The Situational: Too Many Secrets

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BuddhaBuck's picture

Bravo, Ramzy, Bra-fucking-vo.

Don't text while driving.

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GeneralBuckeyeWayne's picture

hold up hold up hold up !!!!

I LOVE listening to Paul Keels call the Buckeyes.

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tbdbitlbuck's picture

Keels exerts more fervor doing a commercial for Montgomery Ribs than calling a Buckeye game.

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johnblairgobucks's picture

He makes a 10 yard gain sound like a 2 yard Dave, and a 2 yard Dave sound like an Earle Cambell jersey ripper.... I get confused trying to invision what is actually going on.

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AJBor41's picture

I'll gladly take the downvotes for agreeing. Love Paul Keels.

I'll take that velvety monotone speed talker calling the Buckeye games any day. And, when I was tuned in to pregame stuff this past week, it was Lachey who couldn't get any names right and had trouble getting his words out clearly.

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Buckeyeneer's picture

Wow. Sneakers reference.

"Because the rules won't let you go for three." - Woody Hayes

THE Ohio State University

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CALPOPPY's picture

My voice is my passport.

Memento mori

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Buckeyeneer's picture

Be a beacon.

"Because the rules won't let you go for three." - Woody Hayes

THE Ohio State University

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BeatTTUN's picture

Who else is going to change Purdue, Ramzy? Greenpeace?

I saw Ryan Day hang 62 on Michigan...His hair was perfect.

Go Buckeyes Beat Michigan

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sawesome's picture

You must have missed the news bulletin that Purdue's athletic department was declaring bankruptcy while Greenpeace was recording large anonymous donations.

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Brutus's picture

Motherf-ers mess with me, I'll split your head.

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jamesrbrown322's picture

Ramzy, I love that Autumn's Here video. It is fantastic to see such a conglomeration of older, vintage footage intermingled with more modern, and then current moments, players, and coaches.

Jim Delany has successfully leveraged one of the most prestigious academic consortiums in the world into a patchwork athletic conference slash media giant that projectile vomits billions of dollars all over its stakeholders annually.

That is the most straightforward and accurate assessment of the current status of B1G athletics, and in particular football. Bravo sir, well done!

"Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed, is more important than any other one thing." - Abraham Lincoln

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andyb's picture

I couldn't agree more about Paul Keels.....I hate his voice and the way he seems to raise it over absolutely nothing.

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d5k's picture

But he's OUR velvety repetitive play-by-play guy...  

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ChazBuckeye's picture

Loved it all...as usual. Aside from calling El Guapo the best RB of the century.  You forgot about this guy...pretty sure he was better. He has the hardware to prove it, two times over. 

It is time!!!!!

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CALPOPPY's picture

Yeah, but I think that fine fella is from the last century...maybe even the last millennium.

Memento mori

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faux_maestro's picture

Umm.....

They're all chickens. The rooster has sex with all of them.

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MassiveAttack's picture

No DV, buy you even quoted it yourself... "of the century".  Last I checked, Archie was from a different century; one where none of the current players were born. Conceivably one where the current players' parents were not even born.

The Ohio State University - "Haters love us!" 
Baskin Robbins? Nah, Haskins Dobbins - KannonMic

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Gametime's picture

Last century = 1900 to 2000

This century = 2000 to 2100

Between goals and achievement is discipline and consistency. That fire you have inside to do whatever you love is placed there by God. Now go claim it. ~ Denzel Washington

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BuckeyeLawyer's picture

Does this mean that 2000 is actually a part of two centuries?

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Gametime's picture

The real irony is that there is no 0 CE or 0 AD so I'm not quite sure how it works...lol

Between goals and achievement is discipline and consistency. That fire you have inside to do whatever you love is placed there by God. Now go claim it. ~ Denzel Washington

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GoBucksToledo's picture

I think Ramzy was referring to the 2000s.

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FUqUespin's picture

Archie was the greatest of All Time - and that was Last Century ...

El Guapo was This Century ...

http://espn.go.com/video/clip?id=espn:9850248

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johnblairgobucks's picture

If I had to pick one OSU RB from this century, for one game, I'd be hard pressed not to pick Clarett.  Not going to go wrong with Hyde, just a matter of opinion.

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Montana silver bullet's picture

If you don't like his peaches, don't shake Ramszy's tree

Montana Silver Bullet

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IGotAWoody's picture

 

“The best executive is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it.” – Theodore Roosevelt

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brband64's picture

Awesome tonic to help move on from last Saturday, Ramzy - as usual, wonderful read across the board.  Love the Sneakers lead-in, drink recipe, overall perspective...and yes, LOL at the Keels "transcription."  I'm very fortunate in that I'm able to attend most of the games and don't have to listen; while I generally like Keels' call of the game, you touched on something that bugs the crap out of me: I can forgive the occasional botched name, but I shout at the radio for how often the yardage is changed between plays, usually at least once and sometimes twice.  This is maddening when the listener thinks the defense has brought the opposing ball carrier down for a two yard gain, but by the next snap, mysteriously the previous play gained four yards.  I don't know if they (97.1) hired trained chimps to do the spotting or if the call is not being relayed to the booth in a timely manner, but the end result is the net yardage changes on a high percentage of plays, extremely frustrating to the listener (rant over).

"It feels great ... it feels like, 'Shit, I got it.'" ~ Jeff Hafley

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Montana silver bullet's picture

This century---------------2000 forward

Montana Silver Bullet

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cjkanski's picture

2001 forward for all you gregorian calendar/century users.

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3ydncloudofdust's picture

Preach it Ramzy, preach it!

I do love "THE voice of the Buckeyes", though. 

A lion sleeps in every man, dissatisfaction moves him,  complacency keeps him asleep.

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Frostybuck88's picture

You mean peach it, right?
 

The Dude abides...

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CALPOPPY's picture

I'll have to try this. I'm still stuck on Liber-Tea. Maybe stuck is the wrong word because it's a happy place.

Memento mori

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Hovenaut's picture

Too much to love about The Situational.

Just want to note I very much appreciate the timing, mid-day on humpday. Smack dab between the last outing and the next contest.

What's done is done, folks. Let's focus on the future...one game at a time.

Beat Kent State, Go Buckeyes.
 

Hindsight is, and in, 2020

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ScoobyKnows's picture

Great article Ramzy.  FWIW I would rather listen to Keels and Lachey than watch and listen to Beth Mowins.

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KevinJ's picture

Another outstanding Situational Ramzy!!!

Cheers

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IBLEEDSCARLETANDGRAY's picture

Damn I want to try that drink. That looks like something that'll trick you into drinking eight 12 of them because they taste so good.

I have to have faith Meyer, Ash and Warinner can fix things. I have come to grips with the fact we may lose more games but I am also hopeful the young Bucks get their lumps out of the way now so we can get back to dominating in 2015 and 2016 when these guys are upperclassmen.

Ramzy you as are golden as ever.

"I find your lack of kalua disturbing" - Darth Lebowski

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faux_maestro's picture

The only bourbon appropriate for last Saturday:

They're all chickens. The rooster has sex with all of them.

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BuddhaBuck's picture

Faux_Maestro - or this?

Don't text while driving.

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BeijingBucks's picture

As long as we don't have to drink any more Double Eagle

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BucksfanXC's picture

Brings a tear to my eye. Thanks RN!

“Any time you give a man something he doesn't earn, you cheapen him. Our kids earn what they get, and that includes respect.”  - Woody

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Frostybuck88's picture

mmmmmmmm...Peaches AND bourbon... how perfectly indulgent is that Ramzy!  You go brother!

The Dude abides...

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BuckeyeChuck's picture

I'm not the only who doesn't like Paul Keels as a football play-by-play man?

It became apparent after a couple of seasons that Paul has significant limitations, when calling football:

(1)  He can't see the field.  Ohio Stadium's pressbox is a long way from the field and he so often miscalls the action that it's apparent the action is not getting past his eyes. He particularly struggles with the bright yellow flags that are used to call penalties, often not seeing them if they are outside the immediate area where the pigskin goes.

(2)  He doesn't understand the game.  An understanding of the game would help to counteract his inability to see the field.  Certainly, it would help him avoid compound errors in which he miscalls the action and then rambles on about his miscall as though it has actually happened.

(3)  His bag of verbal tools seems to be very limited.  The buttery, deeply-inflected delivery can't hide the wondrously repetitious vocabulary with which he describes the game.  "Hit him in a bad spot.  The hands." must be something he says at least once per game.  And "mmmMMMMMMmmmmmm" at least once per quarter.  Also, he complains *every week* about the duplicate numbers. Were I accepting a salary to do his job, I would study the roster endlessly to know the names and numbers each week, and then I would understand the patterns.  For example, if there is a number 5 on defense and yet another on offense, and the team were on offense, I would know which #5 is on the field.

That said, he has a great voice and a smooooooth delivery, at least one of which (the voice) was in sharp contrast to Terry Smith.  And Paul-Keels-as-a-basketball-play-by-play guy is great, in my opinion.  Why?  First, he can see the action.  Second, the action is too fast to have to offer any explanation, so no real knowledge of the game is required.

I always enjoyed Brad Johansen as the Bengals play-by-play guy.  I'd love to hear him teamed up with Lachey in the Ohio State booth.  Alas, Paul will be the mouthpiece until he retires, after which he will be feted by some (most?) as the great voice of the Buckeyes.

200+ Buckeye football games attended since 1989 and counting...

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Frostybuck88's picture

Count me in as well.  I find PK mind numbingly awful.  Johansen would be an upgrade for sure, love his work with Lapham.

The Dude abides...

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Buckeye Chuck's picture

^^^^Not to be confused with me.^^^^^^

Though Keels has always left me a little cold as well.

The most "loud mouth, disrespect" poster on 11W.

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woodcocklives@osu's picture

Interesting.......an OSU blogosphere criticism of the marketing and hype machine ....that's a first....or at least a rarity,

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bedheadjc's picture

More wistful than Morrisey? Impossible, unless he slits his wrists while performing in that clip.

(Didn't watch: Did he slit his wrists?)

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shadybuck's picture

Who is Morrisey?... and I'm assuming it's not the guy who plays this guy

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bedheadjc's picture

The Moz. (If you're a Brit) Lead singer of the Smiths. Angst ridden, pretentious. Perfect fuel for a male highschooler in the 80's-90's. Possessor of the best hair in Alternative music. Now a professional gig canceler. Don't love him, love the music. Sadness? If you go to a concert of his now 90% of the crowd is balding men in their 40's. I've never been to a concert where the crowd depressed me. Couple thousand Me's standing around feeling old.

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TBDBITL0509's picture

That drink looks amazing! Grilled peaches are my go-to dessert this time of year, and now you add bourbon? Yessir!

If any of you are in the Denver area, you can get an ice cream called "The Tipsy Peach" at High Point Creamery in Hilltop (South of Aurora) right now. We're good friends with the owners (fellow Buckeyes), and they made this bourbon infused vanilla bean ice cream with bourbon-soaked peaches in honor of my wedding in June. It's only in stores for another month, so check it out!

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Bucksfan's picture

Can't get behind your Paul Keels distaste (I think he's one of the best in the game), but my wife might actually drink bourbon if I made her one of those!

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ibuck's picture

Here it is, the dreaded, unwelcome saying:  "It's a rebuilding year."

Until it is unequivocally demonstrated, OSU is not reloading at these positions: OL, QB, WR, LB, DB, PK.

Just hope they get it together before Rutgers, Maryland and TTUN face our Buckeyes.

Our honor defend, so we'll fight to the end !

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osu407's picture

I think there should be a suck tax but investments in the program are a write off so they can still get the full amount if they use it right, but they lose it if they don't invest. 

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DaytonBuck1980's picture

What we're left with one-sixth of the way through the season

1/6th!! You just had to put it that way huh Ramzy? That just makes an already too short season seem even shorter. 

Still not giving a damn for the whole state of Michigan. 

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Barnsey69's picture

Purdue has a nice student union...so let's reduce the "suck tax" just a smidge.

Excellent work, as usual sir.

Thank the Maker that I was born in Ohio, cradle of coaches, US Presidents, confederate-stomping Generals, the Uncomparable  Joe Burrow, and home of The Ohio State University Buckeyes- 2014 UNDISPUTED National Champions!

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Maestro's picture

I have "caring too much" fatigue.  I was thinking about the 3 of 4 the other night.  So depressing.  Ugghhh!!!!  I am Debbie Downer fan right now.

vacuuming sucks

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hetuck's picture

1. In keeping with the bourbon theme, Kentucky Bourbon Barrel Ale is a keeper.

2. Keels is the Muzak of college sports announcing. I'd like to see Tom Hamilton have a crack at the OSU job. Yes, he can be over the top, but I'll accept higher highs and technical competence. 

Winning is a habit. Unfortunately, so is losing.

Vince Lombardi

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causeicouldntgo43's picture

Great write up as usual. Agree that our expectations, wherever you imbibed them from, were sky high. The pre-torn labrum ranking, the recent 24 regular season wins, the recruiting rankings, and the faith in all things Meyer made it to tough to look at 2014 as a dreaded rebuilding year. It may turn out that way yet, but I hope not.

I'm hoping VT really does have unique speedy D linemen we are not likely to encounter the rest of the year. I'm hoping that if those new receivers can get better at catching the ball we will prevent the next Bud Foster wanna-be from going all out cover 0, all game. I'm hoping Curtis and Perry get a little better at the underneath pass coverage. I'm hoping our Aussie kicker doesn't read anymore great novels on the Shoe video screen (focus dude). I'm hoping the trials of Nurenberger are short lived. I'm hoping JT has been studying Troy Smith video.

I continue to hope that our Tight Ends don't get too tight from just blocking. I also hope our resident Mensa coach doesn't suffer from "this should be working, it has to, I'm just gonna keep doing it until it works" syndrome. Yes, in theory you must pass a lot, down field against cover 0 until they go to zone after you score a few TD's. But at some point you have to make the adjustment, call in the relief pitcher, whatever, before it is too late. I thought this was finally happening with the back-to back speed options to Samuel, but then, no, head fake. I know adjusting says your strategy was wrong, and it's tough to admit, but you have to do it.

Cause Autumn's damn well here now. 

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IGotAWoody's picture

This is immediately the song that came to mind as I was reading this

“The best executive is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it.” – Theodore Roosevelt

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Menexenus's picture

Thanks for this.  Great memories...

Real fans stay for Carmen.

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cvillebuckeye65's picture

Paul Keels is The Voice of the Buckeyes.  What are you even talking about?

TUN SUCKS!!!

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jbirmmd's picture

Great article Ramzy!

Particularly interested in your take on how revenue sharing may actually be harming the competitive fire of some in the conference. Kind of sounds like a good summary of why socialist redistribution doesn't work for nations either, as you pointed out when discussing Purdue's suckiness: "Still, it's clear that there is some abuse to the revenue sharing where reinvestment is concerned."

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IGotAWoody's picture

Kind of sounds like a good summary of why socialist redistribution doesn't work for nations either,

Tell that to Switzerland, Sweden, Finland, Norway, and all the other countries that have a thriving socialist democratic society. I know that we're venturing into breaking the 'no politics' rule, here, and I'm sure some will have an "America: Love it or Leave it!" kind of reaction to this, but the Scandinavian countries in particular are doing much better than the US in many areas, including economic equality, education, health care, and low unemployment. Just as others in the world could learn a lot from our example, we in turn could benefit by implementing some of the smart policies that other countries are using.

I think your comment and it's comparison was not a valid apples to apples take.

“The best executive is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it.” – Theodore Roosevelt

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jbirmmd's picture

Well, this is definitely not the forum for this, but I would take issue with how one defines "better" in terms of how the Scandinavian countries you mention are "doing better" than us.  Also, there is a big difference between investing in national infrastructure (education, economic opportunity, etc) and simple welfare or redistribution of wealth, with no accountability or expectations.  We have a permanent underclass because of low expectations and dependency, not because of lack of opportunity. 

Also, it is a bit more convenient to be able to invest all your national economy in the above areas when you don't have to be the police force for the world, as we are. 

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Menexenus's picture

SETEC ASTRONOMY!

Real fans stay for Carmen.

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Northbrook's picture

Mom said yes peaches, no bourbon. Mom lets you have bourbon? Mom always liked you best.

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RuGettinIt's picture

I just hope we haven't been RichRodded with this spread offense recruiting of track stars.  If only we could get the ball to our playmakers in space.....yeah that's the ticket...

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bbb's picture

that song is so much cringe

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