Monday Skull Session

By DJ Byrnes on August 8, 2011 at 6:00a

This weekend, ESPN, I assume because they were bored, ran another piece about all the dirty money swimming around The Ohio State University's football team. This time in the form of an "Outside the Lines" piece.

Among the revelations were people will pay a lot of money for famous peoples' signatures. Ohio State apparently has a large swath of fans willing to pay hefty prices for such signatures. $2,000 for a picture with some illegible scribbling on it? Uhhh, I better have a tree in my backyard which blooms three million dollars every spring.

I'm sorry, I just don't get the whole thing with autographs. Why the hell would I want somebody's autograph? I don't need a signature to validate the time I interacted with somebody famous, especially if it involves me standing in a line in the middle of some suburban mall for three hours so I can have a forced, awkward conversation with some guy who just wants my money. WHAT A MEMORABLE EXPERIENCE.

My roommate has a baseball signed by Kenny Lofton. (Tribe era, obvii). I think all autographs should've ended with that one--name a better autograph than that? You can't. That was also 1996 and he was 8. 

QB CONTROVERSY: Does Ohio State want youthful explosiveness or the steady hand of a veteran? Yesterday, The Plain Dealer ran article about Ohio State's vastly different options at the quarterback position. Is this really a dilemma?

Look, I ain't got no qualms with no Joe Bauserman as a human being. He's probably a likable guy. Unfortunately, I've seen him play football. During his various appearances for Ohio State (mop firmly planted in his hand), was there any Buckeye fan that said, "Man, I'd be completely cool with the idea of Joe Bauserman running the show?" I'm sure there was, but it was probably just Joe Bauserman's younger brother.

In soccer, it's called "blooding the youngsters." I've watched some high-light tapes of Braxton Miller on YouTube, and that's all I need to see. (Granted, I'm also the same guy who watched one youtube video and then told all of his friends in Montana for a year that Antonio Henton was The Next Big Thing at Ohio State--which I still contend would've happened if Antonio had never gotten wrapped up in a prostitution sting). It's not like we're winning the national title this year--so why not blood the youngster?

A Columbus Dispatch reader is disgusted with Bo Pelini. Jim Tressel & Joe Paterno's Fossil: TWO CLASSY DRESSERS. You know who isn't a classy dresser? Bo Pelini, who was called a "slob" by a guy named "Richard" who lives in Newark. IS THE BIG 10 NOT ABOVE THIS ANARCHY?

It cracks me up, picturing some dude named "Richard" in Newark watching a Bo Pelini interview and getting fired up over Pelini's attire. Not only that, but then deciding the proper course of action was writing a letter about it to the Columbus Dispatch. BOY OH BOY, RICHARD, YOU REALLY SERVED HIM NICELY. Who cares what another grown man wears? (This is the type of guy who goes home and beats his wife within an inch of her life if his chicken potpie is not properly cooled down when he goes to eat it).

Note to self: I wanna party with Method Man & Bo Pelini in Michigan when the Browns win the Super Bowl.BO PELINI: NO CONCERN OVER YOUR LETTERS

Quilts. Tractors. NEBRASKA. The first thing listed about Lincoln in this puff piece on Lincoln, Nebraska? "Quilts and tractors." Seriously, click the link and look for yourself. Third paragraph in.

I like to travel, but sorry, it's going to take more than a disheveled Bo Pelini, quilts, and some tractors to get me to go to Nebraska. And no, I don't care that they used to be good when quills were used.

West Virginia is going to be slangin' some beer at their games this year. Colleges presidents are now coming to the realization that selling beer at their football games could make them a lot of money. West Virginia, for example, expects about a million dollars from alcohol sales next year. What's the worst that could happen?? WE'RE TALKING ABOUT A MILLION DOLLARS HERE.

@JLOU_6 IS DEAD. LONG LIVE @JLOU_6. With Jonathan Newsome retiring his Twitter crown, Eleven Warriors' own commentors nominated @jlou_6 as the funniest Ohio State footballer on Twtter; and he did not disappoint. (He also apparently has a uterus?)

Unfortunately the Louis dynasty only lasted for six days. Like Twitter greats before him, Duron Carter & the aformentioned Jonathan Newsome, Louis is expected to transfer from Ohio State. FIU and Miami are in the mix for Louis' services.

Who will rise from the ashes of the Louis Dynasty? These are the pertinent questions about Ohio State football I find myself asking.

Dallas Lauderdale is heading to Poland. Lauderdale, who went admirably hard in the paint at Ohio State for nearly 13 years, signed with PGE Turow this weekend. The image of Dallas Lauderdale walking around Poland while looking lost makes me chuckle.

FANCY INTRANT THINGS. So, the richest man in the world may have lost 6.7 billion dollars in stocks, but sadly this recession has also claimed the e-Trade baby. || Facebook's "King of Spam" now hangs out at Google+. || Afro Kobe Bryant could really jump || You have probably heard of a "FlashMob", but have you heard of the new hustle: the "FlashRob"? || My favorite Tumblr of the week || A kingly picture of King Warren G. Harding! And another too, since I forgot last week. || The five craziest North Korean children's stories. || Hacker stock art. || Things probably didn't end well for this leprechaun.


Comments Show All Comments

The Vest-er's picture

I'm with you on Henton. He was a taller Troy Smith. Another reason to not like Boekman.

Fundamentals are a crutch for the talentless.

thorvath22's picture

I remember he had the same mechanics as Troy as well...could of been a good one but prostitutes and Pryor coming here ended that...I also remember Robby Shoenhoft and thinking damn that dude it big for qb.

tampa buckeye's picture

Nice read but I disagree with the last part of the qb review...With the d-line Ohio State has this year they could win the National Title.  Simon, Big Hank, Williams will all play in the NFL.

iball's picture

It's called the eyeball test, Miller passes , Bauserman fails. Who in their right minds still believes this is a competition?

“There’s one thing I have learned through all my adventures and conquests - it’s that some people are just wired for success. I had no choice when it came to being great - I just am great.” – Kenny Powers

303 Buckeye's picture

With Tressel as coach, I would have thought it still was. But Fickell isn't taking any chances with "experience" if that experience sucks at football.  He's going with talent, albeit raw talent, all the way.

I wouldn't put Roy Halladay at QB just because he has a good arm, same logic with Bauserman. The dude should be on a baseball field somewhere, not competing for a starting spot on the OSU football roster. Just my 2 cents.

Bucks's picture

Even when JT was here, it made no sense to me with Bauser. For a guy who valued smart ball control/decision making over almost anything else? Scratching my head on that still. For any of the 11W staffers who have gone to some practices and all that, has Bauserman ever shown promise/excelled in non-game time?

Chris Lauderback's picture

I've been to only roughly 8-10 practices/scrimmages over the years and I have yet to see Bauserman do anything productive...nless you count taking a sack versus throwing a pick productive.

O-H Kee Pa's picture

Not to mention that, based on the check-in pictures yesterday, his physique does NOTHING to inspire confidence. He looked awful.

Colin's picture

He looks like a 40 year old, out of shape man who works at Target

O-H Kee Pa's picture

Right. One would think that considering the opportunity before him, he would have the best offseason of his life and come into camp looking slightly more lean and athletic than he has in the past. Nope.

Bucks's picture

It just pisses me off to no end that he has received the bulk of garbage time over some of these other QB's. Granted, we pretty much all seem to believe the future is with Braxton ... if something unforseen occurs, I'd rather have kids with talent having taken the snaps.


O-H Kee Pa's picture

JakeBuckeye posted this yesterday, and I 100% agree. We have NOTHING to lose this year by putting Braxton out there. I know; we're Ohio State, "3 yards and a cloud of dust," conservative play calling. Whatever. Let's go balls to the wall and be a little crazy for once.

Bucksfan's picture

That's a totally fair assessment.  I'd go one notch farther and say that Bauserman has no NFL future, either.  So, it's not like a situation at USC where you play your best senior QB, even if it's only for 1 year and even if you have a guy who's better sitting on the sideline, because that guy is auditioning for a job in the NFL, and you have that reputation as a QB factory to uphold.  Putting your stock in Bauserman simply because he's a senior is, and has always been, a major flaw in logic at Ohio State under Tressel.  Ohio State isn't a pure passer NFL factory.  It's always been a school that relies on efficiency and dual-threat scrambling ability (and there were seriously only 2-3 exceptions in 100 years).

We saw it with Belisari, where Krenzel's scrambling ability might have been better utilized.  We saw it with the Zwick/Smith controversy, when the talent choice was CLEAR.  We saw it with Boeckman in 2008...that's the most important one to point out, probably.  And we might be seeing it again this year.

I don't even think Bauserman is better than Kenny Guiton, and honestly, why the hell aren't we giving that kid more of a look?

thorvath22's picture

I wouldn't say schlister, bobby hoying, kent graham, greg frye, joe germain where all "pocket" passing or pass first kinda guys...I do agree though we have never been known to breed the protypical nfl quarterbacks but we mostly have been successful with the qb that can distribute and keep plays alive...troy smith is the perfect osu qb...not overly athletic but is smart and can distribute the ball to the other great athletes....our offense was always awkward with Pryor. I don't care who the qb is by name so long as they can run the offense with no turn overs and make a play when we need it....I personally think Braxton Miller or Kenny Guiton will be that guy, Bauserman is too much of a gunslinger and Graham would suffer the same unfortunate fate as Boeckman if the the O-line fails.

Todd-Not Boeckmann's picture

Whooo.  Schlichter could run.  He was a true athlete.  Hoying had running ability as well. Greg Frye?  Umm only when the entire DLine fell down laughing.  Kent Graham?  To this day, based on his play in Columbus, I am still flabbergasted that he played as long as he did in the NFL.  Just goes to show that Earle really did know how to screw up what little talent he had in his later years.

On the wall guarding the North Coast from all Weasel invasions.

buckeyedude's picture

Watch it Colin. I'm an out-of-shape 40+ year old(but I work @ Wal-mart. Kidding).

By the freakin' way: How much more eligibility could Bauserman have?

I'm all in with Braxton, but I just don't want him to get hurt his rookie season.



303 Buckeye's picture

Lol at that "flash rob" article. I especially liked the Knockout King game, which for some reason i don't think people really play.  I think it's more like the "let's go f*** that whiteboy up and take his wallet" game.  Not trying to be racist there, could definitely go either way.

loved the quote "Let's kill all the white people around here" haha.

3 Yards And A Cloud of Dust's picture

Thanks for the reminder 303 - when I took the 11W survey, I forgot to suggest an "ignore" button in the comment section to block specific posts or posters.

buckeyedude's picture

My 20 year old nephew got beat up by three dudes that just happened to be black two weekends ago, a block away from his home here in Toledo. True.  Messed him up pretty bad. No broken bones, but plenty of stitches on the head and two black eyes and a broken nose. Bruised ribs. The typical.

For the record: my nephew Craig is caucasian. Can you say "hate crime?"



Denny's picture

Bo Pelini better dress better lest he want the endorsement of Richard in Newark. Makes sense to me. Unfortunately I'd guess that Richard in Newark believes that camoflauge clothing is stylish, since that seems to be the rage with the kids these days.

animalsbeingdicks is endless entertainment.


Buckeye in Illini country's picture


Wow, finally something good produced by a writer at ESPiN.  Of course Schaap only mentions the word Ohio once in the whole article (granted it is about his Olympic exploits and not his collegiate.  Although the records he broke in Germany were already his, as far I know of.)

Columbus to Pasadena: 35 hours.  "We're on a road trip through the desert looking for strippers and cocaine... and Rose Bowl wins!"

btalbert25's picture

Have you ever burnt your tongue on a hot pot pie?  I mean seriously, if it's not cooled down enough bitch has it coming.

btalbert25's picture

I'm with you on autographs.  I don't get it.  I will say though I do have one pretty awesome autograph story from a few years ago.  One of my buddies and I decided last minute to head to a reds game.  We scored some nice tickets at GABP and cabbed it over.  About the 5th inning a foul ball comes our way bounces off of my hands and goes right to my friend.  So, after the game we decide to head over to walk across the suspension bridge and go to Covington and hang out in MainStrauss. 

After a while at the bar, and about 10 beers I turn and see Adam Dunn and Austin Kearns.  Normally, a chance run in with an athlete or celebrity isn't an invitation to run over and talk to them but I was 10 beers in and didn't care.  So I go over and talk to them and realize wait a second, we have a ball from the game.  So I get my buddy who has the ball in the pocket of his cargo shorts.  We explain the situation and both guys are happy to sign the ball.  They said, some more of the guys are here.  We see Juan Castro and former manager Dave Miley.  Then Todd Jones came up and actually talked to us for a while.  Then I turn, and there is Ken Griffey Jr.  I'm a baseball fanatic first and formost so to see one of the games greatest up close and personal was a huge deal.  He was very friendly and patient with my drunk ass and thanked me for coming to the games and being a fan.  At the end of the night we walked out with a foul ball from the stadium and the signatures of every player and coach that happened to be in the bar that night.  It was an awesome night. 

Despite that story, I don't get what the big deal about autographs is though.  I worked for an airline on the ramp and we would get celebrities occasionally and other employees would ask for autographs and I would always think how unprofessional it is.  I ran into Tubby Smith at a high school game one time.  UK fans wouldn't let the man sit in peace and watch his son play basketball.  The entire game he was bombarded.  I understand it comes with the territory, I just wouldn't want to be in their shoes.  Of course I'd love the millions they get though lol.

ih8rolltyde's picture

It seems as if pellini is ripping off a monster burp in that pic.

****igan smells like old water that hot dogs were boiled in.  FACT

GoBucks713's picture

Is that Method Man in the background in the Green Lantern shirt?

-The Aristocrats!

AcrossTheField11's picture

Yes... a monster burp that is the product of finishing his 15th beer of the evening as the result of the Tribe's bullpen blowing another crucial lead and / or the Tribe's offense failing to produce more than 3 runs.

Time and change will surely show how firm they friendship... O-HI-O.

buckeyedude's picture

West Virginia is going to be slangin' some beer at their games this year

Uh...the NCAA doesn't have a problem with this?




DJ Byrnes's picture

The NCAA has no rule preventing alcohol sales at regular-season events. However, the organization bans sales and advertising of all alcohol at its 88 championships. Additionally, championship host sites must cover up alcohol-related advertising.

Californian by birth, Marionaire by the Grace of President Warren G. Harding.

buckeyedude's picture

I did not know that DJ! If Ohio State were to sell brewskis at their home games, it damn well better be Buckeye Beer from Maumee Bay Brewing here in Toledo! A nice pale ale similar to Bud and Miller(I realize those two are lagers, not ales).



blazers34's picture

UC and U of L both sell beer.  Its glorious.

klfeck's picture

UC games are anything but glorious. A bunch of drunks with their backs to the game. Clogging up the aisles making it almost impossible to walk. No thanks. Maybe its because the game is the least interesting thing to watch at UC games, but if that is the model, I will pass.



Proud parent of a Senior at The Ohio State University

OSU BUCkS's picture

Is it just me or do you all think we should give guilton a shot he looked pretty good in the spring game

Joe Beale's picture

True, but Miller looked better.

doodah_man's picture


Is it just me and my twisted lawyer brain or has anyone else noticed a potential anti-trust aspect to ESPN's behavior (anti-competitive behavior (monopoly) and unfair business practices) in its coverage and response to tOSU situation and tOSU in general?

Competing networks (Big 10 and ESPN); ESPN attacks and "piles on" tOSU and continues general disdain towards Big 10 schools and schedules. This steers more recruits (to over sign) to SEC schools (15-year deal with ESPN to televise football games and other league sports), allowing ESPN to continue to tout SEC speed, strength of schedule, coverage, bad mouth the Big 10 (and other conferences), drawing more viewers and revenue. Don't even get me started on their journalistic integrity. How many teams/conferences do other "fourth estate" entities have a contract with? 

Of course you may say what is good for the goose...Big 10 Network, their deal with the Big 10. I see that as nothing more than providing a TV venue to Big 10 sports (perhaps even those sports that would otherwise receive no coverage, women's lacrosse, fencing). I don't think that the Big 10 Network has ever held itself out as a font of journalism. 

I mean if a corporation engaged in this type of behavior.....just sayin.

Jim "DooDah" Day

"If I were giving a young man advice as to how he might succeed in life, I would say to him, pick out a good father and mother, and begin life in Ohio.” --Wilbur Wright, 1910

OSU BUCkS's picture

i agree with that although they go after Kentucky all the time

Bucksfan's picture

Not really, unfortunately.  In fact, the exact opposite may be true, and that their behavior is indicative of more competition.  Because the Big Ten Network siphoned off a huge hunk of ESPN's college football revenue, ESPN has to make Big Ten football look less valuable in any way that it can.  They rely on the fact that these teams in the Big Ten will still be ranked highly regardless of what they say (which is true, for now anyway), so it is in their interest to try to make the BTN lose money and fail so ESPN can re-take their huge market share.  That's the way I see it, anyway.  The only way for ESPN to get casual Big Ten watchers to tune in ALL the time is to bash them, and get us mad.  Praising Big Ten teams would be free advertising for the BTN...which competes with ESPN GamePlan subscriptions.

Why else are they so high on Oklahoma?  It's not like Oklahoma is a squeaky clean program (Rhett Bomar).  It's because ESPN is front-running the start of Texas-only and Oklahoma-only cable channels.

NC_Buckeye's picture

Take a look at some of the articles on IAMTHE12THMAN for another situation where journalistic integrity and conflict of interest is in play at the WWLiSR.

If what some Aggies are reporting is true, DeLoss Dodds and ESPiN are telling boldface lies about what's being planned for the LHN. For the life of me, I don't understand why the Aggies aren't outraged at ESPiN like us Buckeyes are. They still see the folks in Bristol as benevolent businessmen that are just trying to do what's best for the bottom-line. 

Luke's picture

The window of opportunity for Watch The Throne jokes/references was this morning and I'm afraid it may have closed. And you call yourself a DJ.

Denny's picture

Everyone's a critic and most people are DJs


DJ Byrnes's picture

I don't care for Kanye, and I don't feel like listening to octogenarian Jay-Z weez over the microphone. Haven't listened to a song yet.

Californian by birth, Marionaire by the Grace of President Warren G. Harding.

btalbert25's picture

The funny thing is, if you talk to SEC fans or fans of rival schools, they think ESPN doesn't respect them enough or somehow pro Ohio State.  They think Herbie always talks about Ohio State and Ohio State only.  They still think somehow the media loves Ohio State and hates their schools.

Denny's picture

All media is biased against team ____. Just ask the fans of team ____.



Colin's picture


Denny's picture

Super, super serial you guys!


doodah_man's picture

Don't know if I see that here. I live in Montgomery, Alabama, at the crossroads of Auburn (60 miles) and Alabama (100 miles). Big 10 is out of sight, out of mind. They tend to wallow in the self perceived magnificence of the SEC and whatever SEC team they support.

Jim "DooDah" Day

"If I were giving a young man advice as to how he might succeed in life, I would say to him, pick out a good father and mother, and begin life in Ohio.” --Wilbur Wright, 1910