You may find that work, school, or other obligations keep you from focusing on Twitter the way you should. Thankfully for you, I'm able to tune out those distractions and provide you with a weekly rundown of the best tweets from around campus.
You'll notice that none of these tweets mention the team's trip to the White House. That's because those tweets were so awesome they got their own article.
.@OSUCoachMeyer Miller, Jones, Barrett: marry one, kill one, cut one. GO
— Fake Bo Pelini (@FauxPelini) April 18, 2015
That's 98,000 not counting quarterbacks RT @OhioStAthletics: NATIONAL SPRING GAME ATTENDANCE RECORD set today in #TheShoe 99,391
— Fake Bo Pelini (@FauxPelini) April 18, 2015
Let me be clear: Faux Pelini is the ONLY parody account that will ever make its way into this rundown. Faux's tweets are pure gold. All other parody accounts are trash.
74 yards... catch me with a fresh arm, 80+ https://t.co/HE3JPdSoFm
— Cardale Jones (@CJ12_) April 18, 2015
Pretty sore from standing on the sideline
— Joey Bosa (@jbbigbear) April 18, 2015
Had I known 12 was gone tackle me, I would've dropped that shoulder on em. #IAintScared #DroppingMyShoulderOnHimIsLikeThrowingAGrapeAtHim
— Fidel Ca$hflow (@1Tyvis) April 19, 2015
#LooksLikeTyvisPowellHasADegreeFromTheCoachCoombsSchoolOfHashtags
@CoachZachSmith throw it to the left tackle #Zone6
— Jamarco Jones (@jjones_74) April 18, 2015
Dilly Bars take a road trip. Primetime on @ABCNetwork, @ESPN or ESPN2. pic.twitter.com/SuI8MOY05J
— Minnesota Football (@GopherFootball) April 23, 2015
Congrats @EzekielElliott on the #AAUSullivanAward !!
— Mackenzie Bart (@MissOhio14) April 19, 2015
I think it's fair to say getting congratulated by Miss Ohio for your accomplishments wouldn't suck.
I love chicken
— Daniel Giddens (@DGOOD__) April 20, 2015
Whenever I wanna be sneaky I put on @elflein65 's camo crocs because then my feet will be invisible #science #aliens
— Taylor Decker (@TDeck68) April 24, 2015
The things you find in the refrigerator of 4 college students when you finally clean it out...
— Kyle Berger (@K_Bergs) April 18, 2015
Can vouch. Ever seen a petrified banana? I have.
@BuckeyeEdge: RT for @1Tyvis FAV for @ErinAndrews pic.twitter.com/59ZUxes3Ub> I even favorited this. Do u see her??!!!! lol
— Fidel Ca$hflow (@1Tyvis) April 21, 2015
@Cantguardmike thanks for talking to my excited 4yr old @ the spring game today #BuckeyeNation pic.twitter.com/6FNHqGWGHZ
— Adam Jones (@brentadamjones) April 18, 2015
Took me to the last day of lab to realize my partners were Dontre Wilson and Jamarco Jones
— Kurt Shaffer (@iamreallykurt) April 22, 2015
Not sure how this happens. Not only is one of these guys 6-foot-6 and 310 pounds, but they also have matching backpacks with their names and a picture of a football printed on them.
@BlockO_GYM @OSUGymnast23 I'm down
— Darron Lee (@DLeeMG8) April 19, 2015
The guy on pawn stars has a "buddy" to call for literally everything
— Sean Nuernberger (@Sean4Heisman1) April 23, 2015
President Obama asked us to be in his Christmas card for this year! How could we say no? pic.twitter.com/q2ATRPz8fp
— OSU Specialists (@BuckSpecialists) April 21, 2015
Chipotle needs the fast lane passes like Cedar Point lol but it's worth the wait pic.twitter.com/ciSWvds6PL
— Cardale Jones (@CJ12_) April 22, 2015
Oh no... #TheBeginningOfTheEnd pic.twitter.com/gd7NTIb61O
— OSU BBall Managers (@OSUManagers) April 24, 2015
I was hoping we would do a satellite camp in Hawaii or the Bahamas
— Mark Pantoni (@markpantoni) April 24, 2015
This, of course, is in response to Jim Harbaugh's invitation to Michigan's football camp.
Mike Bennett Learns the Truth About Nazis and Aliens
Mike Bennett gets his own little section here because these tweets are just too wonderful. I'm about 96% sure he's talking about the History Channel show Ancient Aliens, if you're into that sort of thing.
History channel needs to calm down and get back to history. Talkin about how the nazis were helped by aliens. They're just bored now
— Mike (@mike63bennett) April 18, 2015
It's possible that fields of glass have been found but history channel doesn't know so they'll just assume they exist
— Mike (@mike63bennett) April 18, 2015
Hitler was a devout Hindu. Genies are real and they're aliens
— Mike (@mike63bennett) April 18, 2015
Hitler almost figured out time travel instead of the atom bomb.
— Mike (@mike63bennett) April 18, 2015
Just want to clarify, I'm 100% sober. In a hotel in Indy bored out of my mind
— Mike (@mike63bennett) April 18, 2015
Unfollow at will. See if we can trim the fat.
— Mike (@mike63bennett) April 18, 2015
The moment you stop caring about how many followers you have is the moment when twitter gets exponentially more fun. It appears that Mike has figured that out.
Nazis made a bell that could fly. Or something. I still don't get it
— Mike (@mike63bennett) April 18, 2015
Now I understand. The bell was a time machine
— Mike (@mike63bennett) April 18, 2015
Hans gobbler stole the bell and disappeared. Went to another planet. Not possible that they just ran away. That would be ridiculous
— Mike (@mike63bennett) April 18, 2015
Nazis figured out time travel and still lost the war. That's how you know you suck
— Mike (@mike63bennett) April 18, 2015
this week's winner of twitter
@bearfoley give me a couple weeks, I'm about to go buy it now, if I lose you have to reimburse me for buying NHL
— Cardale Jones (@CJ12_) April 24, 2015
On the surface this tweet isn't that great, but let's take a look at what's actually going on here. You all remember that 98-35 beatdown Dolodale gave to Jared Foley in the hospital? Well, now Jared wants a rematch, but not in NCAA. He wants Cardale to play him in NHL 15. The only problem is that Cardale has never played NHL 15. So is he just going to go into this contest ill-prepared and certainly be beaten by Jared? Hell no. According to this tweet, Cardale went out and bought the game so he can spend the next couple weeks training to crush Jared at his own game. THAT, ladies and gents, is a competitor.
Follow Friday:
- Buckeye Specialists: @BuckSpecialists
- Stephen Collier: @S13Collier
