Seated on his throne, bedecked with furs and the broken shields of his challengers, Urban Meyer looked out upon his retinue. Grovelling before his sight, one of his assorted bannermen had the temerity to approach his throne to ask a question.
Crawling upon his belly like a whipped dog, the lordling mumbled as loudly as he dared, "M-my lord... what is best in life?"
As Urban Meyer's piercing stare fell upon the impudent interloper, the man nearly fainted on the spot. With one hand, Meyer picked up his massive warhammer, and appeared to briefly consider turning this peon into a bright red stain on the floor of his banquet hall.
Instead, he examined his mighty weapon, turning it over as he mused,
@Johnny11W To crush your conference, see them driven before you... And to hear the lamentations of the Harbaugh.
— Derek Reed (@derekreed) October 1, 2016
And that's where we're at right now. Next week there's a huge game coming up, but right now, Ohio State looks like possibly the most complete team in the country. Especially on offense, where it seems like literally every single skill position player all the way to the third string could start for any other team in the country. That's an exaggeration insofar as it's probably not true for maybe about a half dozen teams, but the nice thing about blowing out teams is that you get to see a lot of extremely young players who are backing up also extremely young players.
It makes you realize that top to bottom, this team is stacked with talent, and when your biggest enemy is "boredom," you've got a really good thing going.
THE PLAYERS
Can't explain how much fun that was
— Matthew Burrll Jr!! (@majiiinbuu) October 1, 2016
Great team win! #4-0 #GoBucks
— Terry McLaurin (@TheTerry_25) October 1, 2016
Great team win today! Always a pleasure playing with friends you grew up with! @AlanOchoCinco pic.twitter.com/AXxIeqsSaZ
— Liam McCullough (@LiamMcCullough2) October 1, 2016
Just working on getting better every week, I don't need the hype. I'm good over here!
— Marshon Lattimore (@shonrp2) October 1, 2016
Only one false start today btw. For the dummies out there. Yeah I'm talking to you
— Beeezy (@MarcusBaugh85) October 1, 2016
Congrats to my dawgs @PCampbell21 @YoungKing_JD5 @TheTerry_25 on they first tds today! Love yall boys many more to come #Zone6
— Noah Brown (@Nb_Eight0) October 1, 2016
4-0 is a great feeling
— leek (@Leek_8) October 1, 2016
A SMALL SAMPLING OF THE TWEETS BINJIMEN VICTOR ADORABLY RETWEETED WHILE IN A FRENZY OF EXCITEMENT ABOUT HIS FIRST COLLEGIATE GAME
I see you @BinjimenVictor with the snag
— Jonathan Young (@J_Y0ung12) October 1, 2016
@BinjimenVictor yea B Vic !!!
— Victor Ferrante (@VictorFerrante0) October 1, 2016
@BinjimenVictor Well done! #GoBucks
— Katie Gill Sweeney (@KtSSweeney) October 1, 2016
First career catch for @BinjimenVictor
— Jarod (@Crumbs_81) October 1, 2016
Congrats on your first career catch @BinjimenVictor! #GoBucks
— Antonio (@AntonioDuman) October 1, 2016
THE ALUMNI
@JimCordle63 High five! pic.twitter.com/5FPtugWyFQ
— Lori Schmidt (@LoriSchmidt) October 1, 2016
Salute @YoungKing_JD5 @PCampbell21 @TheTerry_25
— Mike Thomas (@Cantguardmike) October 1, 2016
Great day with the Boys at #TheShoe pic.twitter.com/oTos630iuq
— Bobby Carpenter (@Bcarp3) October 1, 2016
Always makes me happy to see them bucks dominate! I'm really their biggest fan
— Eli Apple (@EliApple13) October 1, 2016
Mccall is good!
— Beanie Wells (@BeanieWells26) October 1, 2016
Thank you so much to @MalcolmJenkins for paying forward to @OhioState #GoBucks pic.twitter.com/rPkNAKIxnA
— gene smith (@OSU_AD) October 1, 2016
THE REST
Coach Bruce is on his way to #TheShoe! pic.twitter.com/ICXfsPT3B4
— OSU Marching Band (@TBDBITL) October 1, 2016
@BeauBishop I'm awesome. OSU is awesome. JT for Heisman and a table
— Candice Lee (@SideEyeSassShow) October 1, 2016
Todays +553 margin vs. Rutgers was Ohio State's largest margin in a single game under Urban Meyer. pic.twitter.com/JcJfLSqdkG
— SportsCenter (@SportsCenter) October 1, 2016
Had a great time at my first ever Buckeyes game! O-H-I-O #GoBucks #OSU pic.twitter.com/pFOLsxzr67
— Sarah Anderson (@seaside1508) October 1, 2016
SALTY AUSTRALIAN TWEET OF THE WEEK
Gotta love watching the offense play so well, but definitely makes for a quiet day for me! #nopunts #GoBucks
— Cameron Johnston (@Cam_Johnston) October 1, 2016
You ever notice how these early-season drubbings of garbage teams are a lot more fun without a quarterback controversy? Next week the stakes get higher as the opponent gets tougher, but I'm feeling pretty good about how that one might turn out. See you next week!
