Best Marital Advice

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McBane's picture

Don't cropdust your wife.

Just keep winning!

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Marcus Hall's Middle Fingers's picture

False. You absolutely SHOULD cropdust your wife. Actually you should cropdust any and all members of your family. I once cropdusted the audience at my daughter's church Christmas program. It turned out to be one of my all-time greatest cropdusts. 

There's never a bad time to serve up a tasty fart sandwich to your family.

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Byaaaahhh's picture

I've never had an opinion on the matter before, but I now know with 100% certainty: I'm really glad we're not related. 

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Buckslip's picture

Umm....correction. It's "crapdusting". Thank you and come again. 

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0H-10's picture

LMFAOROFLOLTRDMF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

o||||||o

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Jumar's picture

How do you feel about the Dutch oven?

If you continue to think what you always thought, you will continue to get what you always got. #AlumforStaff

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McBane's picture

That's an art one must take years to master.  I learned from my master Ra's al Ghul 

Just keep winning!

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BuckeyeRealist13's picture

When you want to start swinging a few years in, really think it through and have open dialogue. 

2x account suspension survivor 

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BurningRiverBuckeye's picture

What if you want to do it but don't want her to do it? 

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Earle's picture

Spoiler:  She already is.

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BurningRiverBuckeye's picture

Comment removed for violating the site's commenting policy.

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BurningRiverBuckeye's picture

Really? Using a GIF of "you are fake news" violates the commenting policy now? I have seen this used multiple times on this site. 

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Earle's picture

I didn’t edit your comment, but the gif you posted is routinely removed. Certain individuals have a, shall we say, incendiary effect on the commentary. Don’t take it personally  

As to the spirit of your comment, it was received in the lighthearted manner of my initial comment, which wasn’t directed at any individual, but the theoretical guy who is interested in experimenting, but wondering whether his wife would be game. 

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McBane's picture

Never say to your wife, "I think you're overreacting." 

Just keep winning!

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FeedZeke420's picture

Truth! id also throw in "calm down"

Go Bucks!

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rosycheeks's picture

Ah, "calm down." The two words in the English language that never, ever, ever have their intended effect.

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BeatTTUN's picture

It's adorable that you think you're allowed to say "I think..." in the presence of your wife. 

I saw Ryan Day hang 62 on Michigan...His hair was perfect.

Go Buckeyes Beat Michigan

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McBane's picture

"I think" you're on to something, Beat.  However, when upset, she never fails to ask, "what were you thinking?"

Just keep winning!

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BeatTTUN's picture

When she asks “what were you thinking” just realize 

It’s a trap 

I saw Ryan Day hang 62 on Michigan...His hair was perfect.

Go Buckeyes Beat Michigan

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buckz4evr's picture

You might want to try "I feel" instead of "think".

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BuckeyeChief's picture

If she is kind enough to make you lunch, but doesn’t add mayo or mustard to the sandwiches, don’t say anything about it.

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DurhamBuckeye's picture

I almost forgot about this old thread.  Thank you!

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BuckeyeChief's picture

What can I say, except, “you’re welcome!”

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YTOWNBUCKI's picture

You could say many things, Chief.  'You're welcome' ain't one of 'em.

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FeedZeke420's picture

1. Marry your best friend

2. If they are not a buckeye, convert them as soon as possible. My wife is from Tennessee but she knows not to schedule anything on Saturday until I let her know what time the game is. Just celebrated 9 years and shes been a die hard buckeye for at least 8 of them.

3. In an argument you can either be right or be married, just swallow your pride apologize and take out any resulting aggression during the make up lol. When a woman knows you have won the argument, they resort to bringing up old arguments until your confused and don't even know what your arguing about anymore, your just mad. save yourself the time and frustration just apologize lol. (mostly joking on this one, but there is some truth to it)

4. If she don't like skyline chili... NEXT

Go Bucks!

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BuckeyeSki's picture

Skyline chili might lead to your wife crop dusting you

Leave one wolf alive....and the sheep are never safe

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buckzilla1's picture

Skyline chili will lead to someone shitting on the couch. 

You never lose to those pricks. Ever. Ever. Urban Frank Meyer

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Calgarybuck's picture

You're so right about number 3

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YTOWNBUCKI's picture

When a woman knows you have won the argument, they resort to bringing up old arguments until your confused and don't even know what your arguing about anymore, your just mad. 

I'm not sure truer words have ever been spoken.

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Jumar's picture

Agreed 100%

If you continue to think what you always thought, you will continue to get what you always got. #AlumforStaff

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bukyze's picture

Bill Burr drives home point number 3:

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FeedZeke420's picture

its easier said then done too lol, even last night I fell into the trap. I still have no clue what we were even mad about.

Go Bucks!

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BeatTTUN's picture

Phase 1. Get a Boston Butt. 

Phase 2. ?

Phase 3. Profit 

I saw Ryan Day hang 62 on Michigan...His hair was perfect.

Go Buckeyes Beat Michigan

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Gratefulbuck's picture

Ohio Butt > Boston Butt. Fact 

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BeatTTUN's picture

Before we leave...Let me tell y'all a little something

YTOWN Ohio Butt..I said...YTOWN Ohio Butt..YTOWN Ohio Butt...YTOWN Ohio Butt!

You know what Grateful I can make that work, don't believe me just watch. 

I saw Ryan Day hang 62 on Michigan...His hair was perfect.

Go Buckeyes Beat Michigan

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YTOWNBUCKI's picture

How much have you missed me?

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BeatTTUN's picture

I saw Ryan Day hang 62 on Michigan...His hair was perfect.

Go Buckeyes Beat Michigan

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NOLABuckeye's picture

Phase 2. ? Don't schedule a tOSU game on a Thursday.

FIFY

Nothing cleanses the soul like a no call pass interference.

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BuckeyeChief's picture

The command I’m working at is having a pulled pork smoke off contest Monday. I can participate, but can’t win because I’m a contractor not a GS or Active Duty. I may smoke one and pass it to my supervisor to win.

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YTOWNBUCKI's picture

I definitely don't miss the contractor v. GS riffs.

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BuckeyeChief's picture

I’ve been there about a year. We are in one code, but our desks are in another. It took about 10 months before they talked to us like humans. They would have a discussion that wasn’t related to my position but I knew about, and I’d chime in and get looks like “who the f are you”. It seems to have evened out now though.

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BuckeyeSki's picture

Taking out the trash/recycling and emptying/refilling the dishwasher without being asked goes MILES 

Leave one wolf alive....and the sheep are never safe

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Seabass1974's picture

And if she does ask you just say "Sure babe, I got this." and do it immediately. Trust me for what happens after.

The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender. - Woody Hayes

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MercyTex's picture

After 10 years that counts as foreplay.

Our people are everywhere, Esto Dignus.

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YTOWNBUCKI's picture

One word.  Yet so much to absorb.

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NavyBuckeye91's picture

Rent don't buy?

"You beat cancer by how you live, why you live, & in the manner in which you live.
So, live. Live. Fight like hell. And when you get too tired to fight then lay down and rest and let somebody else fight for you. "
- Stuart Scott

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Earle's picture

Either way, you end up paying.

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BuckeyeChief's picture

Solid advice for the auto market as well.

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All Ok Jumpmaster's picture

yeah came to say the same thing

Stay Frosty

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AZBUCKFAN's picture

LOL! Those things often prove to be worthless in court.....FACT.

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Marcus Hall's Middle Fingers's picture

I think Charlie Robison said it best. "Being in love means never having to say you're hungry."

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Earle's picture

I could ramble on and on about marital advice, but something tells me you wouldn't be interested.

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McBane's picture

It IS Tuesday...

Just keep winning!

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YTOWNBUCKI's picture
but something tells me you wouldn't be interested
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YTOWNBUCKI's picture

When we got married a prenup would've equated to us splitting 50 bucks.

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LoudBuckeyeGirl's picture

We kept separate accounts. We have some investments (mutual funds) that we both contribute to, and we each pay 1/2 the morgatge, but separate checking/savings/retirement accounts.  We have never fought about money (we are both fairly reserved with spending). In the beginning, I made more, but he's making more now (married 27 years).  It also helps that we don't have kids. One less thing to fight about. 

The bobbleheads hate the offseason.

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NorCal Buckeye's picture

Ha, that last point may be the most key advice. Don't have any kids!

(this comment is not sponsored by Jumar or his minivan dealership)

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McBane's picture

I don't think "mini" is the appropriate adjective...

Just keep winning!

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NHBuckeye's picture

I'd love to know if anyone has successfully navigated suggesting a prenup.  To me that just screams of not having the perfect partner.  To which, one should prolly question the marriage decision to begin with..

Fields of Dreams

 

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BigWillRIP's picture

I recently listened to a podcast about this that had some pretty logical advice/thoughts.  Basically, when you get married, you automatically agree to a prenup, except it's what your state believes you should do.  Why not hash it out to your specific situation.  Also, the prenup is similar to insurance.  You don't buy insurance because you're expecting something to happen, but you know you need if something were to happen.

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Buckeye_Condor's picture

one thing I have been trying to do after I mess up us not just say I'm sorry, but also acknowledge how that hurt your woman and then ask something like "I want to understand how that made you feel" hopefully helps to avoid stepping on the same land mines in the future.

Connor Brown

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YTOWNBUCKI's picture

One thing someone told me to do awhile back in a disagreement is to acknowledge what she says and then repeat "what I'm hearing you say is...".  It really rids of confusion.

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Buckeye_Condor's picture

best marriage book I have ever read is The Marriage Builder by Larry Crabb. even if you don't agree with his religious points. its awesome

Connor Brown

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YTOWNBUCKI's picture

Yeah I've found that most arguments I've had thus far aren't because of actual discourse but because one of us didn't quite understand what the other was actually saying.  Basically, shit gets lost in translation.

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AZBUCKFAN's picture

What really happens is that men argue factually; women argue emotionally. That is the issue.

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Buckeye.383's picture

This is also a really good tactic to use at work to avoid breakdown in communication. 

Born, raised, educated, and will die a Buckeye ~ BuckeyeNation

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OVBuckeye's picture

When you ask your wife "What do you want to do tonight?" and she replies with "I don't know, whatever you want to do." She doesn't really want to do what you want to do. She wants you to figure out what she wants to do and then do that.

The same holds true with restaurants, She doesnt want you to pick a restaurant you like, she wants you to read her mind and figure out where she wants to eat.

They do this so that they get their way, but make it look like you made the decision. Wives are very crafty!

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osurox's picture

A little hack for the restaurant conundrum; Ask your wife to guess which restaurant you are taking her to as a surprise, then take her to the first place she guesses.

How Firm Thy Friendship...Oh-Hi-Oh

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LoudBuckeyeGirl's picture

The Mr. usually comes home and lists about 3 options and adds that he's up for anything else if I have a preference. I usually pick one of the 3 he's listed. We have a bit of a rotation/rut in any event, not like we're making big changes.  It might be taco Tuesday tonight. 

The bobbleheads hate the offseason.

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Il_Padrino's picture

She must know her value in your bed.

She must appreciate your hard work.

She must let you think you're right more than you're wrong.

You must keep your damn mouth shut if all 3 above fit your situation.

Living the life!  Go Buckeyes!  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

CPO and CDR, USN (ret)

1942, 1954, 1957, 1961, 1968, 1970, 2002, 2014 NATIONAL CHAMPIONS!

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Buckeyefan4742's picture

Don't become predictable or fall into a routine. Your spouse will catch on fast and take advantage.....a friend told me that anyway

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Skunk bear blood's picture

Learn to nod your head up and down without saying too much.

IT. WAS. A. FUMBLE.

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B44's picture

Talk, Talk Talk. If you two aren't talking, you've got big problems. Nothing should ever surprise you. if it does, you fucked up somewhere. 

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buckzilla1's picture

Dutch ovens are to cook in not used as a weapon

You never lose to those pricks. Ever. Ever. Urban Frank Meyer

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Jumar's picture

False

If you continue to think what you always thought, you will continue to get what you always got. #AlumforStaff

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Jumar's picture

Happy wife = happy life

If you continue to think what you always thought, you will continue to get what you always got. #AlumforStaff

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Earle's picture

This seems to run counter to your dutch oven philosophy.

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Buckeye.383's picture

Happy spouse = happy house.....not that I am saying this is the best advice but throwing it out there haha 

Born, raised, educated, and will die a Buckeye ~ BuckeyeNation

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LoudBuckeyeGirl's picture

Happy spouse, happy house.  (stole this from a friend)

Edit. What he said ^

The bobbleheads hate the offseason.

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EvanstonBuckeye's picture

There are probably only a few real "deal-breakers" in marriage and you and your spouse should agree upon these (infidelity, excessive drug or alcohol use, cruelty, chronic dishonesty).

Everything else is just a misunderstanding that you can correct if you work together. 

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NavyBuckeye91's picture

Best book I've read about relationships said that too often we assume bad intentions, when really it was just poor execution or explanation.  If we assume the other person has good intentions first, and ask questions to clarify second, then we can avoid a whole lot misunderstandings that lead to arguments.

"You beat cancer by how you live, why you live, & in the manner in which you live.
So, live. Live. Fight like hell. And when you get too tired to fight then lay down and rest and let somebody else fight for you. "
- Stuart Scott

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Buckslip's picture

As a 39 year old single guy, who still has his youth, will to live, and made some good money...

If it flies, floats, or fucks....rent it!

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osu992's picture

Rent, don't buy?

New Day for OSU. Same noon for TTUN.

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hodge's picture

Congrats on the 5+ years, OP! My wife and I just hit 5 years earlier this month (we got married on OSU's bye week during the championship season).

Marry your best friend. Shared interests are good (for example: I like whiskey and ohio state football; so does my wife), but shared lifestyles are even better. For example, my wife and I spend damn near every second with each other. Not all couples do that, and that's okay -- so long as you both roll the same way. 

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BUCKEYE3M's picture

we got married on OSU's bye week during the championship season

Your new enemy is the calendar, even if you don't yet realize it. 

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OSU56's picture

Wife and I just celebrated our 37th anniversary And best advice is work together on issues where flexibility on both individuals is needed, have a sense of humor, and crop dust strategically and time it properly for the proper intended result.   :)

Enjoying daily the back to back ttun beatdowns.

 

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SuomiBuckeye's picture

Wife here. When we say "it's fine", IT'S NOT FINE but it's too big of a hassle or will result in a giant argument so we just say it's fine. Amazes me how many men don't understand that.

If I say "that's fine", then generally it is, in fact, fine.

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rosycheeks's picture

OP, here's all you need to know. She just parsed out "it's fine" vs. "I'm fine." In other words, you're fighting a losing battle. You might as well have asked the ratio of unicorns to mermaids.

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SuomiBuckeye's picture

Oh no, I wrote “that’s fine”

“I’m fine” could really go either way.

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QuadCitiesBuckeye's picture

Any developments on the sandwich-condiments front?

Edit: Nevermind, BuckeyeChief beat me to it.

Shandy is not beer

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GoFor3's picture

Don’t get married!

Go Buckeyes!

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IHadToGoogleArchiesMiddleName's picture

Love your wife above all else and she'll respect you above all else. This cycle will always happen, but whether in a good way or bad way is up to you and your spouse.

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tcm1968's picture

COMMUNICATION... applies to everything in life. 

Go Bucks!

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NavyBuckeye91's picture

Best advice I can give is don't take marriage advice from a bunch of fans on a sports website.  We clearly don't know jack about good marriages.

"You beat cancer by how you live, why you live, & in the manner in which you live.
So, live. Live. Fight like hell. And when you get too tired to fight then lay down and rest and let somebody else fight for you. "
- Stuart Scott

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Madturk2's picture

Don't get married, find woman u cant stand and buy her a house

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NewPhilaFan's picture

I have been married for 47 years and with the same person for 52 years, therefore, I must be doing something correct.

Let's Go Bucks

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Sunny Buck's picture

Maybe you should write a marriage book PhilaFan.

I just went over 38 years. Not bad for a blind date. My advice; Marry someone with whom you have things in common. Make her laugh. Touch her a lot (especially after the 6-7 year mark). NEVER, EVER say "you sound just like your mother". Don't let little things turn into big things.

I'm not trying to win a popularity contest. I'm trying to win football games-- Woody Hayes

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Bigmarty's picture

51 years and haven't been right about anything since I said "I do."  O FER.  Women are connected inter galactically...tremendous resources...can't win.  

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Shep1364's picture

Been married just over a year so probably not the best person to look to for advice on marriage. BUT I would say that understanding what you each want in life (career, kids, religion, sports affiliation-obviously the most important, sex expectations, etc.) are paramount to a good start.

"If we worked half as hard as our band, we'd be champions" -Wayne Woodrow Hayes

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Bugsyk's picture

Those change with the winds...Keep up and stay concurrent.

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Buck It's picture

Always Negotiate And Listen 

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BuckDigger's picture

Hard to say my bud. I was married for about 2 years long ago. We divorsed. Long after that I met my best friend in the world. She was also married before that. We've been together for 13 years now. Not married, both been there and done that. We don't really care about that piece of paper. But she's not only the love of my life but my best friend ever. I guess all I'm saying is make sure the one you are with is, in fact your best friend. Otherwise it's not right for either of you. Life is too short for yourself and another person to not be truly happy.

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OSUnWV's picture

Getting married is the worst financial decision a man can make .

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stantmann's picture

Hold her hand, kiss her goodnight, kiss her goodbye, say I love you often, compliment her, take her places, even if you have no mney, even if it is a park and a surprise baloney sandwich. Vacations and family together, because hers is yours, and yours is hers, and they should treat you as such. Grow together with honesty from this day forward. It will not always be easy, but if you have a good partner, it makes things so much easier.

"When you're part of a team, you stand up for your teammates. Your loyalty is to them. You protect them through good and bad, because they'd do the same for you." Yogi Berra

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scarletgray's picture

my best marital advice would be for you to not take marital advice from folks in football forums. 

Just be you. Encourage her to be her and enjoy each other for however long you can stand one another. 

JDK

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YTOWNBUCKI's picture

The idea wasn't to accept marital advice from an internet forum.  It was just to explore what everyone would consider their best advice.

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NativeSon's picture

just hit three years yesterday, both of us forgot until our mothers’ reminded us Monday, I guess we’re meant for each other. I just buy her Reese’s when I stop by the store and that’s kept her happy so far...

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buckguyfan1's picture

Tell her you love her every day... and mean it.   

Set goals/dreams together. 

Simplify....

Married 27 years and it works most of the time:)

Simplify...

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Gratefulbuck's picture

Me: You know I love you, right?

Her: Well, yeah, I guess. 
Me: Ok, then how about shutting up now and go make me some food. 
Her: Only if you do the dishes and get me some wine. 
 

Works for us...

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Gratefulbuck's picture

Continued typical convo...

Me: You better not fuck up my food. 
Her: You’re an asshole. 
Me: I love you. 
Her: Love you, too. 

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buckguyfan1's picture

...

You:  Well, I'm going to the Casino.

Her: Good, you're still an asshole.

Simplify...

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Gratefulbuck's picture

Me: Can I go to the casino?

Her: If you get a comp, I’ll have the ribeye. 
Me: Are you going to want a beer with that? 
Her: You’re an asshole. 
Me: Love you. Bye

Her: Good luck. 

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buckz4evr's picture

Always have quality time with spouse. Some things never get old and are eternal bonds.
Last night is a perfect example.
Hubby: There's a game on tonight.
Me: Really? Who's playing?
Hubby: Ohio St and Michigan
Me: Great! I'll make the popcorn, you get the drinks.

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TBDBITL DAD's picture

100% of all divorces are caused by marriage. Just saying.....

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Il_Padrino's picture

Read lots of great comments but hardly touched on marrying someone that understands YOUR needs...  my recommendation is to never marry someone with the thought you can fix the things that bother you about her, marry someone that has similar likes and dislikes because as fun as it sounds "opposites attract" it usually ends up in divorce if you have nothing in common.  Examples would be to find your best friend in the person and keep very few secrets, find your sexual partner that values it the same as you do, find a person that has similar tastes/styles, etc.  All of this sounds complex but if looking at things through a real lens and not the "she's new to me" lens then you can cut to the chase and know early on in dating if they are truly going to work out.

Living the life!  Go Buckeyes!  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

CPO and CDR, USN (ret)

1942, 1954, 1957, 1961, 1968, 1970, 2002, 2014 NATIONAL CHAMPIONS!

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Z-List's picture

when you're right you get to sleep on the couch

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