Bielema and Meyer: No Love Lost

By DJ Byrnes on September 25, 2013 at 7:13p

Earlier in the week, Urban Meyer had this to say:

Well, y'aint going to disrespect ol' Bert like that without him striking back with a quick jab of his own:

Part of me wishes college football worked like the WWE, and Bert would run out of the tunnel Saturday night, whack Gary Andersen over the skull with a steel chair, guzzle a few Bud Light Limes (little doubt Bert drinks Bud Light Limes) and throw on the headset. Sports are fun when they involve villains, and nobody played that role better than Bielema.


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Orlando Pancakes's picture

 "Sports are fun when they involve villains, and nobody played that role better than Bielema."

It's really hard to say it much better than that. I would say that I hope we play them in a bowl, but that would be taking us down a couple of notches.


Yeah, if we end up facing Bert again it means we slipped to a 3rd or 4th tier bowl in the middle of nowhere. Not the kind of season I'd want, even if it does mean thrashing his sorry ass again.

"Sherman ran an option play right through the south" - Greatest Civil War analogy EVER.

Northbrook's picture

They are going to have trouble getting bowl eligible.

Iron_Buckeye's picture

Suck it Bert!! Suck it hard, Suck it long!

“The minute we stop expecting greatness from our football program, we become Wisconsin.” Craig Krenzel

osu07asu10's picture

CJDPHoS Board of Directors // Best friends with Homey Hache

The 0 is silent.

chitown buckeye's picture

+1 for the best "sell" ever...

"I'm having a heart attack!"

osu07asu10's picture

What do you mean "sell"? Stone Cold positively stunned him. I bet that guy was out cold for days!!
Next you're going to tell me Santa is real! So long as the Easter Bunny exists I'm good.

CJDPHoS Board of Directors // Best friends with Homey Hache

The 0 is silent.

FROMTHE18's picture

Dear Bret,
If sanctions weren't imposed you'd be 3rd in the division last year, and might I also add you lost 6 games last year, that is 6 more than Urban has lost at Ohio State  sorry but enjoy being in the middle of nowhere and being fired in 3 years only to return to the Sun Belt Conference or whatever weak-ass conference youll coach in.

wolfman's picture

I still don't understand why he took the Arkansas job, unless it was only about money.  He has even less of a chance winning his conference at Arkansas.  I have to admit he seems to be doing a decent job recruiting, but he is never going to get the defensive personnel and depth at the skilled positions to compete with Alabama, LSU, Florida, Georgia, etc.

Kaceybrown's picture

Florida? Hahaha, they too are on their way down. 

Buckeyevstheworld's picture

It's not because they lack talent.

"YOLO" = I'm about to do something extremely ignorant/stupid & I need an excuse to do it.

BuckeyeNation's picture

Well we all know it's Coach Meyers fault, duh.....

Kaceybrown's picture

Def not a lack of talent. W a coach like muschamp stomping around pouting and screaming like a little brat I think probably a bit of a motivational issue, especially w the horrific offense? Oh well, I'm glad to see them lose and hope it continues. 

Buckabroad's picture

Good Q WOLFMAN, but I think the answer is simple: Urban F. Meyer. Bertboy, I think, was shocked, envious and terrified of Meyer's success in his 1st year with a team beaten down and disoriented after unjust NCAA sanctions. He likely believed that he could have his way with a weakened OSU for quite some time. How did 2012 turn out? First Meyer outclassed Bertboy on the recruiting trail in limited time, then he hammered him on the gridiron in his own house, and then Meyer's players were lauded as potential future NFL 1st round draft picks or Heisman candidates. While Bertboy took some petty & pathetic solace in voting against good, hard-working players from OSU for the All B1G team, he knew that future OSU teams likely would get stronger, faster and not be shy about running up high scores. What does a boorish, pathetic coward do in a case like that? Stand his ground and man up to the challenge? Of course not, he runs.

"The minute we stop expecting greatness, we become Wisconsin."

cinserious's picture

Damn Buckabroad! That's a pretty harsh reality for Bielema. And spot on! Much like Lane Kiffin, running away from Urban Meyer is the smartest thing Bert's ever done, even if its into the teeth of the SEC.

One day I will valiantly become a political prisoner of 11W jail.

Buckabroad's picture

Thanks for your response and I agree. About risking the SEC, I suspect once Bertboy's full retreat reached Hog Country something about that school's mascot simply made him feel at home.

"The minute we stop expecting greatness, we become Wisconsin."

weirdscience's picture

It's hilarious to ponder that Bert may be delusional enough to think he has a chance of being competitive in the SEC West. The reality is the Hogs won't win another game until November. 

Buckeye_Mafia's picture

Oh Bert...have fun with Miles, Saban, Muschamp, and Spurrier.  Urban is NOTHING compared to those snakes when it comes to shadiness.  Enjoy those conference championships* because you will never win them at Arkansas.  But hey, you and your old lady fit right in down there.
P.S.  #karma = "We want to be nothing like the SEC" said the guy that ran to coach a doormat SEC school.

"At critical moments throughout the season, we learned about the character of this football team.  This was a team of true character, of true resilience." -- President Barack Obama

jedkat's picture

P.S.  #karma = "We want to be nothing like the SEC"

Well, he's right about that. The SEC doesn't lose to Rutgers.

"Can we please stop the message board fighting? I really can't stand the message board fighting..."

"No. You're an idiot, and your posts are terrible."

BucksfanXC's picture

What kinda cocktail mixture do you think Jen drinks to be able to put up with Bert?

“Any time you give a man something he doesn't earn, you cheapen him. Our kids earn what they get, and that includes respect.”  - Woody

William's picture

Straight Aristocrat Vodka. $15 for half a gallon. #classy 

headina's picture

Karkov $8.99 a handle


DannyBeane's picture

Monster and Popov. The less classy cousin of Redbull and Vodka.

BSTP DeCon's picture

Colonial Vodka OR Nyquil by the quarts

BuckeyeSki's picture

Fleishmans by the handle...or Senator's club if ol' Bert gets a raise

Banned from BlackShoeDiaries since 2008. Crime: Slander/Defamation of Character Judgement: Guilty

bigbadbuck's picture

corn mash, straight from the still out back.

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here, its a war room

Doc's picture

Mrs. Bert smokes Walt's Blue crystal.

CJDPHoS Member

The Official DDS of 11W

gobucks96's picture

An IV full of vodka and everclear... Best not to come down from the haze...

FitzBuck's picture

Ether martinis.  She's out cold for most of her life.  

Fitzbuck | Toledo - Ohio's right armpit | "A troll by any other name is still a troll".

CharlieBuckeye's picture

Bert is like the little kid who makes fun of the other kids and when they chase him; he runs behind his mommy. While mommy is give the kids he teased a talking to- he sticks his tongue out and continues to talk.
However there will be a time when old Bert will be by himself at the bus stop. Then the very kids he teased will stuff him a mailbox to be mailed out. Watch out Bert - the SEC awaits.

"To have a great life simply follow this rule:  Do not bring undo conflict into your life..."

Charlie Baker - OSU - 1986

painterlad's picture

You'd think that with a 1-5 record against The Ohio State University, Meyer would miss Bert a great deal.

To err is human. Really sucking requires having yellow stripes on your helmet.

HandsOfSweed's picture

And with that permanent rusty dent we kicked into his ass when he was up here, I tend to believe Bert's sentiment on the matter. Well, I'd feel the same way if I was him, anyhow. Meh. It's whatever, I guess. He wasn't really enough to get worked up over, for real.

bigbadbuck's picture

I'm surprised Bert didn't throw an "A" at Urban

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here, its a war room

MN Buckeye's picture

The people who feel the best about Bert being gone are the WI fans. He was an arrogant jerk during his tenure as HC in Madison, but he has now found his home among the beautiful people in hog heaven.

Buckabroad's picture

Arrogant and a jerk? Yes, but that is only half the story. He also is cowardly and a hypocrite.

"The minute we stop expecting greatness, we become Wisconsin."

BTBuckeye's picture

"And now joining us live from Fayettesville, AR..."


buckeyeboy31's picture

Dear Bert,
I'm glad we're boys.

Unky Buck's picture

(little doubt Bert drinks Bud Light Limes)

You sure as hell knows he adds even more lime to it...

Rock over London; Rock on Chicago. Timex: It takes a lickin' but keeps on tickin'

brandonbauer87's picture

Shame we'll never fall low enough to play Arkansas in a bowl. 

northcampus's picture

Now that Bert's getting S-E-C money, he probably has moved up to Bud Light Lime.  However, when Bert was a Wisconsin man, he was a fiercely loyal Beast drinker (specifically red cans, which matched his "W" pullover).

headina's picture

I always envisioned Bert being a keystone ice kinda guy. 


mattanderson1985's picture

I say bring on Arkansas; oh wait SEC doesn't travel up north.

Baroclinicity's picture

Ain't that the truth...

When you're holding a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

GoBucksOSU's picture

TTUN and Arkansas have a home and home series scheduled.

GoBucksToledo's picture

They deserve each other.
Hold it, how can there be two losers in one game?

Hovenaut's picture

Focus on your new friends Bert, instead of bothering with old foes.

Before all that karma runs out and all.

ArizonaBuckeye's picture

Hey're a douche bag. That is all.

"There's nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you." -Woody Hayes-

KBonay's picture

This is all you need to know about the Bielema's

KBonay's picture

Wouldn't embed.  So here is what I was getting at:

BSTP DeCon's picture

That's one hairy rat!

IBleedSandG's picture

So they (I'm guessing Jen) created a Twitter acct for their dog... Wow. The 646 people that follow Lucy should all be hit in the head with a tack hammer.


cajunbuckeye's picture

I miss Bert. He was my favorite to poke fun at...

An angry fan...rooting for an angry team...led by angry coaches

Kaceybrown's picture

I just threw up in my mouth. 

cajunbuckeye's picture

Bert's too sexy for his shirt,

An angry fan...rooting for an angry team...led by angry coaches

unholy bucknut's picture

Karma is a bitch.... Isn't that his ol ladies name?

DannyBeane's picture

Gene Smith should do his damnedest to get Arkanslaw on the schedule while Big Bert is still their coach.

pcuzz1's picture

Touche on the Bud Light Lime prediction!! Spot on!

pat cozzens

Scarlet_Lutefisk's picture

"The feeling's mutual"

Hey Bert, it's nice to know that you're also good with Gary.

GoBucksToledo's picture

Bert is not missing his annual come-to-Jesus meeting with the Buckeyes, particularly the Urban Meyer version!
Or is he saying that he is good with Gary too?

gobucks96's picture

The dude better start worrying about where he's at now. He may not win a conference game this year!

jfunk's picture

I kinda pictured Burt as a Bud Ice type of guy.

Oh man, article idea for Johnny: Match each B1G coach with their preferred drink.

Scotch: It may be too early to drink it, yes; but people it is never to early to think about it.

Jack Fu's picture

Mark Dantonio - Water.
Kirk Ferentz - Water.
Pat Fitzgerald - Water with lemon.

DannyBeane's picture

Bollman - fermented fish chum

chitown buckeye's picture

This made my day!! I laughed hard at it... such an easy shot!! So glad you took it. +1

"I'm having a heart attack!"

jfunk's picture

Really? With Kirk's gold-plated contract I figured he'd be drinking some Johnny Walker Blue by the gallon.

Dantonio I picture like my old boss: Guy was making close to 6 figures but the dudes still sipping down Natty Light cause "it's cheap".

You probably pegged Fitzzy right simply because he's too young to drink.

Just found Hoke's preferred drink, the Jelly Donut:
4 1/2 oz Tropicana Twister Kinetic Kiwi Strawberry
3 oz Bacardi® white rum
1 1/2 oz DeKuyper® Razzmatazz liqueur
1 oz half-and-half

Scotch: It may be too early to drink it, yes; but people it is never to early to think about it.

GoBucksToledo's picture

Good point, he's probably drinking Perrier.

OurHonorDefend09's picture

I miss Bert so much. He was always my second favorite coach in the B1G behind whoever was at OSU. He's so hateable that he's actually loveable.
Same reason I love Bo Ryan... it's awesome watching them whine after you beat them.

Don't give up... Don't ever give up.

weirdscience's picture

It's going to be fun keeping tabs on Bert and the Hogs over the next several weeks: 
vs. Texas A&M
@ Florida
vs. South Carolina
@ Alabama

IBleedSandG's picture



GoBucksToledo's picture

...and hopefully some of these teams rub his nose in it like he did to the understaffed FCS teams he scheduled.

EvanstonBuckeye's picture

Wow. Arky has a pretty solid chance of losing 7 or 8 games after they shit-canned their coach for losing...wait for it... 8 games. I wonder if we'll be watching a 30 on 30 in a few years that starts with "Would you believe a coach who took his team to three straight Rose Bowls..."

otrain2416's picture

I couldn't figure out which rose bowl loss he was crying about

We were born to love Ohio State and hate that team up north.

Knarcisi's picture

Hey, I finished 3rd and went to a Rose Bowl, and my wife likes old fat guys ...