A Look at Ohio State's 2017-18 Performance Reviews for Coaches and Other Football Staffers

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bucknut1994's picture

Zach Smith - Work on

6. Not being a sack of shit

#94Ways

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Cooper's picture

I couldn’t stop laughing at the 5 rating for “adheres to university’s core values.”

This is definitely where I parked my car.

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Dstacify's picture

Zach Smith - Work on

7. Stop having sex with married women at work.

11 Strong.

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cledaybuck's picture

Less specific.  More like: Stop having sex at work.

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RK84's picture

Paging SP

It doesn't matter whether you're the lion or a gazelle-when the sun comes up, you'd better be running.

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cledaybuck's picture

Was that wrong? Should I have not done that? I tell you I gotta plead ingnorance on this thing because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing was frouned upon, you know, cause I've worked in a lot of offices and I tell you peope do that all the time.

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RK84's picture

No youre good, I was making fun of someone. It would be something we all would think he would do.

It doesn't matter whether you're the lion or a gazelle-when the sun comes up, you'd better be running.

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cledaybuck's picture

Thanks.  I didn't want to have to explain my own joke. 

Oh, Costanza!

Coooostanza (by Mennen).

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CTownBucknut's picture

Solid Seinfeld reference!  I don't think a day goes by when I don't reference Seinfeld at least once.  Sad, but true.  

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IGotAWoody's picture

8. Stop having sex toys delivered to work. Even if you DO work at a place called 'The Woody'.

“The best executive is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it.” – Theodore Roosevelt

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Dstacify's picture

9. Stop taking pics of your unit on trips to the White House and sending them out to people through the cloud where they can be easily obtained.

11 Strong.

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JohnnyKozmo's picture

Coach stud...leave the exclamation points out.  You aren’t yelling at Urban are you that you want to improve your letter writing?

You're too stupid to have a good time. -Dalton

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IBLEEDSCARLETANDGRAY's picture

My first thought was that Seinfeld episode where Elaine dumped her BF over using too many exclamation points.

"I find your lack of kalua disturbing" - Darth Lebowski

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Dstacify's picture

Coach Stud says he needs to improve his letter writing to parents....as I'm having trouble reading his handwriting lol. I see what you did there.

11 Strong.

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stantmann's picture

"When you're part of a team, you stand up for your teammates. Your loyalty is to them. You protect them through good and bad, because they'd do the same for you." Yogi Berra

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MassiveAttack's picture

Top of the muffin TOO YOU!

The Ohio State University - "Haters love us!" 
Baskin Robbins? Nah, Haskins Dobbins - KannonMic

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CTownBucknut's picture

You guys are making my day.  Every morning, I say "top of the muffin to you" to my daughter when she wakes up

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SaltyD0gg's picture

Well, this is awkward timing.

Pain of Discipline

Pain of Regret

Take Your Pick

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SkoBux's picture

While it's on my mind, in my profession we have bi-weekly retrospectives that allow our team to come together and discuss what's working, what's not working, and what each of us should focus on during the next two weeks on a personal level. This conversation revolves around actionable (key word) team performance and does a good job at keeping the good, bad, happy, and sad transparent for personal accountability's sake. We discuss neither any of the work we completed nor outcomes of our work, rather we focus solely on team dynamics. Thus, we don't do yearly reviews anymore. 

Not saying OSU doesn't have some semblance of this already, just wanted to throw it out there. Carry on, 11W. 

At last, Kerry had cracked open his first Red Bull with an impatient delight. And the rest, as they say, was history.

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southernstatesbuckeye's picture

Now, is biweekly two times a week or every other week?

I like cookies.

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Catfish Biff's picture

Wow, these guys just pencil whipped these things, some more than others, especially Bill Davis. I wish I could get away with such platitudes.

Their goals and how they're measuring themselves, leads me to believe they don't know how they're being measured at a detailed level.

Go out there and give 110%!

..Til' we wobble in our shoes!

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Cooper's picture

I think half of the coaches expressing they need to do better with paperwork is a decent indicator that they believe these reviews are trivial matters.

This is definitely where I parked my car.

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CTownBucknut's picture

I think what most of them did was find what they deemed to be the least important parts of their job, and used them as areas they need the most work.  Probably figuring they didn't want to come off too cocky, so they would give themselves a lower score in areas that they deemed less critical.  I also noticed some used the old interview trick when asked to name a negative, use it as a positive.  "I need to work on finding more time for family, but I'm just too busy."  Translation, I work so hard I barely see my family.  

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mb5599's picture

in my experience, most evaluations are a total waste of time.  most are pencil whipped and people are just looking to complete and check the block.  its painful to read because you know that its pencil whipped.  

Big B

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ibuck's picture

Pencil whip = rubber stamp

Doing paperwork without real meaning.

(To some, I'm Captain Obvious. To others: "Ohh. I'd never heard that expression before.")

Our honor defend, so we'll fight to the end !

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Lighteyes's picture

I gave you an upvote because I've never heard the phrase "pencil whip" before and assumed it meant just doing it super super quick - like, I just whipped the pencil at the paper and whatever mark it made in that 0.25 seconds it was sliding across the paper was was all I bothered to write.

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Hovenaut's picture

Next year's assessments should be very interesting.

Hindsight is, and in, 2020

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BucksHave7's picture

I know hindsight is 20/20, but interesting how Bill Davis and Zach Smith's performance reviews have no correlation to reality.

BucksHave7

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Dstacify's picture

How the hell is Mickey Marotti not on here? Is he secretly the boss and all these guys including Urban report to him lol?

11 Strong.

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Buckabroad's picture

Maybe it is so clear should have the highest rating they don't even bother. I could understand that actually.

"The minute we stop expecting greatness, we become Wisconsin."

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ibuck's picture

Mickey Marotti is Asst Athletic Director for Football Sports Performance. It seems he reports to VP/AD Gene Smith.

Our honor defend, so we'll fight to the end !

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Dstacify's picture

Wasn't Urban ultimately the one who brought him to OSU though (I think they were together at UF as well)? I'm surprised he doesn't report to Urban.

11 Strong.

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CowCat's picture

I believe Marotti does report to Gene Smith, but so does Urban. If we can see Urban's review we should see Marotti's. But we know the outcome anyway:

1) Keep yelling
2) Continue to be a badass
3) Bring the juice

"We get paid to score touchdowns, not kick field goals"
-- Urban Meyer

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IGotAWoody's picture

Director of sports performance Mickey Marotti's performance review was also requested, but was not yet made available by Ohio State on Wednesday.

“The best executive is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it.” – Theodore Roosevelt

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cledaybuck's picture

Self evaluations are so stupid!

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teddyballgame's picture

I have evaluated my thoughts and i agree with your evaluation on self evaluations.

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ronaprhys's picture

Was one of Davis' goals to keep having his LBs be out of place?  If so, he seems to be nailing that at critical times.

'97 - Molecular Genetics

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youra6's picture

Alford and Davis both scored themselves a 4. Its pretty clear to me Davis's score was out of 10.

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Noahkat's picture

I dont care where u work, performance reviews are meaningless horse shit.

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NorCal Buckeye's picture

Said the guy who got "performance needs improvement"

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Buck68's picture

Kudos to the 11W staff for obtaining and publishing these staff performance reports.

Boy do these formats and words and 'process' bring back memories!   Years of purpose discussions, ongoing 'input' gathering and correlating masses of 'data' into descriptive, relevant 'facts', goal setting and achieving, strengths & weaknesses, evaluating and reviewing and endorsing performance and potential.... within a huge and complex system some graciously termed 'up or out'.

Same ol' debates, issues, mistakes, promoting, and ... 'faint praising'.  Too bad 'they' didn't solve all these terrible whatevers by just banning 'politics'... or making it part of the Privacy Act that Nobody but some special Somebody can ignore.

IOW... i could write a book about this as a case study in Education, Problem-Solving, or Values.  OH... perhaps i have?   LoL

Yet... still...

S2 D2.

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OSUtopia's picture

Couldn't disagree more. This public display of performance reviews is disgraceful and a major invasion of individual privacy. How many of you posters and readers would want your annual performance reviews to be made public? I'll bet not many.

11 Warriors owes the coaches a public apology.

OSUtopia

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ronaprhys's picture

I think you're missing the point that they're public employees and, as incredibly highly-paid public employees, they're subject to this level of scrutiny.  If they didn't want that to happen, work for a private university, make less money, etc.  

'97 - Molecular Genetics

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analyticalguy's picture

The knowledge that the reviews can (and therefore will) be made public eliminates the possibility of real candor (from both boss and employee) which might allow the exercise to be useful. That's not on 11W, but on the university (or the state's open records law, whichever is responsible for these records being deemed "public")

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Spider1944's picture

Analytical guy:

Nailed it.

Any one who is not so sure about that ask yourself this question: How would you post on 11w if your name and picture was in your 11w Bio Page. I think we would see a huge change in the responses on this Site. And it certainly wouldn’t be as forthright and, IMO, entertaining. 

"There are 3 things that can happen and 2 of them are bad" - the Curse of Woody Hayes

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analyticalguy's picture

I can answer that. I'd post exactly the same, but only because my real name and real picture are on my bio page.

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Buck68's picture

'SuTopia -

the "disgraceful" we doo daily...

like wee do doo Process...

so "I'll bet"... even more.

===> an "apology" can bee a joke at best

as our moral performance is a bust.

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Buck68's picture

i am 'so outraged' at 11W publishing public info from an authoritative source... be cause I DON'T LIKE IT!  So 11W is evil!  ;-{)}

Where is the DV Corpse when people scarred for life need them?   LoL

WE [the good, fair, caring people who've been horribly wronged] must have all others... SERVE MY WANTS... and no others!

So - obviously - many people [all lesser than ME] "owe me a public apology"?

====

DEPARTMENT OF VIOLATIONS OF PRIVACY ACT 

Legions daily since its 'inception' in 1974.  

I was 'invited' 'to be' in the 1st military cadre to 'swear' and affirm by my signature on a Personnel Office form and entered into my permanent records, that i would obey 'lawful orders'...

be cause a certain 4 star general... had disobeyed his, and dispatched air raids on his authority.  There was much sincere, caring, and fair 'talk of' what discipllnary action the General should face.  At his retirement, the Senate almost even took away a couple of his stars!  They did...honest... before they didn't.

Why all this 'anecdotal history'?  Compares favorably with how government, institutions, and activists have applied The Privacy Act.  Google for your fav 'apologies'... pun & continuing example 'actually' intentional.

Are we are a Nation of Laws we do not follow, in an Adversarial System run by its beneficiaries?   Shhhhhh?!   ;-{)}

/s

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buckeyepastor's picture

Goals that are vague and have no benchmarks that can be objectively measured are sort of lip service.  They seem to treat this as a formality, mostly.  Alford was one of the few to offer specific critique.  

"Woody would have wanted it that way" 

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Trabbic's picture

Exactly.  "Improve academic performance." isn't a goal.  These are better goals: "Improve academic performance of my student athletes from an average GPA of 2.49 to 2.69."  Or "Improve academic performance by ensuring no unexcused absences from class and tutoring sessions." 

It is interesting to see that OSU would allow these types of reviews...

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Buck68's picture

sounds like one of my all time fav cliches:  "always getting better with more reps & experience".  LoL   /s

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Knarcisi's picture

Yeah, these reviews are juvenile.  Ans I sure hope there is a non-public and more critical review.  Looking at you, Bill Davis.

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Buck68's picture

"They" are we.

This is a systemic symptomatic consequence of Diversity.

Probative that you used "one of the few", for the remnant does 'have a history' and 'track record'.  And so 'lip-service'.

But "specifc critique" has no definition in Diversity... except by ME, be cause I AM 'so tolerant'... and you are... whatever i feel.

Invitations to all Distinguished Visitors for 'specific critique'....?   :LoL

/s

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ARMYBUCK's picture

Taver has excellent penmanship!

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Buck68's picture

Army - remember the followers' term "faint praise"?

"excellent penmanship" for a leader, expert, combat ready military person was one that usually brought smiles 'n snickers....

if you 'really care',  'research' a Vietnam era classic exchange named "What the Captain means is".

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McGrind's picture

ZS...Creativity top marks...well yea. 

Justice delayed is justice denied....#FTP

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Buck68's picture

There's iron... and there's irony.  Useful example, McGrind. 

;-{)}  

a classic in relativist 'logic genre', illustrating that men can most easily and 'best' pervert anything with 'some' good in it.

...and a darned practical 'reason' why 'some' sources of authority and accountability MUST BE BANNED.  Except, of course, the ones that 'don't work'....   /s

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bennyhana311's picture

...and Zach Smith gets a "1" in self awareness. 

Football is, after all, a wonderful way to get rid of your aggressions without going to jail for it. - Woody Hayes

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Buck68's picture

once upon a time, a few brave foolish junior officers were searching for a benign term to describe the lowest level of 'leadership' on their 'new' 'leadership performance assessment' form.

'they' [speaking for a friend] 'came up with'...

...the 'algorithm'...  er, 'acronym'...   ;-{)}

WIGO.

It stands for "What is Going On"?

It is somewhat ironic that many WIGO's ... 'self-identify'.   There... 'could potentially be' 'some' 'self-identifiers' on this very board?!  LoL.  Except, of course, you and me...whenever u agree with ME....

/s

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BuckeyeJAK's picture

Davis a 4 out of 5 for on field production, what game was he watching ?

Mark May is a mental midget

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buckzilla1's picture

Field production in Davis' mind = Head up coaches ass so far he can carve his initials on tomorrows turd. Now that equals a 4.

You never lose to those pricks. Ever. Ever. Urban Frank Meyer

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Buck68's picture

what does it matter what/which 'show' we're watching... when we are seeing what we want to see?

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Buck68's picture

BuckeyeJAX - easy question for all of us!

"what game was he watching"?

Ans1: "the one he wanted to see".

Ans2: "the wrong one every time, instance, scintilla where i 'disagree'.

/s 

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avail31678's picture

No offense, because I love Schiano, but his goals are about as vague as can be.  Total lip-service, "catch phrase"  responses.

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Buckeyebull64's picture

Well, having done this for so long at Rutgers and what not, he realizes any media outlet can ask for and look at these, so I don’t blame him. Guy as successful as him likely sets damn good goals, he’s just not gonna tell all of us. 

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@osu.fbu's picture

As a fan I give myself a 4 out of 5.

Need to work on equating the beer / liquor ratio on game days.  

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Buck68's picture

OSU.FBU   lol....

a "fanatic" is always so excited to keep giving everything to himself...

and so always needs 'more' to 'get' the same 'so excited'...

and NEVER 'gets' 'enough'...

===just like the definitions of any addicted addict.

===but

of course it's a 'disease'...

so it 'can't be' my fault...

and so you must pay for whatever i feel i need,

for i 'have' Free Diversity PTSD... for life.

/s

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Buck68's picture

as a fan, i give my self... license and wavers [sp intended].

as a fan, i give you... a ticket and a verdict....    ;-{)}

/s

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Ghbuck23's picture

12-2 with 2 huge blowouts = meeting expectations. Ayt cool. 

After coming off 31-0 .

Win Baby , Win

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BuckeyeInOrlando's picture

The Oklahoma game was tied at halftime, and the Buckeyes were down 4 with 11 minutes left in the game.

Bad loss? Yes.

Huge Blowout? No.

If 12-2 with a B1G Championship and a New Years 6 Bowl Championship over USC meets expectations, that just means that Gene Smith has a lot more realistic expectations than you do.

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Ghbuck23's picture

Lol  16 points aided by 2 turnovers on a Big 12 defense almost everyone put 50 points on ? Is not a blow out .

Win Baby , Win

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BuckeyeInOrlando's picture

Almost everyone scored 50 points on? Did you just randomly make that up?

Oklahoma gave up 50 twice... both in shootouts. A win over Oklahoma State and a loss to Georgia in the playoff.

On the flip side...Oklahoma gave up 20 points or less six times, including twice against TCU and once against Ohio State.

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Buck68's picture

So... 'my hindsight is better than yours'...?  LoL

while ignoring the preparation, plan, or contest?  Nothing gnu there....

seems like that's a pre-dict about a post-dict... while ignoring ...the 'dict' [so to speak]  ;-{)}

/s

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Zimmy07's picture

6 figure income and you need to improve on finishing assignments.  Clown show.

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HSGABuck's picture

I thought 11 Warriors was a fan of OSU football?  Is Paul Feinbaum on staff now?  Put this shit to bed already.  Who the fuck cares about this and what’s the real point?

In Antoine Winfield I trust

 

Craig Zak

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Yobuck's picture

I must say the penmanship of the entire staff is 5/5!! 

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Buck68's picture

i'm a totally honest really fan of the entire 11W staff's penmanship!

i "must say" this... cuz Yobuck beat me to it...  ;-{)}

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teddyballgame's picture

Ryan Day has the best hand writing

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HSGABuck's picture

Considering the last 6-8 weeks, Orlando, perhaps t could be omitted or at least shelved until Feb.  

In Antoine Winfield I trust

 

Craig Zak

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BuckeyeInOrlando's picture

I agree, but they probably are reporting on them as soon as they became available... 

It's not good journalism to sit on something for months where other outlets would have access to the same information.

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NHBuckeye's picture

I'm kinda surprised this stuff is made public at all.   

Fields of Dreams

 

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ShowThemOhiosHere's picture

Zach Smith, 5 out of 5 on adhering to university's core values.

Class of 2010.

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old grizzled veteran's picture

Really, folks, this is getting ridiculous...Buckeye Nation does NOT need to see all this information.  It's like looking at your neighbors thru their windows at night.   We do not need to know all the details about compensation or performance of each and everyone of these coaches.  It is way too much BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING OVER YOUR EVERY MOVE, EVERYTHING YOU SAY/DIDN'T SAY, DID OR DIDN'T DO..  In my opinion this can only lead to a more restrictive style of coaching, knowing may become public domain.  How do private companies handle this ?  They don't put out every last detail of their staff's performance reviews or compensation, and suffocate their leadership in the process.  

old griz veteran

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Kernfan's picture

Agreed.  As a fed gov employee, our salaries are public knowledge with some security related exceptions, but personnel information is one of 9 items not released under FOIA. "Exemption 2: Information related solely to the internal personnel rules and practices of an agency."  The public doesn't need to know what your boss thinks of you.  I can't see how this helps someone manage employees.

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OSUtopia's picture

Grizzled vet.... well said.

OSUtopia

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rosycheeks's picture

This coaching staff really likes to use upper case.

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DaiTheFlu's picture

Yeah I'm gonna have to call BS on the Bill Davis and Zach Smith reviews. 4 of 5 my ass.

We can't stop here; this is bat country...

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BucksHave7's picture

Interesting that anything negative isnt specifically noted.  Its all so vague. 

I can see why schools get sued so quickly for wrongful termination with these BS performance rating write-ups.   

Are these seriously the real perf reviews or tiny little part of it?

BucksHave7

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ClarkGrswld4's picture

maybe i'm the weirdo for noticing but the fact that zach smith used squares around the numbers instead of circles like everyone else(aka normal people) tells you all you need to know that he is cut from a different cloth

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CTownBucknut's picture

Am I the only one that went straight to Bill Davis and Zach Smith to see their reviews first?

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southernstatesbuckeye's picture

Is there a performance review available for Drake?

I like cookies.

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analyticalguy's picture

I imagine that the Board (or a committee of the Board) would do a review, and under the the same rules by which the coaches' reviews are made available, his should be as well.

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