The Quotable Bret Bielema

June 22, 2013 at 10:22a    by Jason Priestas    
26 Comments
Bret Bielema, wordsmith.

Grantland gave Bret Bielema the full treatment Friday, giving the former Wisconsin coach a chance to explain his decision to take the Arkansas job a mere 24 hours after telling his team he wasn't going anywhere. Vico broke down the piece in Saturday's Skull Session, but we thought Bielema's colorful quotes deserved another, better life, so here are they are as Bielema Cards™. 

Collect them all!

 

FUCKING WOW 'EM
FUCKING AMEN
SHIT JUST GOT RATCHETED UP

Comments

Hovenaut's picture

Stay frosty Bert.

Or, by the look of things, have another Frosty.

It is summertime and all.

I am not the Last Dragon, therefore I do not possess the power of the Glow.

kmp10's picture

...wandered out west to the California coast
where the folks who know about frostiness stay frostiest the most
my brand new landlord proposed me a toast
my west coast host
Stay frosty...

Bucks's picture

Have a close friend who was like this in college. Those pictures were reserved for day #3 of his drinking though.

cajunbuckeye's picture

Makes me want to break out my Bert shirt.....

An angry fan...rooting for an angry team...led by angry coaches

AJW_16's picture

I'm going to miss the Bert epics on 11W's roundup of B1G games each Sunday.
Man, he was easy to hate.

"Sometimes you eat the bear and sometimes the bear eats you." 

NoVA Buckeye's picture

I'm sure Arkansas will be on the national recap every week

The offseason begins when your season ends. Even then there are no days off.

razrback16's picture

Yep, I am looking forward to watching Bert's "adventures" in the SEC.

AJW_16's picture

I hope so, Nova. Staff, can we make that happen?

"Sometimes you eat the bear and sometimes the bear eats you." 

bodast67's picture

Shame on you 11W Staff for posting not one but four of those pictures.
....throws pancakes in garbage

 

 

 

     " I hope when I die, I die laughing"...                

jestertcf's picture

Boogity Boogity Boogity AMEN!!!

~Because we couldn't go for three~

Jason Priestas's picture

That was amazing.

OSUs12-OH's picture

My boy and I were laughing so hard I thought we were both going to pee ourselves.  It's like a scene right out of Talladega Nights.  Great stuff!
Not to mention fits Bret to a tee with that smoking hot wife of his. Boogity Boogity Alright;-)

"I want a hungry team. I want a team that can't wait to get out there. I want an angry team! You're the Ohio State Buckeyes. You're an angry football team. You're a hungry football team and I'm proud to be your coach." UFM

Northbrook's picture

We jus keep on evolving, amen.

MN Buckeye's picture

How about any article on Bert needs to have pictures of his wife rather than him?

MN Buckeye's picture

While I am not against the use of profanity, a head coach spouting it nonstop seems to be unprofessional.

razrback16's picture

Don't ever go to a practice. :)
But in front of the media, definitely. Most coaches do a pretty good job of keeping themselves "PC" in front of the camera.

jestertcf's picture

I LOVE that this is site has is as childish as me.
I also love to encourage Ramzy's inner troll.

~Because we couldn't go for three~

Kalamazoo Steve's picture

1). Is that porn on the TV?

2). Did they finally find Hoffa in Berts belly button?

3). How does any major program hire this asswipe?

Buckeyevstheworld's picture

I'm offended that this is acceptable, and Kate Upton isn't. :/

"YOLO" = I'm about to do something extremely ignorant/stupid & I need an excuse to do it.

cajunbuckeye's picture

I second ^^THIS

An angry fan...rooting for an angry team...led by angry coaches

Earle's picture

I dunno, he seems to have the 17-yr old mindset that could be useful in recruiting.

Italics are for emphasis.

lljjgg's picture

Speaking of which, I noticed he's kept his recruiting hot-streak going at Arkansas, 5 total recruits thus far lol (2 3*s, 2 4*s, and an unranked kicker). Not terrible, but when you consider how well Tennessee and Kentucky are doing in comparison, selling the same "new start in the SEC" line, the difference in recruiting success stands out a little.

I suppose in his defense, though, he did more with next to nothing at Wisconsin then I've seen from anyone save Alvarez. Guess he's going to try to continue that at Arkansas.

OSU_undergrad's picture

Wait...are these real quotations? Or are they made up? I really can't tell.

northcampus's picture

What a role model. Maybe Arkansas is a better fit for his "talents" than Madison, WI.

Knarcisi's picture

And I thought he was an idiot before these quotes.