Bonjour!
After much thought, I decided to retire my crown as King of Canada.
Due to the checkered pasts of my cats, customs agents denied their entry into the world's maple syrup capital. I am back where I belong, albeit now operating more incognito as I believe at least one of them to be under some sort of federal investigation.
GET DUMPED THEN, MICHIGAN. The Opening concluded yesterday, and though J.K Dobbins won the combine, Ohio State's fortunes didn't fare as well in seven-on-sevens.
Tate Martell, Tyjon Lindsey, and Trevon Grimes' team got knocked out early. And then Lunarbeast, another team riddled with Buckeye prospects, fell short to a team with Michigan commits. Some individual Buckeyes did shine, though.
From landof10.com:
The real Buckeyes 7-on-7 team The Opening was Team Lunarbeast, which featured six different future Buckeyes. On Sunday morning, they too were a bit shaky to start the day and didn’t get their offense unhinged until Syracuse commitment Tommy DeVito lit up the Mach Speed team in the second half of the early game. Ultimately, they couldn’t get past Hypercool, who had just eliminated Martell and Alpha Pro the game before.
J.K. Dobbins was effective out of the backfield, Marcus Williamson played very well as did Shaun Wade, though he sat out the final game of the day after a minor leg injury that he didn’t want to risk making it worse. Brendon White once again was all over the field for Lunarbeast, adding an interception return for a touchdown to an impressive weekend. He was the only Lunarbeast player I saw that didn’t miss a play on defense.
(Andrew's full breakdown can be viewed over here.)
Fret not, Buckeye fans. The state of Ohio State recruiting is not crumbling before your eyes. Seven-on-sevens are fake football. I'm more concerned with tug of war, which is a game of strength and will.
It's no surprise Ohio State, anchored by five-star and Opening Final Five offensive lineman Wyatt Davis, overwhelmed Michigan in the same fashion we fans have come to know and love since Jim Tressel road south from Youngstown and seized the Iron Throne.
HASKINS HAS A CREW. Freshman QB Dwayne Haskins probably won't play in 2016. That doesn't mean he can't put his battle ax to the grindstone.
Here's Haskins working out with fellow freshmen Binjimen Victor and Demario McCall. Though not featured in the video, Haskins tagged redshirt freshman Torrance Gibson as in attendance as well.
The strength of his arm is obvious, and it also appears Haskins has slimmed down.
If you think Jim Bollman loved Dave, be thankful I'll never take the reins of the offense. I would run nothing but deep balls to Ben Victor (who looked like he added an extra gear near the end of that first catch) and wheel routes to Demario McCall.
TALENTED #TEEN RELEASES TOP 6. Ohio State's 2017 recruiting class drips with talent on all levels, especially at offensive line, with two five-stars in Josh Myers and Wyatt Davis and Jake Moretti, a high four-star.
Now, it could add Trey Smith, who 247 lists as the No. 1 OT prospect in the class. To get him, it must beat Tennessee, Alabama, Notre Dame, Clemson, and Ole Miss.
Top 6 pic.twitter.com/0dvvd709fl
— Trey Smith (@smithtrey98) July 10, 2016
Ohio State trails all those schools in Smith's crystal ball chart. Yet, you can never count out Touchdown Urban Meyer and Greg Studrawa.
Here's a tweet from April crafted by Davis, who was then a free agent:
I just want to thank everyone who has been recruiting me in this process it truly means a lot to me. pic.twitter.com/ZPmYS2hobc
— Wavy Dub (@wyattdavis53) April 6, 2016
Makes you think, if anything.
I FORGIVE YOU DRUE (I THINK). I am openly bigoted against two kinds of people: Teenagers and non-Australian punters.
After watching this video from Buckeye freshman punter Drue Chrisman, however, I am reconsidering my stance on American punters.
Haters gonna say it's fake... pic.twitter.com/rUt6z7oG3p
— Drue Chrisman (@DChrisman18) July 8, 2016
Sorry, teenagers. Don't even get your hopes up. I plan to continue subsidizing my income by setting y'all up for armed robberies using Pokémon Go. Your only path to redemption is still an Ohio State scholarship.
SATAN'S MITTEN: RUDE. Travel + Leisure released a list of America's rudest cities. Miami, Phoenix, New York, Los Angeles, and Philadelphia led the list.
Michigan also caught some shade.
From travelandleisure.com:
Unsociable locals aside, Detroit is undeniably the country’s comeback kid. We called it one of the best places to travel this year,, thanks to a boutique hotel boom, almost 100 new restaurants, and an attractive new riverfront park. And while readers called out locals for being rude, they raved just as much about the pizza and music scene. Watch out Nashville and New York.
[...]
Ann Arbor residents may have come off as rude, but visitors also say they’re notably hip and intelligent. Hoards of students also make for excellent people watching. If you’re visiting Ann Arbor, you can get on locals’ good side by sporting a U of M sweatshirt or by discussing your experience at the Nichols Arboretum.
I've only driven through Detroit; its sports radio scene is a hell hole, but I've never been keen on kicking a flea-bitten dog sleeping off a three-decade bender on a bench outside a boutique hotel.
As for Ann Arbor, those people act as if they live in Paris. I have no idea what Nichols Arboretum is but it should be demolished nonetheless.
As for the friendliest cities in America, Travel + Leisure listed San Antonio, Houston, and Madison.
THOSE WMDs. Video: Pakistan's camel-mounted military bagpipe band... China's trawlers are emptying Guinea's oceans... Blood on the Corn: The murder and torture of a DEA agent... Welcome to the new prostitution economy... Cellphones have an FM chip; why can't they listen to radio?
