Your Last Chance to Get Into Eat Too, Brutus IV

By 11W Staff on September 26, 2013 at 10:45a

There are 47 seconds remaining in the San Diego State game. Sophomore defensive end Jamal Marcus crashes in on Aztec quarterback Quinn Kaehler, sacking him to force a fumble, which was recovered by Marcus' teammate, Chris Carter. It was garbage time, yet a big play as far as garbage time goes.

When Marcus reaches the sideline, Mike Vrabel grabs him, removes his helmet and delivers a religious experience to the young player.

What did Vrabel say? Whether serious, funny, or just outright weird, comment with what you think Vrabel said to Marcus and you could win two tickets to sold out Eat Too, Brutus IV. It's the only way anyone without a ticket is going to get in at this point. And Bradley Roby wants us to have fun Saturday, so who are you to argue with the man?

We'll go by upvotes, taking the 10 comments with the most votes and picking a winner from that bunch.

The fine print:

  • Must be 21 years-old or older.
  • Deadline for entries is noon on Friday, Sept. 27, 2013.

Good luck!


Comments Show All Comments

OSU_ALUM_05's picture

I love you

Yeti's have feelings too.

BlockO's picture

*blushing I love you

"faith seeking understanding” (fides quaerens intellectum)

awlinBrutus's picture

Vrabel: " MICHIGAN STILL SUCKS"!!!!!!!
Jamall: "True Dat Coach"


timhbomb's picture

Vrabel: "I'm gonna take your helmet off because the last time I head-butted someone I had to get stitches.
JM: "uhhh....ok"

willshire58's picture

Do you like...tuna fish?


We need that from you every play son!

Nothing clinses the sole like getting the hell kicked out of you - Woody Hayes

BTBuckeye's picture

"For our treaties, whatever they may be worth; our symphonies, however seldom they may be played; our peaceful acres, however frequently they may be converted into battlefields; our dreams, however rarely they may be accomplished. The miracle of Jamal Marcus is not how much he plays, but how magnificently he has risen. We are known among the stars by our forced fumbles, not our game reps"

tennisbuck24's picture

Vrabel: "Do you like Fish Sticks"
JM: "yea coach"
Vrabel: "then you must be a gay fish"
JM: "......."

GoBucks713's picture

I love the South Park reference!

-The Aristocrats!

awwwwwwop's picture


"Who cares? Go Bucks." - Aaron Untch

45OH4IO's picture

You swallowed his soul. Now GIVE IT TO ME!!!

CCatanzaro's picture

Doh, accidental downvote.  Sorry friend!

Dairy-fed intellect and pure, unhinged sass.


45OH4IO's picture

Vrabel is coming for you too, now. No prob.

awlinBrutus's picture

mine wasn't.


osumastro's picture

"Warren G. Harding is smiling down upon you from the Heavens"

DJ Byrnes's picture

Californian by birth, Marionaire by the Grace of President Warren G. Harding.

jdagrava.1's picture

Vrabel sings the chorus of "Let's Give 'Em Something to Talk About"
Jamal: "Your voice is like a combination of Fergie... and Jesus."

"It takes a little something special to be a great player.  What you got in you, we're going to find out.  And if there's a touch of greatness in there, how cool would that be?"

-Urban F. Meyer

RBuck's picture

I have new socks on.

Long live the southend.

Hovenaut's picture

I know it was YOU, broke my heart.

You broke my heart.

bodast67's picture

Always love a good Godfather reference HOV...




     " I hope when I die, I die laughing"...                

Hovenaut's picture

Darn it....

Please be advised I am not eligible to win this, I'd love to go, but stuck in Maryland.

This year.

I couldn't pass up the moment, Jamal is totally channeling his inner Fredo there.

Thanks for the ups though, and good luck to the dubbers looking to make it to E2B4, it sure sounds like a great time for a great game and greater cause.

BlockO's picture

Vrable: I dreamed about you last night
Jm: ok coach

"faith seeking understanding” (fides quaerens intellectum)

buck i's picture

"I wish I knew how to quit you."

buckeyeEddie27's picture

this wins.         damn it.

I know there's a game Saturday, and my ass will be there.

buckeyeEddie27's picture

"After the game I'm taking you and your mother Dorothy Marcus to a nice seafood dinner"

I know there's a game Saturday, and my ass will be there.


+1 if i could for the Anchorman reference!

Nothing clinses the sole like getting the hell kicked out of you - Woody Hayes

Abe Froman's picture

I love a good reference to Ron Burgandy.....errr   Dorothy Mantooth.

Basking in the wake of mediocrity.....

Grayskullsession's picture

Vrabel: "That was fantastic! How did you do that so easily?"
Marcus: "I just imagined I was Bert and the ball was a case of Bud Light Lime."

"if irony were made of strawberries, we' d all be drinking a lot of smoothies right now."

NilesPacMan's picture

"Good. Use your aggressive feelings, Jamal. Let the hate flow through you."

pandrana's picture

"I'm not going to let Coach Coombs yell at you for a full week"

buckeyefanatic's picture

This one made me laugh.

How many batteries does it take to beat Michigan football?   1AA
Want to beat Michigan? There's an App for that.

BuckAlum35's picture

Vrabel: Jamal, after that play I am willing to believe the paternity test....I am your real father!

averagejoel419's picture

"Next time you sack a quarterback, you take off our helmet and look at him like this and tell him, remember this face, remember who did this to you, and im comin for you all freakin night!"

cdubs's picture

"Shut up. Just shut up, bro!"
"You had me at hello."

The TresselMeyer's picture

"Son, that was a helluva play. Helluva play, that's exactly what we're looking for out there."
**Takes deep breath, looks deep into Jamal's soul with a steely glare**
"I do want to make sure you're aware that, while sacking the mighty Aztecs' QB in garbage time is a great sign, there are greater things on the horizon for you, for me, for Buckeye football. I need you to fully buy into what I'm saying. And in order to fully understand what I'm talking about.... TUNE IN TO ​11W TONIGHT AT 8:00 FOR 9ROUTE'S EXCLUSIVE ANNOUNCEMENT!!!"

Brady Hoke's reaction to the Urban Meyer hire: "Not good."

AirForceNUT's picture

"If you play like that during the game with those shit holes up North, I'll give you a piggy back ride :)"

Rapping Bum's picture

MV: 'And that Jamal, is why you do not cook bacon naked'.

Help is on the way.

jbenz's picture

Vrabel: You were supposed to drop into coverage!
Marcus: But coach, I knew I could get to the QB.
Vrabel: Well you just triggered the Independent Thought Alarm. Now I have to ask Coombs to remove all the colored chalk from the classrooms.
[Coombs, off camera]: I warned ya! Didn't I warn ya!?

JasonR's picture

+1 for Simpsons ref.

Baroclinicity's picture

"Is this the biggest dip lip you've ever seen, Jamal?  Is it?!?!"

When you're holding a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

steveoz49's picture


MAVBuck's picture

Congratulations, youre now 1/36th as good as I was

nm_buck's picture

Is that a 'Breathe Right' or just a cheap knockoff??

"The future is bright at Ohio State."  - Urban Meyer 1/1/15

Sofa Kingdom's picture

Jamal, do you know what I love about college girls....

Hovenaut's picture

Automatic +1, Wooderson reference.

"watch the leather, maaan!"

Sofa Kingdom's picture

I love them redheads!

toad1204's picture

See, no scar.

Nothing like dancing on the field in 02... 

CCatanzaro's picture

"I.. I must draw you."

Dairy-fed intellect and pure, unhinged sass.


Sgt. Elias's picture

JM: "Hey, Corch Vrabro, how come they ain't blockin' us?"
MV: "Because we're in the spirit world, asshole. They can't see us."

"Okay -- I've got an El Camino full of rampage here." 

Squirrel Master's picture

Excellent! +1
and for those who don't know this,

I saw a UFO told me to have a goodyear!

hodge's picture


As a side note, this entry's for funsies only; I'm already attending the event.

Citrus's picture

Jamal, I am your father Jamal.


SaltyD0gg's picture

Vrabel: Do I have something in my eye?
Jamal: No, sir.
Vrabel: Will you blow in it?
Jamal: Um, this is getting weird.

Pain of Discipline

Pain of Regret

Take Your Pick

PG_BUCK's picture

Marcus: What is my OSU nickname?
Vrabel: Coach Coombs and I thought long and hard about this, your OSU nickname is...Flounder.
Marcus: Flounder?


kbuckeye's picture

If speed kills, then you are an assassin!

d1145fresh's picture

"I baptize you in the name of the Tressel and of the Urban and of the Holy Woody... amen. Now can I get an O-H"

d1145fresh's picture

If you think of this while watching the .gif it matches up a lot better 

Jdadams01's picture

"How f---ing dare anyone out there make fun of Britney after all she has been through!
She lost her aunt, she went through a divorce. She had two f---ing kids.
Her husband turned out to be a user, a cheater, and now she’s going through a custody battle. All you people care about is.. readers and making money off of her.
SHE’S A HUMAN!! What you don’t realize is that Britney is making you all this money and all you do is write a bunch of crap about her.
She hasn’t performed on stage in years. Her song is called give me more for a reason because all you people want is MORE! MORE- MORE, MORE, MORE!
LEAVE HER ALONE! You are lucky she even performed for you BASTARDS!
Perez Hilton talked about professionalism and said if Britney was a professional she would’ve pulled it off no matter what.
Speaking of professionalism, when is it professional to publicly bash someone who is going through a hard time.
Leave Britney Alone Please. !
Leave Britney Spears alone! Right now! I mean it!
Anyone that has a problem with her you deal with me, because she is not well right now.

kbuckeye's picture

Wrecked 'em? Damn near killed 'em!

PG_BUCK's picture

Vrabel: What happened to Hannah Montana? I just...I just don't understand where it all went so wrong?
Marcus: uhhhhhhhhh Coach you feeling alright?


Doc's picture

"I'ma going to kiss you right on the lips!"

CJDPHoS Member

The Official DDS of 11W

slicksickle's picture

He sang a verse of his favorite song:
"Little black submarines
Operator, please,
Put me back on the line
Told my girl I'd be back
Operator, please,
This is wrecking my mind."

Breakawayspeed's picture

" I WANT you on that wall!....I NEED you on that wall ! "

BearcatBuckeye's picture

"You are the one who knocks!"

JasonR's picture


BuckeyeFreak4844's picture

Vrabel   JM you are bleeding!
JM        I aint got time to bleed!
JM        Where is Coach Meyer?
Vrabel   Down by the Olentangy Walking on water!

Michigan Sucks!

jfunk's picture

Quite a curious mix of Predator and Tombstone quotes you got going there...

Scotch: It may be too early to drink it, yes; but people it is never to early to think about it.

BuckeyeFreak4844's picture

Hahaha yeah my mind is always all over the place!

Michigan Sucks!

Ohioste's picture

"And that's why you decided to be a Buckeye!"

Mizzillion's picture

MV: "Jamal, Think! Where did you leave the bathroom key?"
JM: "I'm Sorry. I..."
MV: "I really, REALLY need that key!"
JM: "I know. I..."
MV: "I'm serious! I reaall --- too late. Nevermind."

kbuckeye's picture

Brothers don't shake hands. Brothers gotta hug!

Larryp713's picture

Vrabel: "Do you know what you look like to me, Marcus, with your good helmet and bad shoes? You look like a rube, a well-scrubbed, rushing rube. Good coaching has given you strength of technique, but in reality you're only one week removed from being run all over the field in Berkely. And oh, how the Aztecs blocked you, with all the tedious holdings and chop blocks, while you could dream about getting through, to the backfield, get all the way to the opposing QB!"



BullCityBuckeye's picture

You forgot to mention that Vrabel used his best Anthony Hopkins impersonation.  +1 for creativity.

Crimson's picture

"Well surely you must be the son of God!"

OSUBias's picture

"Do you realize what you've done?!?!?!?! [looks over to FAMU sideline]
"I'm sorry, my friend's a little slow. The back that way"

7 yards and a cloud of dust is a beautiful thing

vitaminB's picture

Now you spit in my mouth.

gwright78's picture

"Jamal, I'm going to gently remove your helmet, and if it was socially acceptable, I would kiss you on those gorgeous lips."

Or something.

Squirrel Master's picture

I won't be able to make it, so don't vote for me please.
Vrabs: "then she hugged me"
JM: "she hugged you? how'd she hug you?"
Vrabs: (grabs JM)
JM: "is that her perfume I smell?"
Vrabs: "Intoxicating isn't it?"

I saw a UFO told me to have a goodyear!

Bradyhokescholesterol's picture

"Tell me about the f***ing golf shoes!"
Hunter S. Vrabel

Ethan's picture

Vrabel didn't say anything: in a fit of excitement, his face was contorted to something like...THIS!

AndyVance's picture

Ah, Large Marge, may she rest in peace.

GoBucks713's picture

I was totally going to use this!

-The Aristocrats!

stevepoland's picture


albinomosquito's picture

Jamal,  I am your father...

kbuckeye's picture

That was ballsy, Jamal.

albinomosquito's picture

Your girlfriend is pregnant..

wentz's picture

"Son! I could lick that stripe right off your nose!"

ScarletGrayFire's picture

J:  Yes, sir
J:  Yes, sir
V: GET SOME MORE!!!  GET SOME MORE!!!  GET SOME MORE!!!  (then mumbles something about violent hands...

One Bad Buckeye's picture

Vrabel: "Do you realize what you've just DONE!?!?!?"

"I'm One Bad Buckeye, and I approve this message."

BuckeyeBoyer85's picture

Vrabel: I want to testify (stomps foot) to the holy ghost. In the name of Harley, in the name of Woody...
JM: Car-men coach, Car-men.
Vrabel: Praise Urban.

Wayne Woodrow Hayes

RedStorm45's picture

MV - "Wooo! Way to go bro, now get me a red bull!"
JM - "Uhm, how do I say this...Coach Coombs drank them all..."

One Bad Buckeye's picture

Vrabel: "You went full beast mode....ALWAYS GO FULL BEAST MODE!" 

"I'm One Bad Buckeye, and I approve this message."

One Bad Buckeye's picture


"I'm One Bad Buckeye, and I approve this message."

BUCKtuckian's picture

VRABEL: Do you know what day it is? Don't you dare say Hump Day!!!!
JM: No coach, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn last night.

People are saying that I'm an alcoholic, and that's not true, because I only drink when I work, and I'm a workaholic.
Ron White

One Bad Buckeye's picture

Vrabel: "You have your helmet off and you're standing toe-to-toe with with a man who snacks on NFL QB's and already has a callused forehead.  Jamal, you just have to ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?" ya?....Punk?"

"I'm One Bad Buckeye, and I approve this message."

kbuckeye's picture

Vrabel: Oh good, you're back. Let me tell you more about my college days...

Doc's picture

Jamal, "So you're saying Heisenberg is Walt?"

CJDPHoS Member

The Official DDS of 11W

One Bad Buckeye's picture

Vrabel: "Marcus! Why did you recover that fumble so quickly Marcus?!?"
Marcus: "Because you told me to coach?"
Vrabel: "JESUS H-Christ! This is a new team record! If it wouldn't be such a waste of such a DAMN fine scholarship student athlete, I would recommend you for the NFL DRAFT, Marcus! YOU are GONNA BE A CAPTAIN SOMEDAY! NOW! PUT YOUR HELMET BACK ON AND CONTINUE!!!!" 
Frank Epitropulous: "Anyway, like I was sayin'....."

"I'm One Bad Buckeye, and I approve this message."

Berniebucks78's picture

Vrabel: "You must have stayed at a Holiday Inn Express Last night."

"Indecision may (or may not) be my downfall."

BUCKtuckian's picture

Heyyy your stealing my shtick !!
You wanna kick my dog and bang my sister while you're at it??

People are saying that I'm an alcoholic, and that's not true, because I only drink when I work, and I'm a workaholic.
Ron White

AndyVance's picture

I like dogs, but what's your sister look like?

BUCKtuckian's picture

People are saying that I'm an alcoholic, and that's not true, because I only drink when I work, and I'm a workaholic.
Ron White

AndyVance's picture

Wait, are we still talking about your dog, or your sister? I'm suddenly confused...

cinserious's picture

Marcus! You're on planet Earth and this is Ohio Stadium!

One day I will valiantly become a political prisoner of 11W jail.

Buckeyeboy's picture

Coach Vrabel: "Listen Jamal! Can you hear me?!"
Jamal: "Yes sir."
Vrabel: "That's what I'm talkin' about!"
"That's toughness!"
"That's Ohio State Football!"
"That's how we play at the next level!"
"I'm so proud of you!"

Go Bucks!

kareemabduljacobb's picture


MrChengsaw's picture

V: "Sweep the leg."
M: [stares at him in shock]
V: "Do you have a problem with that?"
M: "No, Sensei."
V: "No mercy."

Jcole737's picture

Sack-Fumbles, They hot.

Stinson's picture

"What have you done to beat Michigan today?"

"The height of human desire is what wins, whether it's on Normandy Beach or in Ohio Stadium." -Wayne Woodrow Hayes

Illibuck11's picture

Mike: "You...complete me"
Jamal: "Shut up, just shut up.  You had me at hello."

GoBucks713's picture

-The Aristocrats!

SnooBucki's picture

I see dead people!

buckeyeme's picture

Your eyes are as pretty as Mr. Bradys are!

TheBadOwl's picture

"You did well. You saw where the ball was, and you got it...
....But can you see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch?"

When I walked in this morning and saw the flag was at half mast I thought, "Alright, another bureaucrat ate it." but then I saw it was Li'l Sebastian. Half mast is too high. Show some damn respect.

BuckeyeSouth's picture

"The next time you use my helmet without asking first, I'm taking you to the woodshed."

Champions.  Undisputed.  

1MechEng's picture

"Marcus, have you ever been in a Turkish Prison?"

Larryp713's picture

Vrabel: "Do you like to watch men shower? Never mind, this isn't State College."



jimkang's picture

JM- What up Coach?
MV- I just wanted to make sure your head condom was still on. Don't forget to shave that face before you go out tongiht.

Devin1024's picture

That'll do Pig, that'll do.

kbuckeye's picture

There's a grown-ass man under this helmet.

Killer nuts's picture

You selflessly switch from linebacker to defensive end and good things like that happen. #karma

SnooBucki's picture

May the force be with you.

UFest57's picture

MV: You will be Mine. Oh yes. You will be Mine.

OSUnathen's picture

" Jamal do you realize that it is 6:38 and MICHIGAN STILL SUCKS!"

Bolt's picture

Vrabel: Jamal, do you know who Alvin Mack is?

PG_BUCK's picture

Marcus: I....I....I'm Sorry. Please don't head butt me!


One Bad Buckeye's picture

SUCK UP!!!!!


"I'm One Bad Buckeye, and I approve this message."

kevinfrenchfry's picture

I want the blood, give me the blood Eli!
(Builds a pipeline)

droessl's picture

and Marcus would've gotten away with it if it weren't for those meddling coaches.

SnooBucki's picture

Jamal, do I have any boogers in my nose?!

kbuckeye's picture

I thought I told you to twerk when you make a big play!

mtgerken's picture

Vrabel: Do you like pancakes?
Marcus: What the Hale?
Vrabel: Do you like pancakes? 
Marcus: YES COACH!
Vrabel: Good, you've earned some after the game while everyone else goes and cleans up Buckeye Grove. 

"Because I couldn't go for three!"


OrangeDot3083's picture

[moments before the play on the side line]
Mike Vrabel: Jamal, I need the ball.
Jamal Marcus: You need the ball.
Mike Vrabel: I need you to get me the ball.
Jamal Marcus: I'm going to get you the ball.
Mike Vrabel: Are you gonna get me the ball!
Jamal Marcus: I wanna get you the ball!
[Jamal then runs on the field]
Mike Vrabel: I hope he doesn't kill someone.
[Jamal returns to him after causing a fumble on the last play]
Mike Vrabel: You got me the ball.
Jamal Marcus: I got you the ball.
Mike Vrabel: You got me the ball.
Jamal Marcus: I got you the ball.
Mike Vrabel: You got me the ball!
Jamal Marcus: I got you the ball!
[whistle blows]
Mike Vrabel: Go sit down now, Jamal.
Jamal Marcus: Okay.

spqr2008's picture

Awesome reference to one of the two movies where Keanu Reeves plays a former Ohio State quarterback.

BUCKSOMIES's picture

MV:  "What the hell are you doing?  Our young D needs all the extra reps they can get before the Wisky game".
Jm:  "Sorry coach but UFM said to go hard".
MV:  "So your saying its UFM's fault"? 

kbuckeye's picture

Trust me on this (I know someone who is close to the program). This coaching staff is all about motivation, and one technique that Vrabel employs is that he shares "secrets" when a player does something good. He calls them "Coach Confessions" For example my source shared these with me:
Coach Confession: I AM Brutus during Buckeye basketball games.
Coach Confession: Justin Bieber is Tom Brady's illegitimate son. 
Coach Confession: Bill Belichick likes to wear a shower cap in the locker room.
These examples were all for minor contributions to the team. For this sack and fumble I was told he shared a bigger nugget of information with Jamal Marcus:
Coach Confession: Urban Meyer helped to kill Bin Laden. Check the timeline and don't believe everything in the movies. 

45has2's picture

Son, are you ready for a Buckeye Mind Meld?
Yes sir.

"I don't like nice people. I like tough, honest people." -W.W. Hayes

osupolo's picture

Vrabel: I think Brady Hoke sounds like Dan Akroyd in Caddy Shack II.
JM: Yea, I was thinking the same thing

Haybucks's picture

"If we have another child, I want to name him Michael Jamal Marcus Vrabel, or something like that".

If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later. -  Mark Twain


wjpalumbo's picture

Vrabel..."You have learned much young padewan".
JM..."The circle is now complete. When I left you, I was but the learner. Now I am the master".



ScarletNGrey01's picture

Marcus, that sack was so awesome even Chris Carter was able to grab the ball!

The will to win is not as important as the will to prepare to win. -- Woody Hayes

Geraffi's picture

Jamal, I am your father. 

mrtimt12's picture

Vrabel:  Jamal, take your helmet off so you can see this better...
Jamal:  Yes coach?
Vrabel:  Do you call this dance the "tootsie roll" or the "butterfly"?  
Jamal:  Ain't nobody got time for that!
Vrabel:  we called it the butterfly btw...

osufitz's picture

"Holy shit I thought that was a unibrow on your nose, phew!"

buckeye42's picture

I have a huge man crush on you right now!

TripleBuck's picture

Einhorn is Finkle.


Finkle is Einhorn...........Einhorn is a maa.....

Nothing clinses the sole like getting the hell kicked out of you - Woody Hayes

Seattle Linga's picture

Hey Coach Vrab's - Does my breathe smell?

2002osubuck's picture

"God dammit Jamal! I've told you a hundred times, when you get a sack and force a fumble, jump on the damn ball and complete the play. Don't worry you'll get another chance this season to do it right, but good job!"

GOOMBAY's picture

Jamal - nice hit, but do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-lagunga.

Poison nuts's picture

"Cannonball coming!"

"Do not pass me, just slow down - I can move right through you" Superchunk - Precision Auto.

lwitters's picture

"I just farted on your pillow.  You're welcome."

Ohioste's picture

Vrabel : You looked like Brady Hoke when he just saw a fresh box of doughnuts!

BeatTTUN's picture

Vrabel: Keith Byars was the true 1984 Heisman Trophy Winner.
Jamal: So you want me to sack Doug Flutie on the next play Coach?

Go Buckeyes Beat Michigan