Ohio State beating Northwestern means the earth did not fall off its axis, though based on the gripes of some fans who want to fire and/or bench everybody involved in what's now become a 57-5 run for the Buckeyes since 2011 we might as well be plummeting into the sun's gravitational pull.

Context is of vital importance to interpreting important world events: Ohio State is now 61-14-1 against the Big Ten's academic ivory tower after a 24-20 win yesterday. Those rare losses are not exactly random. When the Buckeyes lose to the Wildcats, earth weeps.

Let's look at the history. Ohio State beating Northwestern is a victory for our planet.

• 1910s: Ohio State starts playing Northwestern, winning all games by a combined score of 182-3.
• 1920: Prohibition begins in the United States
• Prohibition: Ohio State goes 2-4 against Northwestern due to its proximity to America's bootlegging capitol
• 1933: Prohibition ends. Ohio State goes on a multi-year bender of destroying Northwestern
• 1941: Ohio State loses at home to Northwestern. Less than two months later Japan bombs Pearl Harbor.
• 1945: WWII ends. Weeks later Ohio State beats Northwestern again.
• 1958: The world goes into global recession. Northwestern beats Ohio State for the only time 11 years
• 1963: Northwestern beats Ohio State on Senior Day. The following week John F. Kennedy is assassinated.
• 1971: Northwestern wins in Ohio Stadium for the last time. Ohio native Charles Manson goes to jail forever.
• 1972- 2003: Ohio State wins 24 straight against the Wildcats with Manson behind bars.
• 2004: Helter Skelter, the biopic about Charles Manson is released. Ohio State loses to Northwestern, which directly results in the death of a Northwestern student.
• 2005-present: Ohio State continues its 29-1 run against the Wildcats with a close win that counts the same as all of the previous wins.

When your beloved team wins, be happy. When your beloved team beats Northwestern, be relieved. Go Bucks.