Buckaroo Banzai's picture

Buckaroo Banzai 12th Warrior

Columbus, OH (via Columbus, OH)

MEMBER SINCE   December 08, 2016

OSU grad x 2. Retired shyster.


  • SPORTS MOMENT: All OSU football victories; 85 Yards Through the Heart of the South.
  • COLLEGE FOOTBALL PLAYER: Archie Griffin. Is there any other?
  • NHL TEAM: Hockey is a Canadian plot to conquer the world.
  • NBA TEAM: CAVs Rock.
  • MLB TEAM: The Birds on Bats
  • SOCCER TEAM: None. It is hockey played on grass.

Recent Activity

Comment 21 Feb 2019

I listened to that game on the radio while driving to Erie, PA to meet the wife. I was midway through the Cuyahoga Valley National Recreation Area (now the Cuyahoga Valley National Park) with around 8 or 9 minutes to play in the first quarter. Throwing common sense and good judgment out the window, I throttled up and wantonly ignored the cursed double nickel national speed limit. I made it to our hotel in Erie in time to watch a decent portion of the second half. I believed they could come back and I was willing to pay a speeding ticket to get to a television to see it.

Comment 18 Feb 2019

I love a good ode. But I am also a proponent of the limerick form. I mean, any poetic form based on 69 has to be good right? Three feet of three syllables (9) and two feet of three syllables (6)? So let's take a stab with that.

There was a serial downvoter,

a real douchebaggery promoter.

His actions pernicious,

his demeanor vicious, 

his presence leaves a fetid odor.

Sorry. That is my first limerick attempt in thirty years that was not about somebody from Nantucket.

Comment 16 Feb 2019

The interplay between FOIA and FERPA is not always clear cut. In Illinois (a different circuit than Georgia) a federal trial court ruled in 2011 that FERPA does not prohibit release of student and parent information because it merely provides federal legal conditions by which a university may receive federal funding, and thus does not specifically prohibit the release of the information. That district court opinion was later vacated by the 7th Circuit Court of Appeals, which correctly pointed out that state law exceptions to the release of the information would be controlling in that case. It is important to note that the circuit court did not reverse or remand the case, it vacated the lower court opinion. This was because that opinion was rendered in the absence of subject matter jurisdiction and was thus void ab initio.

Comment 12 Feb 2019

Matt Jones @KySportsRadio

This is the most bizarre announcer call in College Basketball history

8:12 PM - Feb 10, 2019

274 people are talking about this

Must respectfully disagree. It is my fervent belief that the greatest WTF moment in basketball sportscasting history was the time the late, great, redoubtable Jimmy Crum exclaimed during a game "That's better than a peanut butter and jelly sandwich at high noon." A very close second would be Dick Vitale saying Lawrence Funderburke was a "cheap shot motherfucker" on an open mike during a game when he thought the game feed had been killed for commercial. (I am not the only one to remember Vitale doing this - see at the bottom).

Comment 12 Feb 2019

The new law passed as quietly as possible, and was easy to miss. (It was perhaps designed to be missed.) It was tacked on as an amendment to an entirely unrelated measure, then overwhelmingly passed by lawmakers after midnight on the next-to-last day of the legislative session.

Georgia Constitution, Article III., Section V., Paragraph III.:

One subject matter expressed. No bill shall pass which refers to more than one subject matter or contains matter different from what is expressed in the title thereof.

State legislatures engage in this especially popular form of "logrolling" all the time. Sometimes they get away with it, sometimes not. If a media behemoth is sufficiently pissed about it, we may see a court challenge under the single subject clause of the Georgia constitution. I would expect such a suit to be a two pronged attack on "Kirby's Law" inasmuch as it violates the clear public policy behind Georgia's public records law, in addition to violating the single subject clause.

Problem is, the case would be heard in Georgia's state court system. So, who knows what the result would be were it to happen.

Comment 12 Feb 2019

PFF "explains" how they grade QBs. See, How we at Pro Football Focus grade quarterbacks at the NFL and FBS level. A telling line from that rather self-serving dissertation appears under the heading "Extra Nuance." There they state: "The black-and-white world of what should have been is only part of the divergence of the PFF grades from conventional statistics." I think I will call this the "Shoulda, woulda, coulda factor." Or maybe, the "Forget what the statistics are, it is what they should have been factor."

And I must admit to a bit of astonishment at them characterizing the category of all things that "should have been" as a "black-and-white world."

Were that the case, I have should have been better looking. Taller. Wealthier. Powerful. Famous. Smarter. I mean, it's black and white.

Comment 07 Feb 2019

Ryan Day and Ohio State's overhauled coaching staff had just 17 scholarships available after graduation, early deflections and transfers, . . .

Deflection, n, 1: a turning aside or off course : deviation; 2 : the departure of an indicator or pointer from the zero reading on the scale of an instrument; 3: In engineering, the degree to which a structural element is displaced under a load.

Defection, n, conscious abandonment of allegiance or duty (as to a person, cause, or doctrine) : desertion.
I sincerely hope I will be successful deflecting all the criticism I will receive for being a grammar nazi. I would hate to have to contemplate defecting to some fetid festering feculent site, like MGoBlow, because of it.
Comment 30 Jan 2019

I am not saying the previous LB coach was the best choice for the job or that he is getting an unfair shake here, but it is a stretch to attribute Justin Hilliard's lack of playing time to bad coaching or an inability to develop players when Justin Hilliard suffered a torn meniscus and biceps tears in each arm over a three plus year period. The latter two injuries are particularly difficult to recover from, inasmuch as there will be some fairly significant muscle atrophy that has to be overcome after the rupture has mended. Accordingly, his difficulties during his tenure at THE are more directly related to sheer misfortune. 

Comment 29 Jan 2019

BTN's production, Tiebreaker, contains footage of Bo speaking to the media after the vote was announced. In that footage he states "I am bitterly resentful of the way this thing was handled." There is a trailer for the program on YouTube that also contains this footage. 


Comment 23 Jan 2019

I'd be interested in seeing which grandpa they have fumbling around with the remote in that booth . . .

Why you snarky li'l whippersnapper, you. I have half a mind to . . . I have half a mind . . .  Yeah, that's it.

Comment 23 Jan 2019

Loved Kelvin. Played with Herb Williams and shared the backcourt with Carter Scott. 

I remember watching when OSU played Virginia, who had Ralph Sampson. In slack-jawed awe I sat mesmerized as 7'4" Sampson was setting up for a midrange baseline shot when 6'2" Carter Scott came out of nowhere and skyed to swat that shot away. 

In the 1980 NCAA tourney OSU lost in the third round to Larry Brown coached UCLA, who would go on to advance to the final before succumbing to Louisville. Of course all those UCLA tourney wins were later vacated by the NCAA due to nine serious rules violations. In that game against the tainted Bruins, Kelvin scored 29 points, shooting .565 from the field. Had the 3 point shot been instituted when Kelvin was in school, his totals would have significantly higher, which is also true for the Bellaire Bomber, Allan Hornyak.

Comment 22 Jan 2019

McLaurin, who was listed at 6-foot-1 and 204 pounds last season, measured in at 6-0 and 205 pounds in Mobile, Alabama, . . .

A single Marotti pound is so incredibly densely packed with muscle fiber, it is sufficient to pull a man one inch closer to the ground.

Comment 22 Jan 2019

Of some note is that Hopson played at OSU with Keith Wesson, father of Kaleb and Andre. He was a major threat from anywhere on the floor and could score on a dribble-drive, a pull-up jumper in traffic or a stop and pop three. He had terrific body control and could seemingly score at will against heavy contact. 32 years after the fact, Hopson remains the all-time OSU men's basketball career scoring leader. I am sorry to say that available video highlights of his days at OSU are scarce, for those of you who did not get to see him play.

Comment 21 Jan 2019

Never given any thought to what Timothy Leary's bunghole must have looked like, but that right there, well that is probably it. 

Comment 21 Jan 2019

Dennis Hopson from his senior season (1986-1987), against the second toughest SOS he faced in his 4 years at OSU. He averaged 35 minutes played over 33 games, shooting 55% from 2 point range, 41.9% from 3 point range (in the first year of the three point shot in college ball), and 81.4% from the free throw line. That season he averaged 8.2 rebounds, 3.6 assists, 2.2 steals, .6 blocks, 2.8 turnovers, 2.3 personal fouls and 29 points per game. 


I damn near got into a bar fight in Rochester, New York to get a sports bar to switch just one of 12 TVs over to the NCAA OSU v Kentucky game, inasmuch as Syracuse, a mere hour and a half east, was playing at the same time. Reason prevailed after some money changed hands, and I got the shittiest TV in the shittiest corner of the bar for the OSU game. Before that game ended, I had 5 or 6 Rochester Orange fans watching it with me, listening to them ask each other in shock and awe, "Who the fuck is that guy?" time and time again as Hopson torched the Wildcats for 32 points, shooting 64.7% from 2 point range and 50% from behind the arc. When that game ended, OSU was a perfect 5-0 all-time versus Kentucky in the NCAA Tournament. Alas, 24 years later Kentucky would finally win its first NCAA Tournament game against the Bucks in 2011.

Comment 21 Jan 2019

Women, no matter how much 2018 America wants to make it so, do not play football . . .

You, my friend, have apparently missed this:


Comment 18 Jan 2019

Preface: I searched and did not find any forum topic on this. 

Posted January 8, 2019 in the Ohio State Football forum - BAMA/CLEMSON THE LOWEST RATED TITLE GAME SINCE 2012:  


Comment 09 Jan 2019

I love made up values.

In my ESPNRS (Ersatz Sports Program Numeric Rating System), TOSU is number one and their value is eleventy billion.

ESPNRS! Because, if you're going to have have fake ratings and valuations, you should also have imaginary numbers. ESPNRS. The worldwide leader in bullshit. ESPNRS. Rating college athletic programs since 2:52 PM today.