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Fake Lantern posts UC smack-talk article, UC students fail to understand satire.

+2 HS
TheBadOwl's picture
September 24, 2014 at 3:26pm
20 Comments

Because of course.

The Fake Lantern does a weekly smack-talk article during football season. I'm pretty sure they even did one for a bye week last year. They're all hilarious and, if anything, mock the overly gung-ho OSU fans.

Anyways, they posted their UC one yesterday, and UC's student body (and mascot Twitter account) absolutely lost their shit on Twitter. And, oh, they didn't seem to know that The Fake Lantern is, in fact, fake.

But hey, some people just don't research TFL, so they don't realize that it is, in fact, a recurring piece. Regardless, the "Blackout the Shoe" creator had some thoughts to share.

Fair enough. Except then this happened.

Because, you know, when a fake newspaper insults your school as part of a recurring series, you really just have create a Wordpress site solely for the purpose of throwing up your poorly-written, 1300-word response rant.

The best part? Their last paragraph is 21 sentences long. Because they ain't come to UC to play writing.

But the other rant made me laugh more. The Fake Lantern article mentioned that, if Ohio kicked Cincinnati out of the state, we'd still have five professional sports teams. That led to this absolutely fucking perfect gem.

Columbus as a city is inferior to Cincinnati, plain and simple. Please explain to me how you can be such a great city but be home to only one professional sports team? Don’t you dare say it’s because your collegiate team is so great.

Crew + Blue Jackets = two professional sports teams. As in, the same amount that Cincinnati has.

But don't let that stop this champ, because later on in the article...

Ps. You say Ohio only has 5 pro sports teams, did you forget about the MLS team in your city? Or are you hardcore football guys you think soccer is for pussies yet you get winded walking up a flight of stairs?

So whoever wrote this piece actually didn't comprehend the Fake Lantern article in the first place, and then went on to not count the Blue Jackets.

To Phil Dinovo's credit, yeah, his photoshop riled a few people up (but mostly in the "aww, that's cute/hilarious way), and yeah, TFL wrote 760 words about it.

So how do those two UC fans look now that TFL's 760 words riled them enough to each write 1200 words in reply? But hey, don't take my word for it. Let's bring this thing full-circle.

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