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Victim of workplace prank, need retaliation ideas

johnblairgobucks's picture
August 25, 2014 at 7:56pm
112 Comments

So last year, I took a Ghost Pepper into work, and asked a guy if he wanted to try a hot pepper, but didn't tell him it was twice as hot as a habanero...... He didn't ask either.  He ate it, and was hurting for about 20 minutes.  Got a good laugh at it and moved on. 

Today, I took a Trinidad Maruga Scorpion Pepper I grew into work, and asked the guy if he wanted to try it.  He said heck no, but he said he would take it, and use it to make some spicy chili later.  I gave it to him and went downstairs to talk to my boss.  Comeback 10 minutes later and start drinking my coffee, and my coworker had taken the Scorpion Pepper and rubbed it around the rim of my coffee mug.  So I spit the coffee out and go into the restroom to wash my mouth and hands, in doing so, nature called and I sat on the throne, but my co worker had smeared the Scorpion Peeper over the toilet seat..   15 minutes later, I was hurting..... So much so, I had to go home, take a shower and change my underwear.... The Pepper oil had gotten all over, and I felt like I was on fire from the waist down. I looked in the mirror before showering, because my ass felt like it had blistered and I had a raised-red mark on my keister that mimicked the toilet seat.   The shower helped, I went back to work and 2 hours later, the burn went away, but I need to get this guy back.

any retaliation ideas?

buckeyephaninphilly's picture

figure it out yourself.

OH- IO

-11 HS
buckguyfan1's picture

Take it easy big guy.

+5 HS
buckeyephaninphilly's picture

simple solution. buy your co worker some one direction pencils...boom! 

OH- IO

-11 HS
dubjayfootball90's picture

You can feed a bobcat all the chili it wants. That don't mean it's going to crap out diamonds.

+8 HS
bethmowins's picture

The Carolina Reaper is hotter so that should be next. But what to do with it...

+2 HS
johnblairgobucks's picture

Ask him to play Fletch charades and Bamm!

+5 HS
Baroclinicity's picture

Moooooooooooooooon River... thank you Doc... ever serve time?

When you're holding a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

+7 HS
1MechEng's picture

The Babar picture in the back is priceless! Love this movie ...

+3 HS
Optimistic Buckeye Pessimist's picture

I don't know. Sounds to me like you got what you deserved. 

Read my entire screen name....

+28 HS
johnblairgobucks's picture

The pepper on my coffee cup was getting even.  The pepper on the seat was clear escalation.  I guess I should feel lucky to not get any pepper oil in around my eyes (thank proper hygiene for that).

+1 HS
Oyster's picture

I say you call it even and move on.  This is how wars get started.  Little known fact.  The Ten Year War was not about the long time assistant to Coach Hayes going to that school.  It was brewing from an office prank and escalated.  It is told that Bo set up Coach Hayes with the old water fountain prank a few years earlier, things kept going back and forth and the rest is history. 

Oh, and you started it.  He is just getting you back.

May you R.I.P. Otsego, but know this. Gaylord Rocks!

+10 HS
Baroclinicity's picture

Seems hard to top without crossing any lines...

When you're holding a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

+4 HS
johnblairgobucks's picture

Can Ex-Lax brownies be considered assault?

+6 HS
Baroclinicity's picture

I think the amount of Ex-Lax used would be crucial to that judgement.  Harry would have some input...

When you're holding a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

+5 HS
buckeyedude's picture

This is a really good idea. My brother gave me some chocolate Ex-Lax when I was a stupid kid, and I had the squirts for quite a while.

Do this one.

 

 

+1 HS
ShowThemOhiosHere's picture

Weed brownies.  Hopefully he eats several.  You're welcome :)

Class of 2010.

+2 HS
brandonbauer87's picture

I need to know more about the workplace. If you could tell me what job you both do, I could make this more specific. If you work with computers, I know quite a few tricks. 

johnblairgobucks's picture

We both work in the HVAC field, and what we do, depends on the day.  The closest he comes to using a computer during the day, is texting on his phone.

+2 HS
brandonbauer87's picture

HVAC repair? Sales? Manufacturing? 

johnblairgobucks's picture

Repairs, service and installation.

+2 HS
brandonbauer87's picture

You could just disable his tools. Batteries and fuses out of multimeters. Bulbs out of flashlights. Loosen the hoses on his gauge set. 

+2 HS
johnblairgobucks's picture

Yeah, a little tool Tom Foolery.   Might glue his screwdrivers together.

+1 HS
brandonbauer87's picture

A little anti-seize goes a long way, too. That stuff spreads everywhere, and isn't easy to clean. 

+1 HS
OSU_1992_UFM's picture

I put anti seize on an ex's windshield wipers, well what do u know it rained the next day. I drove by to see the fruits of my labor...and let me tell you that shit does not come off. Looked like a monkey shit in their hand and proceeded to cover said windshield

UFM_Renewal

rosycheeks's picture

Brandon, I'm on the lookout for a nice harmless prank, so hit me with some ideas. I'm in the tech field, so we're on computers all day. A guy recently got me with the nCage extension for Chrome that replaces all pics with a pic of Nicolas Cage. Hilarious. I'd like to get him back.

+1 HS
brandonbauer87's picture

My computer pranks probably won't work in a tech field. They're more designed for people who work with computers, but don't have a great understanding. 

One of my favorites is switching the mouse buttons so that the left and right clicks now have different functions. If you're crazy, you could switch up to down as well. Another option is to switch letters on the keyboard. This only works if the victim looks to type. Possibly the best is to capture the screen and save the picture. Set it as the background, and drag all the icons into one folder. Stash that folder in a corner somewhere. Watching them repeatedly click what appears to be IE is priceless. 

+10 HS
tussey's picture

Possibly the best is to capture the screen and save the picture. Set it as the background, and drag all the icons into one folder. Stash that folder in a corner somewhere. Watching them repeatedly click what appears to be IE is priceless. 

I might have to try this one. 

NW Buckeye's picture

Pranking people with hot peppers is on the verge of assault and battery.  Asking someone if they want to try a hot pepper and giving them a ghost pepper is bad enough, but him rubbing the pepper oil on your cup and then the toilet seat is very dangerous.  He is lucky that you sat down on that seat instead of someone else.  People do have violent enough reactions to pepper oil that it could have actually killed someone (my wife is an example of this - we have to carry an epipen just in case she gets any pepper in her food, or smells it in the air - exposing her to what you described would require extensive hospitalization).  This is not a laughing matter.  Best advise is to let it go before it completely gets out of hand and someone gets seriously hurt.  And, make sure he understands that these shenanigans are over. 
 

+15 HS
johnblairgobucks's picture

Food for thought.  Had no idea people were allergic to peppers.  I'll do some research.

+3 HS
NW Buckeye's picture

Yeah, it sucks bad.  Going out to any restaurant can be a real challenge for us.  We have to make sure the wait staff and the kitchen knows about the allergy and her food needs to be absolutely pepper free.  She had a bad reaction at the Columbus Fish Market several years back.  We had explained the allergy completely and they prepared a meal for her that had sauteed carrots.  Problem is that one tiny slice of a red bell pepper found its way into the carrots and we did not notice it until she had eaten about half the carrots - it was on the bottom of the serving, but as it was sauteed with the carrots, the damage was done.  Needless to say, the restaurant had a huge in service concerning this the next week.  They now have a separate 'allergy' kitchen for all their guests who have allergies.  All utensils and surfaces are thoroughly cleaned between each meal they cook in there.  Whenever we walk in that place, the staff knows my wife and they bend over backwards to make sure everything is prepared correctly.  And we only go there when we travel back to Cbus for games in the fall! 
 

+4 HS
ih8rolltyde's picture

It sounds totally unreasonable to expect a private, for profit restaurant to go to those lengths, in my opinion. It is not a right to eat at a restaurant, and if it was my life on the line; I'm not trusting it to a 10/hr employee. Just my 2 cents, probably worth less than that.

****igan smells like old water that hot dogs were boiled in.  FACT

+6 HS
Frimmel's picture

Anyone can be allergic to anything.
 

+2 HS
OSUmuFAN's picture

Pepper pranks rarely end well.

 

+2 HS
Fatpants's picture

Sounds like retaliation was just had...

+1 HS
97Buckeye's picture

Have you considered sleeping with his wife?

+55 HS
Oyster's picture

We have the winner!

May you R.I.P. Otsego, but know this. Gaylord Rocks!

+5 HS
popeurban's picture

I laughed and then thought, "no sarcasm font, he couldn't be serious could he?".  I chose to believe it was sarcasm and I am still laughing. 

+5 HS
Oldschoolbuck's picture

Brilliant! The scorpion peppers have a role in this scenario somehow...

+2 HS
Soggy_McMuffin's picture

This is why I love this site! Just laughed my ass off for a couple minutes reading the responses!

Gooz-fra-bah...

+2 HS
osu78's picture

Have you seen his wife?

ronbizi's picture

I feel this about to escalate into Horrible Bosses.

+3 HS
JasonR's picture

This prank was played on me, and I used it on somebody else later. As long as your workplace doesn't look down on this sort of thing, it's a great gag.

Put some oragel on the rim of his drink so that it will get on his lips. At first, it will just taste weird, and he will probably forget about it. But after about 15-20 minutes, he will be drooling all over himself and talking like he just drank a 12 pack. 

Oh man...I still laugh when I think of that dude I did this to. He kept saying "Somepody put somping on mu dwink!"

Cruel? Maybe. Hilarious? Most definitely.

DISCLAIMER: I cannot be held responsible if you get fired.

+9 HS
cajunbuckeye's picture

The old "Grizzly bear in the cubicle" works every time....

 

An angry fan...rooting for an angry team...led by angry coaches

+24 HS
ponder10's picture

I was going to post this photo but I was only 14 hours too late.

How did he know you'd be the first to sit on the toilet seat?

“In the end we will conserve only what we love. We will love only what we understand. We will understand only what we are taught.” ~ Baba Dioum

THE's picture

Drivin > Disco > Drivin.
To the people in the bathroom, how's it going in there?

+15 HS
JTownBuckeye's picture

I handle workers' compensation claims and see WC injuries filed all the time for the result of pranks. Unless you're completely an innocent victim, termination is usually the outcome for those initiating the prank. 

+2 HS
johnblairgobucks's picture

Johnstown Johnny for sure, class of '92. 

+3 HS
OfficerRabbit's picture

Some of my favorites from college days:

-blast an air horn in his ear any time he doesn't see you coming.

- bake chocolate chewable laxatives into brownies- tell him your wife made you guys treats.

-remove all screws from his desk chair so it falls off the base when he sits down

Other ideas:

-glue all his tools or tool carrier to the floor of his work van or jobsite. (JB Weld is amazing)

- remove all the lug nuts off one of his wheels, hide them, tell him right before it's time to punch out

- discreetly place an embarrassing bumper sticker in his personal vehicle, or maybe hang some truck nuts from his personal vehicle (some guys actually like that though)

- I took a few pictures of a co-workers car, posted a realistic but "great price" ad on Craigslist, then watched as he fielded 10+ calls in an hour from people wanting to see his car. 

I'll stop for now, have some more ideas that may or may not be OK for work.

 

 

+2 HS
johnblairgobucks's picture

Yeah, I'm liking the bumper sticker Idea.  Might have to stop by the mall and visit Spencer's.

OfficerRabbit's picture

Check with one of your local HVAC parts suppliers and see if they have a roll of magnetic bin labels. It's basically a giant roll of paper with magnetic backing. Grab a set of permanent markers and scissors, then go wild. I used to make one almost every day for one of my co-workers, we were constantly playing pranks on each other. 

For reference, one of my co workers drove for 6 days with an 18" sticker on his tailgate that read "I <3 Cankles".

You can imagine how raunchy some of those bumper stickers got, we finally had to call a truce.

 

 

+3 HS
THE's picture

Yes!

I've done similar but it said "HONK IF YOU FARTED" and the dude couldn't figure out why he kept getting honked at for days. 

Drivin > Disco > Drivin.
To the people in the bathroom, how's it going in there?

+3 HS
HandsOfSweed's picture

I got hit with an "All-American Cocksucker" bumper sticker on the passenger side door near the bottom. Didn't know it was there for a few days.

+1 HS
AngryWoody's picture

Sleep with his wife. That's what I'd do.

Our Honor Defend!

+1 HS
Squirrel Master's picture

IDK. Gotta see what the wife looks like. It might be a joke on u if she's fugly!

I saw a UFO once.......it told me to have a goodyear!

+5 HS
OSU725's picture

Maybe he has a sister......

TURD_BUCKET's picture

Not anything that is "physical".

Get him one of those fake lottery tickets.

“Being average means you are as close to the bottom as you are to the top.”

+1 HS
808buckeye's picture

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha..

seize the carpe

johnblairgobucks's picture

getting the horse, the mannequin, and the hot dog together, as we speak, because I don't think he'll buy my pubes. 

+3 HS
Seattle Linga's picture

Does he have an office or is he on the road a lot with HVAC?

+1 HS
johnblairgobucks's picture

He travels around installing furnaces and air conditioners.  Usually works in people's houses.  He usually isn't an industrial installer.

+1 HS
Seattle Linga's picture

I have a great one but it can only be used for someone that is in an office - sorry brother - glad you're feeling better.

MichiganBuckeye222's picture

1.  buy a rubber stamper that says 

Win $200.  Call ___-___-____ for details

insert his cell phone number.  

2.  Stamp it on everything you can....dollar bills...bathroom walls....bus stop benches.  Everywhere.

Never tell anyone....not even him.

Representing the Buckeyes in the Mitten State since 1987.

www.septemberheisman.com

 

+4 HS
BassDropper's picture

or make a Craigslist post selling OSU/VaTech tickets for face value and give his cell number. 

DIRECTIONER

+9 HS
MichiganBuckeye222's picture

I think that's the first time I ever up voted you.

Representing the Buckeyes in the Mitten State since 1987.

www.septemberheisman.com

 

BeatTTUN's picture

I think you need to take a second and consider what the other Dudes retaliation will be to your current retaliation because last time he went Medieval on your ass...literally

Go Buckeyes Beat Michigan

+8 HS
Firmthyfriendship's picture
Yeah man, you got to think several moves ahead...
+2 HS
NOLABuckeye's picture

I may be dating myself to the Earle Bruce era, but ... I'm sure he's not gonna fall for the banana in the tailpipe...

Paralyze resistance with persistence. -- Woody Hayes

+4 HS
sox33osu's picture

It should be more natural brother, it should flow like this... "LOOK MAN, I AIN'T FALLINFONOBANANAINMAHTAYYPIPE!"

See? That's more natural for us.

+1 HS
StarBuck113's picture

Put anti-seize on his desk phone earpiece. Then call him and ask him what's on his ear. 

route4buckeye's picture

How about nothing? You got what you deserved.

+4 HS
Butch_Driveshaft's picture

Saran wrap over toilet bowl (under toilet seat) + ex-lax...or those sugar free gummy bears

OSU_ALUM_05's picture

Search on Amazon for sugar free Harbo gummy bears....read customer reviews...hilarious. That said, I agree that this kind of stuff can wind up being dangerous....probably better to call a truce.

+5 HS
Woodysghost's picture

Sitting at work crying because i'm laughing so hard at these reviews. 

+2 HS
buckeyebfd's picture

You got my interest and I had to read some of the reviews,  my favorite one was titled "the brown wedding"

http://www.amazon.com/Haribo-SUGAR-Classic-Gummi-Bears/dp/B006J1FBLM/ref...

+1 HS
FairfaxBuckeye's picture

Did he just get lucky that you were the first person to use the toilet after he put the pepper oil on it?

+2 HS
droessl's picture
What you've got to do is cut the hamstring on the back of his leg right at the bottom. He'll never play golf again, because his weight displacement goes back, all his weight is on his right foot, and he'll push everything off to the right. He'll never come through on anything. He'll quit the game.
+10 HS
Bugsyk's picture

I doubt he's going to trust any food you've been associated with for a while.  There are several around the office pranks:

Put a post-it over his mouse optical sensor\remove the track ball.

Firefox\Chrome extension to change all Webpages to "Bork Bork Bork" - speak of the Swedish chef

Alter the auto-correct library in MS Word to change a word such as "the" to an obscenity of your choice.

There are several others: jolly rancher in his shower head, hot sauce in a shoe or office chair, fill office\car with balloons\packing peanuts.

All in good fun, but are nothing compared to the greatest prank I've ever witnessed: someone spray-painted 10 of my friends' cows.  To this day I can't think about the herd of technicolor cattle without laughing.

+5 HS
apack614's picture

Hit him with the flaming bag of shit!

"If we worked half as hard as our band, we'd be champions." - Woody Hayes

+6 HS
droessl's picture

he called the shit poop! 

+4 HS
Oyster's picture

If you really want to have fun, mess with his head.  Plant the seed that you are going to get him back.  Get a couple of others in the office to play along and have them warn him that you are planning to up the ante.  But you never do anything.  The fun of watching him be super cautious and the pressure of not knowing when it comes will be sheer enjoyment.  Your friends at work who warn him will finally crack and tell him that there is nothing planned and never was.  He won't believe and will think that is part of the plan.  They will unwittingly be pawns in the plan.  You get to enjoy it with little to no effort required.

May you R.I.P. Otsego, but know this. Gaylord Rocks!

+9 HS
TUNBUCK89's picture

There you have it! You'll have your fun with no risk of causing harm. If it were me, this is exactly what i would do. Thank you Oyster for your wisdom !

1MechEng's picture

Wrap everything in his office in aluminum foil.

Insert plastic cutlery in every seam and panel joint in his vehicle ... make it look like something out of Mad Max ...

Saran wrap his car shut (over/under, then around the car).

Hide a dead fish in the engine compartment of his vehicle.

I may or may not have tried and used some of these myself ... and I take no responsibility for any escalation on the part of your coworker.

+1 HS
buckeyebfd's picture

I've done the plastic wrap on a car, we used the big industrial rolls.  Poor bastard took 15 minutes to cut into his car

Oyster's picture

Once we hid a peach under a desk and waited till the fruit flies showed up.  All day long you would hear him clapping his hands tring to kill them and bitching about all the flies got here in the first place.

May you R.I.P. Otsego, but know this. Gaylord Rocks!

+6 HS
Buckeye80's picture

You could go to craigslist, the Bulletin Board, or local newspaper.  Advertise his car or something at about 1/2 price.  Put in the ad: "I work swing shift, please call between 12-4 am."  Had a buddy do this to another friend.  He got about 10 calls a night for 4 days until he took the ad down.

+2 HS
toad1204's picture

As a veteran office pranker, I must say that was an aggressive initial blow. 

My concern is the retaliatory blow after your move.   

If it was say a small move ie just smearing the pepper on the coffee cup I'd switch the "M" and "N" key on his keyboard. 

However given the offensive move he took you may be allowed multiple pranks to make up for it. 

Fill his office area up with balloons, optional - gift wrap all office possessions underneath balloons.

Next day get a hold of his keys and fill his car with balloons and/or packing peanuts.  At Uline.com you can buy 6 cuft of packing peanuts for $27. 

Post prank be on the defensive and try not to get fired.

Nothing like dancing on the field in 02... 

+1 HS
apack614's picture

You could kick his ass.

"If we worked half as hard as our band, we'd be champions." - Woody Hayes

+5 HS
sox33osu's picture

LMAO!

BUT (or should I say BUTT), not long after eating about 20 of these all hell broke loose. I had a gastrointestinal experience like nothing I've ever imagined. Cramps, sweating, bloating beyond my worst nightmare. I've had food poisoning from some bad shellfish and that was almost like a skip in the park compared to what was going on inside me.

Then came the, uh, flatulence. Heavens to Murgatroyd, the sounds, like trumpets calling the demons back to Hell...the stench, like 1,000 rotten corpses vomited. I couldn't stand to stay in one room for fear of succumbing to my own odors.

But wait; there's more. What came out of me felt like someone tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a coffee straw. I swear my sphincters were screaming. It felt like my delicate starfish was a gaping maw projectile vomiting a torrential flood of toxic waste. 100% liquid. Flammable liquid. NAPALM. It was actually a bit humorous (for a nanosecond)as it was just beyond anything I could imagine possible.

+6 HS
apack614's picture

Jesus I can't stop laughing that was fucking hilarious

"If we worked half as hard as our band, we'd be champions." - Woody Hayes

+3 HS
GoBucksOSU's picture

I laughed every second of reading this and continued to laugh even after reading it.

+2 HS
ShowThemOhiosHere's picture

ROFLMAO OMG

Class of 2010.

+2 HS
You can&#039;t spell chump without UM's picture

I can honestly say that these reviews are the greatest pieces of work I've ever read. Shakespeare could only dream of writing something this memorable, Dickens would have loved to have something so great be read, and Tolkien wishes he could create a piece so enjoyable. Why has no one taken a collection of these reviews, put them into a book, and that book be on the #1 Best-Seller's list for 300 consecutive weeks? You would make trillions off of it.

Brady Hoke ate my comment

+2 HS
RBuck's picture

Put a fish under his car seat. Carp smell the worst after a few days.

"It's just another case of there you are". ~ Doc (1918-2012)

+3 HS
Baroclinicity's picture

Grumpy Old Men!

When you're holding a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

+2 HS
Buckeyeplumber's picture

If he drives a service van, hide an empty can of sardines in an inconspicuous place. He will be mfing you in no time.

Bucksfan's picture

Sounds like he got you back pretty good.  Tricking someone into eating a ghost pepper could result in you getting stabbed.  Then you tried to do it again.  So I think you got off easy with a little pepper oil on your bum.

+2 HS
TURD_BUCKET's picture

The perfectly executed door prank:

“Being average means you are as close to the bottom as you are to the top.”

+5 HS
Knarcisi's picture

Your coworker sounds vengeful ... And creative. Call it even and be happy with a draw. 

+1 HS
irishfury's picture

Ehhh people warning you about getting fired.  It seems if you where able to go home from a prank you got a nice work environment.  Use this it will slowly drive him mad.  http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/b278/

toad1204's picture

Edited upon further review.

Nothing like dancing on the field in 02... 

+1 HS
Groveport Heisman's picture

I would highly advise against giving advice about crushing up prescription medication to put in a unknowing persons drink. Unless prison is something that might not bother you.

Mark my words..I don't need acceptance. I'm catching interceptions on you innocent pedestrians.

Buckshaw79's picture

Get on ebay, and order some plastic key chains that you can write information on a piece of paper inside the keychain. Also order some keys on ebay, you can find a set of 50 or so random keys for cheap. Write his phone number on the the piece of paper that goes inside the key chain and attach a couple keys. Drop the keys at random locations, he will get calls saying they found his keys. 

"Be the man your dog thinks you are"

+1 HS
11UrbzAndSpices's picture

Not stopping until I have more Helmet Stickers than M Man

OSU725's picture

Play nice, get invited to his house and leave an upper decker. That will show him who is the boss.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=upper%20deck