believe that a sluggish, ugly win on Saturday could really kill us as the season progresses.
That being said, I think the second half of the Wisconson game and this game is what we will look back on and say “Those two games changed our season around.” I’d look for Pryor to have a break out game (on paper) 300+ yards total and Beanie close to a 200 yard effort.
This game is MUCH bigger than some are making it out to be!
also…
Not “Breaking News”, but we will see more Posey and Thomas on Saturday. Small could be out the entire game and Thomas is listed as a starter ( from what I hear ) on KR. I think we also may see Thomas in a varity of sets as well, both as a WR and in the back field ( a la Army All American Game ).
For some reason this game has me REALLY fired up….
Fun read.
I think Purdue matches up kind of nicely with OSU… well, at least their offense. On the other side I doubt they’ll be able to keep our backfield contained but I don’t think we’ll blow anyone out for the remainder of the season. I just don’t see that in our offense.
J.B. – You’re setting yourself up for dissappointment. The only way we absolutely throttle Purdue this weekend is if we can pressure Painter without the blitz. Not gonna happen.
aOSU fans- pick a part of the Bucks game that’s struggling…instead of attacking/exploiting it, Tiller will help the vest and company strengthen it and correct it. Look for your least likely player to look like an All-American…Perhaps you Boekman fans should rally for him to play Saturday.
Who are “Boeckman fans”? I don’t believe there are any of those…
Todd’s family?
No, they wear number 2 jerseys also.
fans from INDIANA are saying Ohio girls are ugly!? ;)