In anticipation of the arrival of Nick Bosa I've taken it upon myself to provide a special thread where we as Buckeye fans can tell stories and tall tales about the 10-foot-tall beast man who showers in vodka and feeds babies shrimp scampi.
(pictured: Nick Bosa eating a bystanders shoe)
"He had a four day heart attack! ...Yeah, a day for every chamber! ...When they do his autopsy, they'll say his heart was like a basketball filled with ricotta cheese! ... I bet they find sixty dollars in change in his stomach!"
"Did I ever tell you about the time Nick Bosa went hunting? Bosa decides he's going to hunt down all four of the Banana Splits! He stalks and kills every one of them with a machete. They all begged for their lives, except Fleagle!"
"Did I ever tell you about the time Nick Bosa took me out to go get a drink with him? We go off lookin' for a bar and we can't find one. Finally, Bosa takes me into a vacant lot and says, Here we are!' Well, we sat there for a year and a half. Sure enough, someone constructed a bar around us! Well, the day they opened it, we ordered a shot, drank it and then burnt the place to the ground. Bosa yelled over the roar of the flames, 'Always leave things the way you found them!'"
"He once punched a hole in a cow just so he could see who was comin' up the road."
"He hated Mexicans! ...And he was half Mexican! ...And he hated irony!"
"One time I asked Bosa to dress up like Santa for a Christmas party I was throwing for my children. Yeah, that's them, that's them. Well Bosa shows up as Santa, reaches into his bag and says, 'I've got goodies for you kids.' He proceeds to hand out scrap metal and cigarettes to them. Then he takes off his beard and says 'There is no Santa 'cause I ate him.'"
"Bosa's dad directed that commercial where the women play basketball in heels!"
"John Bosa once had sex with a cigarette machine!"
So I ask ye fellow members of 11 warriors, what be your fondest memory or encounter with the legend that is Nick Bosa?