2. Never put yourself in the position that the ref decides the game. Your fault; not the ref.
100% agree with you. I coach middle school and I will go to my grave saying this no matter what level I end up coaching.
I also won't tolerate a player giving any sort of verbal or non-verbal response to a call toward a referee. They can share their complaints with me and if I deem it necessary, I will discuss with the official. I was taught that you play the game and if the refs mess up, that's part of the game... and if my coach thought the missed call was egregious, he would let the officials know. End of story.
We have some officials at the middle school level that aren't great and that causes frustration at times, but the thing that makes it a thousand times worse is when mom or dad sits in the stands and argues every call against their little princess, because all of a sudden little princess thinks she can do no wrong and her absolute shock and dismay at any call against her is completely justified. But, as I have to tell them over and over, at the end of the day, if the ref says you fouled or traveled, guess what? You fouled or traveled. Either get over it and continue playing hard or hurt your team by sulking and complaining and then you'll get to spend some quality time with me on the bench. Your choice.