Football is back, which means Mark Pantoni must find a new reason to exist online.

When your wife puts your social media presence habits on blast, you know you have to make a change. Been there, Mark. Been there.

Word of the Day: Extol.

 THAT SOUNDS... OPTIMISTIC? I'm not gonna lie, after all these hell months, I'm not sure I know how to handle optimism at this point. But if such a thing still exists these days, this is certainly a source for it.

In other words, this is how the Big Ten is going to avoid situations we've already seen at other schools were entire position groups have to quarantine. It also means it's very unlikely they'll need to cancel or postpone any games.

All of these are very good things and I'm elated that they exist! Wow. What a delightful change of pace.

 30 MORE YEARS. As hilarious as it may be, the only way Michigan was going to avoid a lopsided loss to Ohio State this year is if the game simply didn't happen. 

Things were looking dicey on that front for about a month, but now that The Game is reinstated, Michigan's in trouble. And nobody can speak to that more than one of the most recent Wolverine harvesters.

My only question is, what the hell does he think is going to change in the next 30 years?

 OSU FEELING FRISKY. We have no idea what the hell Ohio State's schedule looks like, but we know football's back!

And Ohio State's schedule page... somehow reflects that perfectly?

To be fair, "Football Is Back" would probably put up more fight than at least 70 percent of the actual Big Ten Conference. Maybe this would be a strength of schedule boost.

 GO VOTE. The NCAA is officially giving all of its athletes the day off from workouts, practices, games or any other team activity on Election Day, because this is America and civic engagement is how we function as a society.

Shoutout to the NCAA for doing the right thing here. I guess every now and again a blind squirrel finds a nut.

 SONG OF THE DAY. "Heart of Glass" by Blondie.

 NOT STICKING TO SPORTS. An Alaskan dentist who defrauded Medicaid and extracted a patient's tooth while riding a hoverboard is sentenced to prison... A man takes a 5-hour bus ride carrying suitcases stuffed with body parts... The controversial company using DNA to sketch the faces of criminals... Gravediggers speak out against horrifying conditions... Chuck E. Cheese wants to destroy 7 billion prize tickets... A man discovers a brain washed ashore on a beach...