Thanks for Helping (Update)

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osu78's picture

Great to hear that you've started down the path to feeling better, Beast. 

Remember we're pulling for you and here for you....

Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle and mutilate.

HS
Buckeye Beast's picture

I really appreciate it, a lot. 

Aesculus Glabra

HS
Buck It's picture

I am glad to hear that you are focusing on your own well being and have made an appointment to speak with a therapist. 

But please don’t watch MASH...that opening music is depressing as shit. My dad has seen every episode 300 times and still watches it every night. I used to hate hearing that music like 2-3 days before school started when I was a kid. Always got me in a down mood. 

HS
Wargor's picture

Yeah, its a funny show, but it certainly isn't mindless comedy.  As it should, a show about war can bring you down from time to time.

And yeah, best not to dwell too long on the opening song.

HS
analyticalguy's picture

At least the lyrics aren't sung for the TV show. You have to go to the movie for those.

Going to therapy is much better for you.

HS
Buckeye Beast's picture

I remember the theme song made me not wanna watch the show at all when I was younger. It seemed so old to me. Now, I appreciate the style of humor. 

Aesculus Glabra

HS
Hovenaut's picture

Good for you, Beast...first steps, man.

Feel good about this, and know there is still so much more for you.

Got M...igan gossip? Bang it here.

HS
Buckeye Beast's picture

I'm hoping there is more, Hove. I'm not sure right now. Maybe I'm just in that stage where nothing makes sense. But I'm glad I'm trying the therapy thing, I have high hopes for it.

Aesculus Glabra

HS
tjshaffe's picture

Buckeye Beast - There will be more, especially since you are taking the initiative to better yourself.  You will have these little moments of clarity that will make what you are doing worth it.  Just keep at it.  

Reach out if you have questions or just wanna chat -- we've all been through it in one way or another.  

Cheers! 

HS
Even Steven's picture

Hope for the best for you, Beast.

If heartbreak ever gets you down again — I’ve found that the best solution is: just go out there and bag as many chicks as you can. 

Some will say another good idea is to find a girl who looks like your ex, and just bang the evil out of her. But, that can get kinda dicey if you’re still hung up on her. Also, can just cause you to miss her more. Or, you could accidentally call the lookalike by the wrong name. We’ve all done that, right? Broads haaaaaate that. Oh well, what the hell, I say go ahead and bang the lookalike too, just try to do it sober.

But, again, just go out there and nail as many hot tamales as you can.

Best of luck, bud.

HS
Buckeye Beast's picture

Overall, a pretty flawless comment. lol. I actually tried to move on a bit over a month ago. I was talking to a girl, she seemed down for anything. But I just wasn't into it, it made me depressed. I feel like an idiot sometimes, but it is what it is now. When the time is right, maybe I will.

Aesculus Glabra

HS
NorCal Buckeye's picture

Or, you could accidentally call the lookalike by the wrong name. We’ve all done that, right? 

Yep, and she didn't even look like the ex.

HS
Buck95's picture

Even Steven, I hope your comment is in jest.  If not, I seriously feel sorry for you for living that type of life and actually thinking that could make anything better,  How sad!

Feel better, Beast!

HS
Buck95's picture

Thanks for the downvote - I appreciate it.

The kind of attitude in ES's post (assuming he was serious) is pure objectification, and nothing more.  It comes from someone who views women as something to be used and not respected - it surely doesn't come from anyone who actually likes women!

I hope mister downvoter, any other downvoters and Even Steven (if he was serious) never have a daughter that some dude sees as a "hot tamale" worthy only of being nailed!

You don't like my opinion, downvote away!

HS
Frimmel's picture

The Rational Male has a post for this too. Circles back to my prior link about ONEitis. 

The story in this one reminds me of an Eddie Murphy bit: Just some regular old crackers. 

The ‘special little snowflake’ concept is a very old Red Pill cliché, but sometimes it’s worth returning to why these came about. One thing Blue Pill conditioning does for boys who will later become men is that, by default, it puts the feminine as the highest priority men need to have for their lives. One reason I stress men becoming their own mental point of origin is because they are taught from a very early age to replace their own imperatives as their first thought with those of women; in other words to pedestalize the feminine. They are conditioned to seek feminine approval, and in so doing, the reward that this approval represents becomes the gender-correct context through which boys and Blue Pill men are taught to filter their social interactions through.

You've got to kick at the darkness till it bleeds daylight. 

HS
Even Steven's picture

Comment removed for violating the site's commenting policy.

HS
Buck It's picture

Just remember to keep an open mind and try not to get bogged down in the small things. Time can be your best friend and your worst enemy. One day at a time my man. 

HS
GrandTheftHarley's picture

try not to get bogged down in the small things.

Sound wisdom, Buck It. Had a good friend of mine (died recently of heart failure) who told me, "Don't sweat the small stuff. It's all small stuff."

I am not very smart, but I recognize that I'm not very smart. --- W.W. Hayes

HS
GrandTheftHarley's picture

Just spending the day watching M.A.S.H. from here on out.

Just reassure me, Beast, that you won't take the M.A.S.H. theme song to heart. ;-)

Wishing you the very best. Take it one day at a time, trite as that may sound.

I am not very smart, but I recognize that I'm not very smart. --- W.W. Hayes

HS
Buckeye Beast's picture

Is there something to this MASH song? I never knew it had lyrics

Aesculus Glabra

HS
Wargor's picture

They are from the movie.  

A quote about it from the backstory:  (Altman’s two stipulations: the song had to be called “Suicide Is Painless,” and it had to be “the stupidest song ever written.” )

Emphasis on the stupid part.  Of course, as you've covered here, that's a lie, as it is extremely painful to all concerned, which is of course a much wider circle than most think.  As a fan of MASH though, I'm sure you're already familiar with the show's brushes with gallows humor.

HS
osu78's picture

It does, and they are very depressing but appropriate for the scene in the movie where it is sung.

Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle and mutilate.

HS
GrandTheftHarley's picture

Without further elaboration, what Wargor said, Beast.

I am not very smart, but I recognize that I'm not very smart. --- W.W. Hayes

HS
Sunny Buck's picture

I consulted a therapist in 2004 for some lifelong issues to sort through. My therapist was a wonderful woman who had a clientele made up of police officers, firefighters and other "strong men" type of guys. She really knew how to connect to the male psyche.

She told me that her secret to success was that men could be open and honest with her and respond well to treatment. Moral of the story; you have to be honest with your therapist. Don't be too embarrassed to be honest. Besides, they have heard it all anyway.

You're on your way back beast. Stay the course, learn to dwell on positive things. Let us know how it goes ( if you want to).

I'm not trying to win a popularity contest. I'm trying to win football games-- Woody Hayes

HS
Buckeye Beast's picture

I've been thinking a lot that it could go very well, because they won't have to do much to get inside my head and figure out what's going on there.

Aesculus Glabra

HS
Brooksie's picture

I think what everyone is saying is you cannot be any good for anyone else you may care about or want to care about until you fix yourself first. A good place to start is to surround yourself and your life with people who make you feel appreciated. Little by little you can rebuild your self esteem to the point where life will feel "right" again. No one one will need to tell you when that is - you will know. Getting to that point will afford you the confidence to take on new paths in your life.

You should be commended for seeking proper care, and not choosing to self medicate. The next time that option works for someone will be the first.

Good luck to you.

(I was in a similar dark spot in my life years ago. A song that REALLY helped me was Gloria Estefan's "Coming out of the Dark". Give it a listen).

Bucks Fan since 1970

HS
Buckeye Beast's picture

I've realized that myself finally. My issues always pop up in some form or another, and it's always the death of whatever I have, in some form or another. At some point, I just had to stop lying to myself and recognize the pattern.

Aesculus Glabra

HS
Frimmel's picture

Change is painful and not at all easy. We change when changing is less painful than the status quo.

One of the things I personally always come back to is that you have to start with the right questions. The answer doesn't matter if you haven't asked the right question. I read this guy's book "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F***." Here he suggests we ask a much more important question which isn't what we want but what we're willing to suffer for

What determines your success isn’t “What do you want to enjoy?” The question is, “What pain do you want to sustain?” The quality of your life is not determined by the quality of your positive experiences but the quality of your negative experiences. And to get good at dealing with negative experiences is to get good at dealing with life.

There’s a lot of crappy advice out there that says, “You’ve just got to want it enough!”

Everybody wants something. And everybody wants something enough. They just aren’t aware of what it is they want, or rather, what they want “enough.”

Because if you want the benefits of something in life, you have to also want the costs. If you want the beach body, you have to want the sweat, the soreness, the early mornings, and the hunger pangs. If you want the yacht, you have to also want the late nights, the risky business moves, and the possibility of pissing off a person or ten thousand.

You've got to kick at the darkness till it bleeds daylight. 

HS
Wargor's picture

Good stuff.  Of course, another way to the yacht is to be born lucky.  Perhaps with the last name Walton for the next 10 generations or so...

HS
Buckeye Beast's picture

You always seem to bring some quality reading material to the table. Luckily, I'm realizing I don't want to suffer for this woman as much as I thought I did. 

Aesculus Glabra

HS
Frimmel's picture

Well I can only point you at all this stuff because I'm a bit of a mess myself. But I was a mess at your age too. I'm just a different kind of mess now.

Stuff from The Rational Male and Mark Manson has been very helpful to me.

One of the terrific things I've found about social media is that with it it is much easier for men to ask for help and to provide help. There is still a mess because of the nature of men competing with one another and such. However it is also easier for a man to say "I had a problem like that and here's what I did to solve it. Is there something there you can use?"

It can be overwhelming cause there is soooo much and somebody is always trying to sell you some book or course or coaching and none of these guys are perfect and for everything useful there is nonsense and none of us are living in your shoes. You have to do the work. You have to make the good habits. You have to make the decisions. Everything in your life is your fault. 

You've got to kick at the darkness till it bleeds daylight. 

HS
Frimmel's picture

I'm glad to hear this too. I went to the prior thread before noticing this new one. I was glad the article I linked helped. The Rational Male is a big help in navigating the romantic world.  

The powers that be took down the original site called Chateau Heartiste but this bit of wisdom can still be found. I wish I'd had it as a kid. 

The Sixteen Commandments of Poon.

You've got to kick at the darkness till it bleeds daylight. 

HS
aphilly02's picture

Yea ASG has kicked parking prices up big time. Drove down here this morning and was charged double my normal lot rate. Glad you are looking up. Only thing you can do!

"To Buckeye Nation: You have my word that I'm going to give everything I have to continue the tradition of excellence and winning that this program has enjoyed during its storied history."

HS
MaineStrength's picture

Glad to hear it!  Be patient with yourself & best of luck.  I'm certain you'll be better off for it.  Growth doesn't come without struggle.

Strength equipment is expensive & guarantees you nothing. A strong will is free & will give you everything you need.

HS
Buckeye Beast's picture

I'm trying to look up, too. I hope it all works out. This month and the ones to come might suck, but hopefully I will be better off.

Aesculus Glabra

HS
youra6's picture

I compare it to tidal waves. It's the monsoon season right now and the waves are going to crash in hard. As time goes by the waves will start to subside but every now and then you'll get a big one that might wipe you out. Stay strong and don't feel like you have to fight the current. It's okay to be sad and angry. Just be sure to surround yourself with a healthy support group.

HS
Buckeye Beast's picture

I did the whole therapy thing last night. It went ok I think. I told him most of the highlights in regards to my issues, they don't have to dig too hard with me. He told me to make sure I'm eating, and keep going to the gym. Also he wanted me to focus on any progress at all, because it's still progress. It was an initial session, I'm guessing it might take him a few to actually figure me out better. I'm going back next week. 

Cool guy though, he likes the Browns, says his wife got him into Ohio State football. I can see it going well.

Aesculus Glabra

HS
analyticalguy's picture

You've taken the first step. Now jyst keep walking. You'll work it out.

HS
Frimmel's picture

Yep. "If you're going through Hell, keep going." 

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." 

You have to know your cliches. They're your friends. 

You've got to kick at the darkness till it bleeds daylight. 

HS
Knarcisi's picture

Beast, I’ll keep this simple. I struggle with anxiety and depression. So if that’s the case, eat clean and live healthy, get it out there, and talk to someone about it, as often as it takes. 

And as far as this woman goes, no one, including her, defines you. Be the best possible version of yourself.  Don’t ever beg for affection.  If she is meant to be part of your life, she will be. If not, then turn the page. 

HS
Buckeye Beast's picture

Thanks, Knar. This might be my favorite comment so far.

Aesculus Glabra

HS