The Situational: Championship Repellant

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MikeNugents BigToe's picture

Watching the Buckeye Babes video was funny for about the first 30 seconds... until I realized my mom was attending tOSU at the same time the video was being shot.

"Remember that 55 yarder against Marshall?" -Not Mike Nugent

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bukyze's picture

Thanks for making me feel so freaking old.

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Denny's picture

The vacant property thing is redundant vis-a-vis The Wire and nailguns, anyways.

But mostly, let's get excited to go to Baltimore and eat delicious pit beef and drink wonderful Natty Bohs. 

Taquitos.

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TheBadOwl's picture

The best "Biggie Smalls conspiracy tweet" came from Jeopardy champion and all-around funny guy Ken Jennings.

When I walked in this morning and saw the flag was at half mast I thought, "Alright, another bureaucrat ate it." but then I saw it was Li'l Sebastian. Half mast is too high. Show some damn respect.

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cinserious's picture

Haha! And how did Tupac know anything about 'CJ' from San Andreas when GTA S.A. came out in 2004 and Tupac died in '96?

One day I will valiantly become a political prisoner of 11W jail.

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OSUMyke's picture

I am sorry but does anyone even know that the world trade was bombed in 1993 before Juicy came out in 1995. Just thought I would throw that little fact out there. That there have been serveral attempts on the world trade it's just in 2001 kinda but an end to the attempts

Mike Cutlip

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TheBadOwl's picture

 

When I walked in this morning and saw the flag was at half mast I thought, "Alright, another bureaucrat ate it." but then I saw it was Li'l Sebastian. Half mast is too high. Show some damn respect.

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Zimmy07's picture

Thank you!  I was starting to get annoyed that no one remembered the 1993 van bombing.

edit - OK.  My bad.  I should have read the last part after getting really annoyed at the twitter comments.

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jhart's picture

OSU/Navy tickets purchased.

Orioles/Twins tickets purchased (Friday night).

Inner harbor hotel booked.

Can't wait!!

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cinserious's picture

Dude, you almost had me convinced the 1993 WTC bombing didn't even happen. Almost. Drats! I wanted to be the one to enlighten the hipster generation about how Biggie knew!

One day I will valiantly become a political prisoner of 11W jail.

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cinserious's picture

I dare Mark Pantoni to send that 'Buckeye Babes' video to Torrance Gibson in an attempt to lure him to Columbus.

One day I will valiantly become a political prisoner of 11W jail.

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KevinJ's picture

Haven't tried the Baby Bourbon and whats held me back is the $40+ price tag for a 375ml bottle, when I can get a 750ml bottle of Four Roses Single Barrel, for the same price. I will give them props though at least they are making their own juice unlike other Micro Distillers who are buying from other distillers and claiming it to be their own. I will make a point in honor of this situational to order a glass the next time I frequent my local whiskey bar.

Ramzy I know you are a big fan of some of the KBD whiskeys, if you run across a bottle of the Willett 4yr Rye pick it up you will thank me later. Cheers
 

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Ramzy Nasrallah's picture

Willett is terrific. I prefer Baby, but those are the kinds of choices you want life to give you.

jedkat's picture

Have you had Widow Jane? What are your thoughts?

Only speaks in swear_trek gifs

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KevinJ's picture

those are the kinds of choices you want life to give you

So true, so true, isn't America great! (As well as it's Bourbon and Rye)

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Doc's picture

I thought it couldn't be called Bourbon unless it was distilled in Kentucky?  Please clarify.

“Ain’t life grand when you finally hit it!”  DLR

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KevinJ's picture

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bourbon_whiskey

Legal requirements

Bourbon's legal definition varies somewhat from country to country, but many trade agreements require the name bourbon to be reserved for products made in the United States. The U.S. regulations for labeling and advertising bourbon apply only to products made for consumption within the United States; they do not apply to distilled spirits made for export.[15] Canadian law requires products labeled bourbon to be made in the United States and also to conform to the requirements that apply within the United States. But in countries other than the United States and Canada, products labeled bourbon may not adhere to the same standards. For example, in the European Union, products labeled as bourbon are not required to conform to all of the regulations that apply within the United States, though they still must be made in the U.S.

The Federal Standards of Identity for Distilled Spirits (27 C.F.R. 5) state that bourbon made for U.S. consumption[15] must be:

Produced in the United States[16]
Made from a grain mixture that is at least 51% corn[16]
Aged in new, charred oak barrels[16]
distilled to no more than 160 (U.S.) proof (80% alcohol by volume)[16]
Entered into the barrel for aging at no more than 125 proof (62.5% alcohol by volume)[16]
Bottled (like other whiskeys) at 80 proof or more (40% alcohol by volume)[17]

 

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hodge's picture

Interestingly, since the mash is over 80% corn, that Hudson Baby Bourbon could also be considered corn whiskey, couldn't it?  

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Ramzy Nasrallah's picture

It could, but corn whiskey isn't required to sit in charred oak barrels. It can be made in charred, uncharred or gently-used barrels.

When the mix is >51% corn and the barrels are charred (and there's no sugar added, which happens with some corn whiskeys) they just call it bourbon. Also, over the past decade bourbon is on fire - so it helps with marketing the product.

nm_buck's picture

Yep.  Whiskey can be clear... like 'shine.  It's the charred oak that gives bourbon the sweet caramels, vanillas and other wonderful flavors.  I once brewed a bourbon-barrel porter and I had some charred oak cubes that I was going to add into the fermenter.  In the interest of sanitation, I soaked the oak in a half-pint of Stolies for about 3 days.  I decanted the stolies and added the oak to the fermenter.  Then I noticed the vodka had turned a wonderful amber color.  It had converted into some of the sweetest bourbon I had ever tasted.  Don't know if the vodka mash qualified for real bourbon... but dang it was surprisingly mellow.  The porter came out nice as well.

"The future is bright at Ohio State."  - Urban Meyer 1/1/15

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RBuck's picture

Ah hell, I just skipped to The Bourbon.

Sooner or later it all gets real.

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ISURVIVEDCOOPER's picture

Thanks Ramzy - Everyone loves a conspiracy theory, but thank you for being responsible enough to remind folks that a truck loaded with TNT was one of the known attempts in 1993... I have a hard time believing Biggie had prophetic powers, but gotta love the gift he left us to have fun topics.

 

"I don't apologize for anything.  When I make a mistake, I take the blame and go on from there." - Woody Hayes

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Estrada's picture

I believe it was actually a fertilizer based bomb, and not TNT in the truck.

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ISURVIVEDCOOPER's picture

I probably should have said 'urea nitrate-hydrogen'-based bomb instead, but whatever. =)

"I don't apologize for anything.  When I make a mistake, I take the blame and go on from there." - Woody Hayes

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MediBuck's picture

It's been forever since I commented here, but The Situational always brings me back. Especially the Bourbon.

Thanks for being my favorite sports writer in the world (without actually being a professional sports writer), Ramzy.

"There is a force that makes us all brothers, no one goes his way alone." --Woody Hayes

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thatlillefty's picture

As a DC resident now, I can't wait for the Buckeyes to come to Baltimore. Should be a great time. Definitely going to try and see a Orioles game on Sunday too.

Also, The Wire is hands down my favorite TV show of all-time. I just started rewatching the series.
 

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Ethos's picture

Hey Ramzy, you ever try the bourbon from Mississippi River? Called Cody Road.  It's pretty decent, the distillery is located in Le Claire near where I live. (also the location of American Pickers, but yeah)

"I spent 90 percent of my money on women and drink. The rest I wasted." - George Best

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Ramzy Nasrallah's picture

I have not. I think I should.
 

Ethos's picture

Also do not scare parents, Hylands teething tablets were returned to market in 2011 safe as can be.  I used them on my 2 year old and am currently using them on my 4 month old.

"I spent 90 percent of my money on women and drink. The rest I wasted." - George Best

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Denny's picture

Yeah but bourbon's never been pulled as a remedy.

It's just science.

Taquitos.

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OSU_ALUM_05's picture

I read the Biggie story and I immediately (and randomly) thought of the old SNL skit where Dana Carvey is playing Tom Brokaw and is prerecording news clips so he can take a vacation .. so they have to come up with every possibility to make sure they've got material when he's gone.  The transcript is below .....

Tom Brokaw: Okay, who are we up to?

Voice of Producer: Uh.. we're still on Presidents. Gerald Ford.

Tom Brokaw: Gerald Ford? Well, he's in good shape..

Voice of Producer: Just covering our bases, Tom. You never know..

Tom Brokaw: Alright, alright.. [ graphic of Gerald Ford, "1913-1996" appears over Tom's left shoulder ] "Gerald Ford dead today at the age of 83."

Voice of Producer: Okay, good. Annd, one for next year.

Tom Brokaw: Alright.. [ graphic of Gerald Ford, "1913-1997" ] "Gerald Ford dead today, at age 84."

Voice of Producer: Uh.. a little sadder.

Tom Brokaw: Alright. [ sad ] "Gerald Ford dead today.. at age 84.."

Voice of Producer: That was good. Good.

Tom Brokaw: Okay, what now?

Voice of Producer: Now let's do one for if he's shot.

Tom Brokaw: Well, what are the chances of that?

Voice of Producer: We're just covering contingencies.

Tom Brokaw: I mean, it just seems that Gerald Ford..

Voice of Producer: Look - you're the one who wants to spend the whole winter in Barbados, okay? Now, we gotta be ready with something, just in case. Alright, Tom?

Tom Brokaw: Alright, alright.. [ graphic of Gerald Ford, "1913-1996" ] "Gerald Ford shot dead today, at age 83."

Voice of Producer: Uh.. add the word "senseless".

Tom Brokaw: Alright. "Gerald Ford shot dead today, at the senseless age of 83."

Voice of Producer: Um.. uh..

Tom Brokaw: Alright, alright.. "Gerald Ford shot senselessly dead, at the age of 83."

Voice of Producer: Good, good.. Okay, now suicide.

Tom Brokaw: What?!

Voice of Producer: Just read it!

Tom Brokaw: Alright. "Gerald Ford dead today, after jupming out of an office building,senselessly."

Voice of Producer: That's a nice touch. Okay, moving on.

Tom Brokaw: Okay. "Gerald Ford dead today, from an overdose of crack cocaine."

Voice of Producer: Good, good.. Next.

Tom Brokaw: Alright. [ graphic of Gerald Ford and a commuter plane ] "Stunning news from Michigan, as former President Gerald Ford was chopped into little bits by the propeller of a commuter plane."

Voice of Producer: Good. One take.

Tom Brokaw: Alright, we got it?

Voice of Producer: No. We've got "eaten by wolves".

Tom Brokaw: What? Now, come on!

Voice of Producer: Just read it!

Tom Brokaw: Gerald Ford isn't gonna be eaten by wolves!

Voice of Producer: Taft was.

Tom Brokaw: Really? Taft?

Voice of Producer: Uh.. yeah.

Tom Brokaw: Alright, alright.. [ graphic of Ford surrounded by a pair of wolves ] "Tragedy today, as former President Gerald Ford was eaten by wolves. He was delicious." Now.. now, that's just superfluous, you know?

Voice of Producer: It's a former President, Tom. What do you say - he's not delicious?

Tom Brokaw: Alright, fine.. what's next?

Voice of Producer: The double story.

Tom Brokaw: Alright. [ graphic of Ford and map of France ] "A fireball destroyed France today, and Gerald Ford is dead." Now, what are the odds of that?

Voice of Producer: Fine. We'll get Stone Phillips to do it. You know, I'm sure Stone Phillips would be thrilled to break a story like that!

Tom Brokaw: Alright. Let's keep moving.. [ graphic of Ford and the corpse of Richard Nixon ] "Stunning news from Yorba Linda today, as Richard Nixon's corpse climbed out of his grave and strangled Gerald For to death."

Voice of Producer: Excellent.

Tom Brokaw: Alright. [ graphic of Ford and circus lion ] "Gerald Ford was mauled senselessly by a circus lion in a convenience store."

Voice of Producer: Good. Next.

Tom Brokaw: Alright. "Gerald Ford is dead today, and I'm gay." Now, wait a minute!

Voice of Producer: What? That'd be a huge story - Ford dying, and you coming out!

Tom Brokaw: But I'm not gay!

Voice of Producer: Today you're not gay, you know.. but then one day you wake up, you like men, and Gerald Ford dies, and we're screwed. Everyone's hearing about it from Dan Rather!

Tom Brokaw: Alright, alright.. what's this for?

[ graphic of Gerald Ford and the Zimbabwee flag appears ]

Voice of Producer: Alright, this one's for if we're invaded by Zimbabwee.

Tom Brokaw: Would I still be the anchor if Zimbabwee invaded us?

Voice of Producer: Yeah.. if you break the Gerald Ford story, you will..

Tom Brokaw: Alright. "Hola bambe, hungala dimba Gerald Ford.. *click* *click* *click* *click* ..hola bambe, allah bumba bubba hulla humba hey."

Voice of Producer: Very nice. Very nice. A little sadder, please.

Tom Brokaw: Alright, alright.. [ sadly ] "Hola bambe, hungala dimba Gerald Ford.. *click* *click* ..hola bambe.." 

[ fade ] 

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achillesx's picture

Exactly three years ago, I started with my current company and was flying weekly to NY to do some work for a company located in Gardiner. I wish I had known about this whiskey when I was there! 

Tremendous read, as usual, Ramzy!

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OSUMyke's picture

I am not criticizing this article except for the stuff about Biggie Smalls, I am in morning for education system these people on tweeter have been through. No one has ever told them Juicy was released in 1995 and in 1993 The world trade was attacked by a bomb placed by the front door. So you can see that "Blow up like the World Trade" is a reference to the attempt in 1993 which happend 2 years before the song came out. I guess we need to update the history books again.

Mike Cutlip

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Ramzy Nasrallah's picture

I am not criticizing this article except for the stuff about Biggie Smalls, [comma splice - use a semi-colon here] I am in morning [mourning] for [our? the? US?] education system these people on tweeter [Twitter] have been through. No one has ever told them Juicy was released in 1995 [1994 - it's in the article] and in 1993 The wWorld tTrade was attacked by [terrorists using] a bomb placed by the front door [below the North Tower on the B-2 level - linked in the article]. So you can see that "Blow up like the World Trade" is a reference to the attempt in 1993 which happend [happened] 2 years before the song came out. I guess we need to update the history books again.

Just an old Big Ten student newspaper copy editor trying to help you out.

Also, read the paragraph riiiiiight after the uneducated tweeter people part. The good news here is you're correct.

OSUMyke's picture

Well thank you sir for the corrections. did not know we were submitting essay's for grades here.

Mike Cutlip

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Blackbeards Delight's picture

Now just imagine some of those Buckeye Babes in Yoga pants. I can't, had a late lunch. 
As far as Bourbon is concerned it's almost warm enough for me to consider tainting mother earths milk with another liquor or even ice. The old fashioned is nice but if I don't want to F around with sugar cubes and muddling I mix up a Stiletto
2 oz bourbon/whiskey
1/2 oz amaretto
1/2 lemon juice
1 teaspoon lime juice 
I skip the lemon and lime juice for total alcoholic enjoyment and call it an Ugg boot 

"Adequately achieving on 40% brawn, 40% Bourbon, and 20% good looks, is over achieving."

- Me

 

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Earle's picture

I remain convinced that if it hadn't been for the 1980's, the ozone layer would still be completely intact.

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BierStube's picture

She has no idea what you are talking about ... like totally!

"No matter where you go, there you are." B. Banzai

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BucksfanXC's picture

I now have plans for Labor Day and have to call my OSU grad best friend and tell him he does too.

“Any time you give a man something he doesn't earn, you cheapen him. Our kids earn what they get, and that includes respect.”  - Woody

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@OSUDefender's picture

I was thinking of decorating an area of my bar with some Hudson Bay bottles... then I remembered that nobody puts Baby in the corner.

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NitroBuck's picture

then I remembered that nobody puts Baby in the corner.

I see what you did there...Johnny Castle.  

Ferio.  Tego.

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BuckeyeChief's picture

@Ramzy,

it is 1232 AM where I am at...I am out to sea with a head cold and can't sleep, no nyquil in site and I just hit the 18 year mark in the Navy...the internet here sucks and I came across this, and I was like "WTF???" so I had to log in...boy am I glad I read the whole thing before commenting...I will never doubt you again.

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NitroBuck's picture

Thank you for serving, Chief.

Ferio.  Tego.

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nm_buck's picture

thanks x2... Chief

"The future is bright at Ohio State."  - Urban Meyer 1/1/15

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BuckeyeChief's picture

No, thank you all for the support.

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NitroBuck's picture

If you forget about the 1993 WTC bombing ever happening - because all of these people obviously have - it is a fascinating question: How did Biggie know? How?

Great work as usual, Ramzy.  Thanks for a good laugh.

Ferio.  Tego.

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BassDropper's picture

I used to think it was common knowledge that Biggie was talking about the '93 attacks... until my friends (who happen to be arab) tried to convince me that Biggie was in the CIA and was trying to warn the USA about the terrorist attacks. They made some really valid points and has changed the way I view not only the the murder of Agent Christopher Wallace, but the government as well. Bigs death is still unsolved today. I think there is someone or something that is keeping Biggies killers from being caught. The CIA had the perfect opportunity to take care of Biggie, most of the world would think that it was a retaliation from the 2pac killing/east coast-west coast beef, but in reality it was to eliminate a snitch. 

DIRECTIONER

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jamesrbrown322's picture

Could he be talking about how world trade itself blew up? You know, nations selling to other nations and moving jobs back and forth? In other words, world trade, not World Trade [Center]?

"Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed, is more important than any other one thing." - Abraham Lincoln

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