I totally get how you feel. Imagine the oh so lofty expectations of being an average runner on a D3 cross country program. That was my life, yet by November my freshman year I already had 1 emergency room visit and another separate visit to do a stress test and blood test. Turns out the stress and anxiety of balancing a full course load, a part time job, and the cross country season took aim at my heart -- something I never had a problem with in high school. Eventually I was cleared, but I went through the same song and dance again during my senior season.
My point being, I can only imagine what DJ has gone through at that high level of competition and expectation. And that it doesn't matter if you're a D1 star or a D3 relative nobody... we're all humans and all deal with these things in our own way.