I always thought the whole point of that quote wasn't that kickers don't need water right after practice starts, but that they definitely can't afford to skip stretching.

It's funny how someone slowed down and then sped up the timing on this clip to give a false perception of deliberateness.

No. Just no. The facepalm is strong with you.

He just played football as a side gig from his day job as the godfather of soul /s

That story about the cookie seemed almost too good to be true. His mom is literally Mrs. Fields and he serves time for burgling cookies?! We're going to have to re-file all those Cookie Crisp commercials as non-fiction.

Hi Jim!

Rosy-Cheeked Assassin 2.0

I never thought of driving a Kia as very yippie kai yay

"Why did you go for six?" "Because I couldn't go for seven."

All your base are belong to us

we only feast upon the finest of souls

Not sure we can say that after last weekend

That was actually my first thought: "We motorboated the big ten? Well, kind of."

His name has been changed to Harb-womp-wom-wom [sad trombone]

And teams are also nearly always playing from behind against us.

"If I hear anybody talk about anything other than the focus on beating Wisconsin, it's going to be a bad day for everyone." - Urban Meyer

"Everyone who played" ... except for all of michigan

I spent ten years defending my country, but half the time I see our flag any more it feels like somebody's just using it to try to sell me something.

We are Iowa now. Only we beat OSU less often.

So Harbaugh's getting COY?

Just showering down

This year I didn't see a red banner up in their stands to punctuate the win. Has that been shut down?

I love hearing the O-H-I-O going around our rival's stadium again!

Can you spell what The Rock is cookeeng?

Maybe they're going to quintuple-team him

I'm glad to have some level-headed TTUN fans over here.  I feel a kinship with everybody on either side of the Rivalry, because whenever I discuss it with friends and coworkers from the other side, it really feels like we're part of something special that you just don't get when you talk with fans of any other team. (Not being the 1990s any more helps too)