Monday Skull Session

By DJ Byrnes on January 9, 2012 at 6:00a
RT @NeilHamburger: As packing material for the Nazi memorabilia I sell on eBay. RT @HormelFoods: How do you use your leftover ham? #poll

S-E-C! S-E-C! S-E-C! Esss-Eeeeee-Seeeeee!

Just getting you prepared for tonight. If you are bored during the game or your hatred for the SEC reaches its zenith, feel free to search the hash-tag "#RollTide" on Twitter. Alabamanananas great trolling-targets as they are a notoriously prideful community about their football team. They are also a people who are usually too slow-witted to realize they're getting trolled. LSU fans, by contrast, are usually too krunked to concern themselves with Twitter (and the others are illiterate).

Will I watch the annual apex of southern culture tonight? You're damned right I will, especially with a saucy Brent Musburger rocking the microphone. My three readers know I've been riding the Les Miles swag-wagon since the preseason began. After watching Les Miles and his gang of mutants dismantle every foe which was dumb enough to stand in front of them, I may move to Louisiana next year. That way, when the apocalypse comes, I will be under the umbrage of Warlock Leslie Miles. These are the things I think about.

LET'S JUST GET THE TITLE GAME LINKS OUTTA THE WAY. Yahoo!'s Dr. Saturday continued his excellent "Nola Keys" preview series with a look at Alabama's match-up with LSU's vaunted defense...'s Gene Wojciechowski wrote about Jarrett Lee, LSU's backup quarterback who might not play a snap tonight, but LSU wouldn't be in the championship game without... LSU's Tyrann Mathieu "could[n't] care less" about his father who is in prison for murder, wrote's Thayer Evans...  Sporting News' Steve Greenberg brought an article about the notion of paydirt having a different meaning to Alabama's Trent Richardson... Nick Saban watches the Weather Channel for half an hour with his wife every morning... Andy Staples of Sports Illustrated wrote an article about the two Australians playing in this mythical title game... CBS' Dennis Dodd said the rematch "may be right, but it shows what's wrong with the BCS"... The Dispatch's Bob Hunter wrote an article like Bob Hunter tends to write... 

PENN STATE IS UP IN ARMS. So, Penn State hired an "outsider" as its head coach, and now some of the community and former players are angry about it in a way they didn't seem to be over the Sandusky scandal. And this looks bad, according to CBS' cankterous troll/writer Gregg Doyel. Honestly, if Twitter were around when Jim Tressel was hired, I'm sure it would have been broken by the stampede of OSU fans rushing to Twitter to voice their disdain. Michigan fans would have laughed their asses off. My point is -- until the coach has actually coached -- why get so angry? The belief Bill O'Brien will suck at PSU doesn't have any intrinsic proof yet, so it's not like its valid. I don't get it. 

RT @goshdarnheck: teeth? What the heck are tee....ohhhhhh, you must mean MouthbonesCraig James killed 5 hookers with this stone cold gaze.

LAMENT OF A COLLEGE SPORTS FAN. Abdulrahman El-Sayed of the Huffington Post loves college football, he's sadden it has taken some hits this year in the ethics department. If you want to rehash some of the lowlights of this year and compare them to what college sports is mythicized to be, then this article is for you.

ARNETT TO SEEK WAIVER. DeAnthony Arnett, the Tennessee receiver who transferred to Michigan State, will seek a special waiver to be eligible to play for Sparty immediately. It's said Arnett will seek a hardship waiver seeing as he transferred to Michigan State in order to be closer to his ailing father. No word yet on how Brady Hoke will whine about this.

AN ESPN EXEC SAYS BCS RAINMAKERS AREN'T "TONE-DEAF". Yes, that's right... Burke Magnus, ESPN's ridiculously named senior vice president of college sports programming, has spoken on behalf of college presidents and the BCS. The "plus-one playoff" is coming apparently. It's the kind of half-measured reform which will ensure the BCS is still printing money for its executives long after they're dead. Remember that when people are lauding the "change" brought to college football next year. 

THAT PIFF. False Internet prophecy costs Thailand $13 million... A galaxy twice the size of the Milky Way... Best drunks of the NBA season so far... Inside YouTube's bot scandal... A time cloak has been created...

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