Monday Skull Session

By DJ Byrnes on August 22, 2011 at 6:00a
46 Comments

Will the Little League World Series please go somewhere and die? Preferably in the most gruesome way possible. Why the hell do I want to watch a bunch of 12 year olds play baseball? And why would anybody besides these kids' parents and families be watching this thing? If you're at the Little League World Series, and you're not directly related by blood to a player, then you're very clearly a pedophile. I'm sorry, but it's true.

Is there anything more annoying than people that claim they love the Little League World Series? Oh yeah, I bet. "It's so clean and so pure." Hell, have these parents probably have little Bobby taking shots of HGH in his ass on a bi-weekly basis to get him an edge. THEY CAN'T EVEN LEAD OFF OR REALLY STEAL A BASE. IT'S NOT BASEBALL AT ALL.

Could I change the channel? Go outside? Sure, I could. I could. But where would our country be if we were made up entirely of people like that? Some people stood up to the tyranny of the British Crown (or so they say). Some people, such as myself, choose to gripe on the internet about 12 year olds playing a more boring version of an already monotonous game.

PROTIP: Nobody cares about your kids as much as you do. Hell, nobody cares about your kids half as much as you do. Then you have degenerates wondering around (like me) who hate your child with the fiery passion of a hundred thousand blazing suns. Please stop promoting them.  I don't care. I really don't. And if this means Little Bobby loses a DVD about the time he went on national TV, listed his favorite music artist as Spice Girls, and struck out with two runners on and two outs in the 7th inning, then LET IT BE DONE.

ETIENNE SABINO IS TOUGHER THAN YOU. Sabino, who it seems everybody has tabbed for a breakout year this year, suffered a broken hand in Saturday's jersey scrimmage. Normally, you'd expect a man with a broken hand to miss some significant time, but Sabino says he will be ready for the opener, albeit with a cast wrapped around his broken hand.

In middle school, one of my friends and our best player, broke his hand during a football game, and our deranged coach duct-taped to kneepads around his hand and sent him back onto the field. My friend said it was one of the most painful experiences of his life. To this day, I'm still amazed our middle school coach wasn't sued for millions of dollars.

The idea of tackling 6'2" 240 pound guys is harrowing enough for me, let alone while having a broken hand. Sabino already looks like he was chiseled out of stone. Would I mess with him even when his hand was broken? Not a chance. Glad to see an hombre of his nature in the scarlet and grey, and here's to a full recovery.

THE QUARTERBACK PLATOON IS COMING BACK TO COLUMBUS, Y'ALL. It appears "Ol' Dude" Joe Bauserman will be the starter, but Braxton Miller will see plenty of action in the fall. The last time we had a tandem? Justin Zwick and Troy Smith. It still amazes me that there were people who wanted Justin Zwick to be the full time quarterback. Words cannot do justice for how much I hate the platoon system. I think the quarterback, in order to be successful, needs to know that he's the man. With a tandem, I feel like it makes quarterbacks play scared, because if they mess up, they're coming out of the game. Granted, the starter against Akron doesn't matter so much as the starter at Nebraska (or even Miami), but man, I am not looking forward to this at all.

OL DUDE GETTIN $$$$OL' DUDE ON HIS LOLLERSK8Z.

THE LSU FOOTBALL TEAM GOT INTO A BAR BRAWL AND LES MILES IS SORRY ABOUT IT. Ah, the ol' bar room brawl. Everybody is drun, thinking they're the baddest dude in the planet. Strangers bump into strangers, insults are exchanged, until one guy chooses he'd rather talk with his fists. Next think you know, 15-20 football players are banging out and your team's starting quarterback is kicking somebody in the head.

Les Miles of course is on the apology circuit, swearing that he's making his team run a bunch of laps and stuff. (Seriously, it's always funny how coaches assume any moral violation can be washed by just running some more sprints). Baton Rouge Police haven't pressed charges yet, but they do want to speak to Jordan Jefferson and other players. (Some say he'll be arrested this morning). Regardless, there's an old mantra on the streets of Marion, Ohio: "shouldn''t have been talking shit." Sounds like a guy needed a few kicks to the skull to learn this lesson, but I guess some folks just learn lessons slower than others.

DOC TRESS SAYS THEY'LL USE TWO RUNNING BACKS MAINLY AND A THIRD FOR SPECIFIC SITUATIONS. Doug Lesmerises of the Cleveland Plain Dealer tweeted this last night. He then speculated that redshirt freshman Rod Smith would be the odd man out, especially when Boom returns. I'll be salty about this, but stay patient, young Rod Smth. You will have your day in the sun soon enough, my friend.

LACHE SEASTRUNK IS TAKING HIS FOOTBALL AND GOING HOME. The subject of a budding NCAA probe (and somebody with one of the coolest names ever), has been granted his unconditional release from Oregon. The streets are saying he'll be headed to Baylor, where he'll seek immediate eligibility. What a great expenditure of $25,000.

WOODY HAYES COULD MAKE IT RAIN. Here's an article from the Milwaukee Seintinel on April 27th, 1956. Ohio State was put on probation when Coach Woody Hayes admitted to paying unnamed Ohio State football players a total of $400 annually over the course of a couple years. (He said it came out of his personal funds). So this has been going on since AT LEAST 1956, and so far the NCAA's decisions have just driven this thing so far underground, that now the payments have been shifted from coaches to shady sociopaths like Nevin Shapiro. And this is the organization we're trusting to fix the current mess? Is this organization even worth fixing at this point? (No).

OMG THEY SHOULD TOTALLY KILL OFF MIAMI UNIVERSITY'S FOOTBALL TEAM. So, some bro is still upset with "cheating" Miami and thinks this should end with Miami getting the death penalty (which isn't even possible because the U isn't a repeat offender. This is entirely possible, according to our commentor,s through the application of the "willful violators" clause). First of all, when did our country become a country of nancies? Warren G. Harding, the greatest President ever, used to have bacchanalian orgies in the White House. And now Kellen Winslow Jr. crashes a gold-plated jet ski into a yacht and everybody has crocodile tears over the state of college football? And I'm supposed to be upset over this? Please. This system is such a farce I'd be disappointed if it didn't involve 935 million dollar ponzi schemers and prostitutes. (And I hope you all caught Tommy Craggs dumping Yahoo!'s Charles Robinson over the weekend).

YES THEY'RE STILL WRITING ARTICLES ABOUT MICHIGAN'S TRADITION MEANING MUCH MORE THIS YEAR. I'm not saying Brady Hoke will be bad at Michigan, but good lord, could the media be in love with this man anymore than they already are?

FANCY INTERNET THINGS. How a woman who told a man she'd "rather weep in a BMW than laugh and ride a bicycle with you" changed Chinese divorce law... Mark Heisler, formerly of the Los Angeles Times, spills the beans on what it's like to work at a newspaper in the digital age... Ed Hardy the Art Historian (NSFW)... The story of how Russia's richest man ended up in a Siberian prison... A kingly picture of The Eternal King Warren G. Harding... So, are these kids ninjas or something?... Here's how to find a tax haven... IT'S KLOBBERIN' TIME...

46 Comments

Comments

AcrossTheField11's picture

While little league baseball on tv is both annoying and unnecessary, I'd take watching that over poker any day of the week. At least LL baseball is a sport and requires physycal talent.

Time and change will surely show how firm they friendship... O-HI-O.

Kennywayne34's picture

Nice piece...looks like your spell checker has a case of the Mondays though.

 

DJ Byrnes's picture

Woof. You're right. I'm an atrociously terrible speller as it is and for whatever reason, things like "Miamu" in my sub-headers don't stick out to me unless I've slept on the article, something I can't do since it goes up at 6 AM.

Further compounding this problem, I don't have the internet and can't really edit these things from my BlackBerry.

/waitsforPaneratoopensoicanusetheirwifi

Californian by birth, Marionaire by the Grace of President Warren G. Harding.

GoBucks713's picture

Just so you know, if you are in Columbus, the Panera Wifi starts running at 5am. You should be able to pick it up from the parking lot. And Panera Sucks. They treat their people like crap. They currently have a class action law suit for not paying overtime to managers and unsatisfactory hiring and firing policies.

-The Aristocrats!

DJ Byrnes's picture

Oh, I don't mess with no Panera, mainly because my IQ isn't above the 150 point level needed to dine at a place like Panera, it just happened to be the closest establishment with Wifi that I could think of around my apartment.

Californian by birth, Marionaire by the Grace of President Warren G. Harding.

RBuck's picture

Gotta love their french onion soup though.

"It's just another case of there you are". ~ Doc (1918-2012)

Lincoln's picture

Born and raises in Marion.. Speling is way overrated

jenks's picture

...I see what you did there...

AcrossTheField11's picture

While little league baseball on tv is both annoying and unnecessary, I'd take watching that over poker any day of the week. At least LL baseball is a sport and requires physycal talent.

Time and change will surely show how firm they friendship... O-HI-O.

AcrossTheField11's picture

Sorry for the double post. Trying to comment from a blackberry in rush hour in sao paulo brazil is difficult (I'm not driving).

Time and change will surely show how firm they friendship... O-HI-O.

O-H Kee Pa's picture

DJ: the NCAA is exploring the possibility of invoking the "willful violators" cause. Because Miami baseball was on probation from 2003-2005, it would retroactively make Miami repeat offenders.

NW Buckeye's picture

Exactly, hence the so called death penalty could be in play. 

original buckeye's picture

Well done, DJ.  This post was informative and very funny--just what 11W readers need in a Monday Skull Session.

Kind of a drag to hear that Rod Smith's the odd man out--I've never seen much out of Hyde to make me think that he's a feature back at a program the likes of OSU.

Denny's picture

This is what I did after reading about the QB platoon system :(

Taquitos.

Sgt. Elias's picture

Hey, that's me

"Okay -- I've got an El Camino full of rampage here." 

btalbert25's picture

One thing I really hate about little league is that the teams are manufactured.  It's not like a group of friends who have played on the same team for years, it's an all star team with handpicked players from a city.  Then there's the whole softball rules with an overhand pitcher.  Bases are too close, the mound is too close and 225 to center is weak, even for 12 year olds.  I hate the brand of baseball they are teaching kids to play.  I made my high school team at 13 and it's because our local youth league had us playing real baseball at 12 years old.  We played on high school fields, 60 ft. 6" from the rubber to the plate, and 90 feet between the bases.  Had I played little league, I would've never been equipped to play high school baseball at a young age.  I can't stand little league.

TheHumbleBuckeye's picture

Yeah, the quality of play isn't even that great. I played AABC ball when I was 12. We were on 80 foot bases and 54 foot pitching rubber. Most of the teams in our local southwest Ohio league (Midland, West Stars, JB Yeager, etc) could probably win the LLWS pretty handidly. The best players at that age aren't playing by "little leauge" rules these days. They're generally already playing AABC ball (whose teams are not eligible for LLWS competition).

Denny's picture

'One thing I really hate about little league is that the teams are manufactured.'

Think of it this way - the LLWS-manufacturing industry is a key cog in the Midwest economy.

Taquitos.

btalbert25's picture

I'm surprised people are surprised Rod Smith will be the odd man out.  From the practice notes and reports so far he's done nothing to reall impress, where Hyde has been very impressive, and apparently Boom is going to come back angry and ready to beat Nebraska. 

I'm not crazy about the QB platoon either, but for now may not be terrible.  Maybe easing Braxton in for the first few games isn't a horrible idea.  Perhaps he'll show that the job should be his or Joe B won't be so bad afterall.

Sabino, I hope he ends up having a great year, but how many years now have we been hearing this will be his break out year?  I'll believe it when I see it.  Hope I'm wrong, but he's one of the most over rated recruits I remember at this point in his career.

Run_Fido_Run's picture

In general, declaring that a player is "overrated" based on his HS recruiting rankings from 2-3 years ago, seems odd to me: those rankings can be useful, in the aggregate (recruiting classes with lots of 4 and 5-star players will usually predict success on the field); however, a few years later, when you "zoom in" on individuals within those classes, you'll see quite a few 4-star busts and 2 & 3-star diamonds in the rough. In other words, you can "bet" on highly rated classes with more confidence than you can on any specific highly rated HS player (a caveat, though, is that the top 25 Under Armour, etc., guys will usually perform at high levels).

Besides, it's not unusual for Ohio State LBs to not play much until their junior years, but then become all-league type players.

btalbert25's picture

I guess maybe I wasn't clear.  I wasn't really referring to his star rating or what Rivals projected.  I was referring to the fans opinion of the guy.  He's really never done anything but make a couple nice stops on special teams.  He's fast and strong and apparently incapable of figuring out a playbook because he can never seem to find his way on the field. 

I'm just overall tired of hearing about how great Sabino is going to be, how Tressel was a fool for not playing Sabino, how Sabino is going to be a beast, etc etc etc.  Until he proves it on the field I'm not buying it, and I'm not sure why the fans have always been so sold on the guy when he has only made a handful of hard hits on special teams in 3 seasons.  He just always seems to be the guy who is going to be awesome, but never has been awesome. 

Basically, the fans hold this guy in much higher regard than his actual on field production would warrant.  Maybe I should say he's the most over rated player I can recall, not recruit.

buckeyedude's picture

I personally think Hyde is going to be the sleeper surprise this year. I don't think this kid is getting any love from fans.

I don't "hate" the little LLWS, I just prefer to watch cheerleading competitions.

 

 

Buckeyejason's picture

Agree with you btalbert25. Its Sabino's 4th year, he was hyped up to be the next big Kat and can't beat out Sweat last year or Klein this year.Now he has a broken hand..Klein will impress while he's out and he may never start at Mike at all this year.

"I've never seen much out of Hyde to make me think that he's a feature back at a program the likes of OSU"

Haven't seen a damn thing from Rod Smith either. Heard he runs too upright and struggles to get through the holes though. He'll have his time though one day, hopefully he's patient and doesn't transfer. •

BUCKEYES BABY!

Maestro's picture

Speaking of hyped players........Dorian Bell is transferring to Duquense. For some guys the light turns on, or they mature physically, or they mature emotionally. I am betting that Sabino is there this season. He was super young when he came to OSU and he should be seasoned enough to be a stud this year.

vacuuming sucks

btalbert25's picture

for what it's worth, I'm not claiming he is going to be terrible, or cheering for him to be bad so I'm right.  I'm just not going to get too terribly excited about the guy until he does it on the field.  It sounds like, he's not even a clearcut first teamer.  I know he has the skill set, but he's always had that, I would just like to see him actually do something on the field before I talk about how great he is or is going to be.

Irricoir's picture

Bell made a lot more solid contributions than Sabino did. I think he has a load of talent. I have read his off the field antics are a headache and I don't doubt that after reading that twitter post attached to Buckshots.

I don't always take names when I kick ass but when I do, they most often belong to a Wolverine.

Maestro's picture

Bell - 9 career tackles
Sabino - 12 career tackles

Neither has done anything that would resemble solid contribution. Bell made 1 play against Marshall and that's all.

Survival of the fittest and so far Sabino has been willing to do what has been asked of him by taking a redshirt last season and he is now primed to start. Way more than can be said about Bell IMHO.

vacuuming sucks

btalbert25's picture

Bell hadn't been around that long though right?  Bell's problems were off the field, which are problems none the less, if he could've kept his nose clean, he probably did more on the field in a shorter time.  It's irrelevant now though, as Bell is done here.

BuckeyeSki's picture

Found this on A.T.O. and had to share:

 

This is mostly for SBB, since he can't, you know, be within 100 yds of the site anymore

Banned from BlackShoeDiaries since 2008. Crime: Slander/Defamation of Character Judgement: Guilty

TheHumbleBuckeye's picture

Why was SouthBayBuckeye banned from ATO?

BuckeyeSki's picture

For using/mocking the Subject Line

Yes, you read that correctly

Banned from BlackShoeDiaries since 2008. Crime: Slander/Defamation of Character Judgement: Guilty

NC_Buckeye's picture

What!? SBB was banned? What for in particular, do you know?

C'mon 11-W guys. That's not right. Unban him for crying out loud.

BTW, I exchanged some comments with M1EK over at OTE the other day. I was unaware that he finally got banned. Now that it seems like we'll only get a scholly or two on top of the self-administered stuff, I actually didn't mind M1EK's jabs.

 

[Commenter Update] Nevermind about SBB. I see now you were referring to ATO. I thought you meant this site.

Buckeyejason's picture

I don't think he'll be more than the Sam this year, next year he'll be put in a situation where he almost HAS to start and be good.

BUCKEYES BABY!

William's picture

He's been playing SAM in our base 4-3 defense, and when we shift to nickel he's been moving over to MIKE, so to me that seems like he'll be on the field quite often. If that's correct I think he'll be on the field more often than Klein.

Jeremy Birmingham's picture

Sabino has the tools - just needs to start playing the game "faster".  Either way, with the depth at LB already an issue, it will be very important the he gets back on the field as soon as expected.

Jeremy Birmingham's picture

Another point about Sabino - he red-shirted last year in order to learn a new position - and this year, he's not playing that position.  Now, that MIGHT be attributed to the depth chart issues, or it might be an indicator that he is just not learning what he needs to.  He graded out behind Sweat, Klein and Shazier Saturday.  

Buckeyejason's picture

I know he's been playing Mike in the nickle, and Sam in the base. Come back to me when the season starts and Klein is playing the whole game and Sabino only when Bryant or Moeller isn't in there.

The guy just can't seem to catch a break or simply isn't meant to be the big time linebacker everyone thought he'd be.

BUCKEYES BABY!

Maestro's picture

Speaking from a medical standpoint from what I read it sounds like Sabino has a metacarpal fracture with an open reduction (plate and screws) put in for stability. It must have been a pretty bad fracture to require surgery. Or it could have been a timing decision. A fracture with a plate on it and a cast is going to be more tolerant of football contact in 2 weeks than a fracture that just has cast protection.

It probably would be smartest for him to sit out the first couple of games to allow the injury more time to really heal, but he is probably pretty tired of sitting out games.

vacuuming sucks

toledobuckeyefanjim's picture

You gotta cut some slack for the latest contribution to Hoke-mania. Consider the source of the story. He's a kid who goes to scUM and majoring in communications. He probably will turn in the story to his journalism prof and get an A for it. Now I'd really be pissed if that was some ESPN twit yakking up their favorite Big Ten coach.....because ESPN loves scUM.

Colin's picture

DOES ANYONE KNOW if OSU still does the night practice in the Horseshoe that is open to the public? I saw a tweet saying there was a night practice tonight so I was just asking. 

biggy84's picture

I would like to know too!

Jason Priestas's picture

We have not heard anything about a night practice open to the public this year. They did not have one last season and I doubt they will have one this year.

Colin's picture

Okay...well that sucks. But thanks for the info. I went to the one 2 years ago and I never heard anything about one last year so I was just checking this time.