The Michigan Wolverines are the eternal threat to the north and the only enemy that matters, so it's important to know exactly how much you should freak out about them from week to week. Threat Level: Michigan is here to help.
There was a lot for Michigan fans to love in their 33-17 victory over Florida; they held the Gators to under 200 yards of offense and no touchdowns, they didn't allow a single point in the second half, Jim Harbaugh matched his 2016 win total over ranked teams, and this guy got a short moment of spiritual fulfilment via irritating everyone around him before going back to his cold, listless life:
— Belle Es You (@SouthernbeLLSU) September 2, 2017
Most of their success on Saturday is attributable to their suffocating defense, which Freep conveyed thusly:
Michigan looked faster in the front seven and more explosive up the middle overall in a relentless, dominating defensive showing. Maurice Hurst was chasing down screens, Devin Bush was everywhere, Khaleke Hudson brought pressure, Chase Winovich and Rashan Gary brought pressure. [...] But at first look, Michigan's defense looked considerably more athletic and faster than the group that finished No. 1 in the Big Ten last season.
They did look very, very good, and you would be forgiven for the beads of cold sweat running down your back as you imagine, for the briefest of moments, Ohio State's wide receivers trying to find space against a defense that looked like it was unwilling to cede any. If you're looking for optimism however, then check out the odyssey of the very Amishly named quarterback Wilton Speight, who was briefly benched for incompetence despite being, in the words of Jim Harbaugh, "a very, very accurate thrower" (he's not).
Michigan fans are pretty stoked by the win, but it's also probably worth it to remember that Florida was without approximately half their team due to suspensions, including their leading receiver and rusher from 2016. You would think that might temper Wolverine gloating a bit, but only if you have zero understanding of their coach, players, or fanbase:
"I probably shouldn't comment on this, but I just don't really understand why Florida would come out and say all these negative things about us," (defensive end Chase) Winovich said. "They didn't respect us last time. Like, we beat them pretty bad (last time). You think they would respect us this time.
"It's kind of sad."
Granted, that was in response to a dumb comment by a Florida player before the game and Winovich's response is mostly justified, but this is just such a perfectly condescending Michigan Man remark that I had to include it. Every team that Michigan beats from here until the Michigan State game on October 7th will be subjected to the exact same humblebragging arrogance, even if Speight continues to throw multiple pick-sixes per game.
THREAT LEVEL
The average salty Michigan fan will clamor for more respect for beating a ranked Florida team, and I will deny it for managing to be losing at halftime to the 116th offense from last season which also happened to be missing their best offensive players from 2016. To be somebody you've gotta beat somebody, and it's going to be almost two months before Michigan will really be able to establish its national bonafides in front of a large audience. That won't prevent the well-oiled UM hype machine from positioning one of their (probably defensive) players as the leading contender for the September Heisman.
Suffice to say, I'm still not particularly impressed. Michigan's defense is as impressive as it's always been under Harbaugh, which is no small feat for a team that only returns one defensive starter from last season, and I'll give them credit for that. But the offense was anemic for much of the game and they were playing a Florida team missing some of their best players. Michigan needs a few more dominant performances in a row to get me shaking in my boots. Threat level: guarded.
Next up is Cincinnati, and a chance for Luke Fickell to redeem himself for accounting for Ohio State's only loss to Michigan since 2004. Spoiler alert: he won't.
